Date: 06/24/2020 02:32 AM Title: O N E
This is my fave.... soo hot! Keep bad Joe coming! If ya know what I mean!, such good writing! :)
I'm always glad when I'm not the only person who still has a soft spot for Joe, even when he's as much of a douche as he is in this story, ha! There is definitely more Bad Joe to come. ;)
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review, I appreciate you, Paula!
Date: 06/24/2020 01:54 AM Title: T H R E E
This is tough... because like I just read it right before you posted, and it's hard remembering everything that made me feel something or gasp or laugh. Just know that it happened frequently.
I don't know why I keep being surprised by Joe's character. Like... I know he's a douchebag. I know he's going to do things I don't think are smart. I know I'm going to get grumpy about it. But I still sit there after reading it and just... call him names haha. He's the antagonist. I have to remember that. (but I won't... because you write him doing all these unforgivable things and I still can't bring myself to hate him like I should). JUST STOP MAKING IT WORSE JOSEPH! okay. cool.
Will let out a deep, foamy-sounding burp that made me reel back at the impact of the smell.
Omg. I read this and picked this line for two reasons. 1) FRICKIN puppy Will (Jeremy Sumpter in my mind) chugging a beer just makes me grin, okay?! I don't know what I'm trying to say, just know that he's so cute and all you made him do was lose a chugging contest.
and reason 2) the last few words made me want to gag. lmfao I could literally smell it. I can picture myself in this bar and I can smell this burp. That's disgusting but WELL DONE! haha
as the second beer started to hit me
LOL so I picked this out because when I first read it I was like: "Joe's getting drunk on only TWO beers?!" but then I remembered that they chugged them,and that could have more impact lol. Almost wanted to call Joe a pussy if he'd been drunk on two beers. Says the girl who cannot chug. anything. not beer. not juice. not water. haha
So I legit had to look this word up because I didn't know what it meant, and I was not disappointed lol
Well, well, well, if it isn't the prick with the community dick,
Okay. See it's lines like this that make me want to be all protective of Joe, and cut a beotch, but at the same time I'm like... she's not wrong. YOU SEE MY DILEMMA?! But also... the only reason she hates Joe is because she's besties with Kelly.... who was the community bicycle. Like, really bitch? I wish there was an emoji or something I could put here to express myself.
Just tried to put a gif and it doesn't work. FUCK. no wait.
This wasn't the first time he'd jumped on this particular grenade.
It reminds me so much of the Nick story I'm writing. Well... you know the 5 lines I've written more like. lol Was this line in the original? Also.. i listened to the Grenade song by Conor and Jack Maynard A LOT when I was last trying to write lmfao. Put me in a silly/good mood. Which is probably how Burgundy Teeth started.
I wonder how often guys ACTUALLY do this? Yikes. I don't want to think about it actually lol
the twins regaled in stories about their experiences at Columbia, both academic and recreational alike.
Okay. Okay... okay. So you know you must be growing up when you read about these chicks going on and on about their recent sexual escapades at university, and all you can think about is: "Joe, please ask them the last time they got checked." But also.. he should get checked. If you ever needed an extra filler scene for this story... make it about him going to a clinic to get checked LMFAO
"I meant in regards to you."
Careful, Joe. You're humanity is almost showing. It was almost nice worrying about someone else.
"neither was his sister."
So I literally just pictured a popular gif/picture when I read this. See below! lmfao.
Nothing dampens a good time quite like your brother publicly denouncing you in favor of a dickweed.
It just such a solid line to end the chapter with. Like it's funny, but still packs a punch? Like our narrator, Joe, is telling it like it is, but it actually makes you think that underneath it, he's actually hurt. Or he's just still mad him and the twins were interrupted. Can't wait for more between Kevin and Joe.
THE FUCKING PICTURE. WHAT THE WHAT - HOW DO I - IS THERE A WAY TO GET THOUGHTS OUT ABOUT IT?!?!? I don't even remember who the face claim actually is. Tell me... so I can scurry along and slide into his DMs. k cool.
willingness to experience double the fuckery!
LOL. I do experience double the fuckery. Mostly just from reading the chapters twice. Maybe even TRIPLE the fuckery because you text me about the chapter while rewriting it! haha! I still don't think I'm very qualified to give even the smallest of notes on the story, but you keep asking and I'll keep doing it.
Okay. That's all I can handle for now. FUCK. how is it only chapter 3?!*insert applaud gif here* no wait i can do that now...
GREAT FUCKING CHAPTER.
Love you! and Logan. and Will. *grumbling* and sometimes Joe.
PS: DANCE - still laughing. PPS: I'm going to be livid if none of the gifs I used work.
I hate that you reviewed like right after I posted, and yet it's taken my like three days to respond to it. *facepalm*
He's the antagonist. I have to remember that. (but I won't... because you write him doing all these unforgivable things and I still can't bring myself to hate him like I should) <-- LMFAO. That's probs how I ended up winning both 'Best Villain' and 'Best Joe' that one year in the jbfa awards.
Your love for Will this time around makes me grin. "Puppy Will". Who would've thought we'd end up having that much of a soft spot for him? But about your second reaction: YES LMFAO. The best kind of reaction. It was admittedly because my brother had done it to me earlier that day, only not with beer, lol.
You making fun of Joe for being drunk off of two beers lmfaooo. I mean, I didn't say he was drunk, just that he was feeling it. (But also, you know I'm not a drinker hahaha).
The "prick"/"community dick" line was one from the original version haha. It was too good not to include, even if Amber didn't deserve to say it. "Community bicycle" <-- LMFAOOO. I mean, I feel like that's a pretty accurate desciption for Joe actually hahaha.
The irony with the grenade line is that it was actuallly in the original chapter! haha. Will was never supposed to like Amber, lol. Poor guy. But also, about you wondering how many guys actually do it: same. I've wondered if I've been the grenade before....
DUDE. I remember listening to the high schooler I used to work with, and she used to talk about all these guys she's slept with before, and that her friends have hooked up with them too, and I just...I feel like a mom. Bc I know this girl in particular wasn't using condoms (she said she had a latex allergy, which, fine, but there are alternatives, ya know? Your IUD isn't gonna protect you from stds, girlfriend!)
So yeah, safe to say, I feel you on the getting checked thing haha.
Careful, Joe. You're humanity is almost showing. <-- I didn't even think about it like that, LOL. Which I think is safe to say that Joe probs wouldn't have been thinking that either in the moment. But you're right. I honestly don't think he'd even have the faith in himself to recognize that haha.
The gif was the "sister" line was GOLD.
It just such a solid line to end the chapter with. Like it's funny, but still packs a punch? Like our narrator, Joe, is telling it like it is, but it actually makes you think that underneath it, he's actually hurt. <-- I realy liked this analysis?? Like, I really don't know what to say in regards to this bc you pretty much nailed it, but I also appreciate that you make me realize things I didn't while writing?
Your reaction to Logan's faceclaim still makes me cackle.
LOVE YOU and your reviews, and your ace usage of gifs!
(Joe loves you too, even if you only sometimes love him hahaha.)
(PS. I had fucking forgot about the Dance thing already LMFAO. Fucking Dance.)
Date: 06/18/2020 03:34 AM Title: T W O
You know how hard it is to focus my frustration on just one of these characters? Lol. I so so frustrated with Kelly (obviously) because she's such a big ole bitch to not only Joe but like....why is she such a fucking asshat to literally everyone else? Not needed. I get Logan... but Emma? wtf? Grow up. haha
I really wish I had the chance - just once - to call someone this to their face. Like... imagine? I could never because I'm too shy and couldn't deal with it, but.. maybe even just hearing someone call someone else that? I feel like it would be so SO satisfying. and hilarious lmfao
“Better question: should I leave the two of you alone?”
Yes. Yes, Emma, you should leave the two of them to themselves because Jogan is life.
“Joe, I still love you,”
IN WHAT WORLD, BEOTCH?! Like... is she this stupid? I speak like this character is real, because they ARE real to me. Kelly needs a reality check. Did she think saying this was going to bring about ANYTHING? You've fucked Joe over, you've just argued and disrespected his best friend who literally might be the only person he cares about in the world, and you think it's a good idea to tell Joe you still love him? No.
Before you know it, he’ll be fucking her when you’re not around.
Ouch. Uhhh... yeah. K cool.
You’re no better than the ex-girlfriend you’re constantly slut-shaming
Annnnnnnnd we're back to being frustrated with Joe. Nick is abso-fucking-lutely right. This is all Kelly's fault, yes, but I just wish Nick had more resources other than one argument Logan had with Joe to help him ...fix Joe? Like... we all know it does ultimately take a lot more to get anywhere, but I wish it didn't. Because it destroys me. haha
Ugh. I don't feel like this review was too good, but know that for me to be this frustrated with your characters this early? Fucking fantastic work. But you know me... I'm always overly attached/emotional/affected by your characters.
And dude, thanks for the plug haha. I wonder if people will remember/want to reread One Thing. I could read you write Avery all day long lmfao
Long live Jogan.
When I was rewriting this chapter, I genuinely did try to make Kelly more...palatable? Like, not the quintessential catty ex, you know? LOL. But yeah, the Emma thing. *sigh* That was just kind of a thing that ended up happening as I was rewriting. It felt natural as shitty as that is lmfao.
cum-guzzling-gutter-slut <-- XD not gonna lie, this was something I took from one of my brother's friends when we were in like, middle school. Or maybe I was a freshman? Regardless, he used to call people this on a regular basis. And you right, it was funny every time he said it. Especially bc even then, this kid was a fricken' stoner. He also used: "aids-infested-herpe-slurpee". That one, while funny to the ear, is considerably more offensive and fucked up lol.
Yes, Emma, you should leave the two of them to themselves because Jogan is life. <-- LMFAO. YASSS. I have to admit, I rewrote most, if not all of that scene, and I had so much fun. It gave me such a love for the three of them as a Trio. So yeah, I feel your ouch too.
Your entire tirade about Kelly had me dying. GET HER, MANDERZZ. I really don't know what else to say about this bc I agree with you about all of it, even though I'm the one that did it.
Like... we all know it does ultimately take a lot more to get anywhere <-- I meannn...if you remember what happened in the last chapter I had posted of this, then you know what it takes to do just this.
Chapter two and you're already frustrated, yeah buddy. I'll take it!! Next chapter is even worse, so...
Regarding One Thing, I mean, if the surprising amount of interest shown by your 143-readers is anything, I think people would be interested. Even if there wasn't, you and I would both still get a kick out of reading it again and again haha! I could read you write Avery all day long <-- XD maybe this means we should attempt another collab then...?
I love you. Jogan loves you. (Will loves you LOL).
(Also, why are you thanking me for the plug? The number of times you've plugged my stories? Are you kidding? *pffffffffft*)
Date: 06/17/2020 01:37 PM Title: T W O
Firstly, this was SUCH A FUNNY CHAPTER. I love getting genuine smirks while reading, and boy is Joe’s internal dialogue just full of laugh out loud lines.
Here’s some examples:
—Honestly, she needed me the entire damn day.
—Logan snorted. “Where you gonna go, Dr. Seuss?”
—When Emma walks in on Jogan lol
—“I must chivalrously decline to answer.” LMAO smartass
Secondly, you end notes are also such a pleasure to read! "The main things that haven't changed" made me laugh. Also, this feels like old JBFA days with you shouting out Mandy and me going over to read her stuff (bc so far Relapse is all I've read on here). Look at how far we've all come, only end up right back here LMAO
Kelly is SUCH a bitch. AND SHE KEYED HIS CAR?! I would just love not to have to deal with her for a while, what a monster. Saving grace? Joe standing up for Emma when Kelly just stomps on Emma like that. (Which, btw, savage of Kelly. Like, OUCH. To be hit with a “you’re nothing to me” so blatantly? :( Sad.) But mostly Logan standing up for Joe and just raging at Kelly. Obviously there was a lot he wanted to say and I’m glad he did. So satisfying to read!
Speaking of getting angry words off his chest, Nick giving it to Joe was really good too. You already set up how Nick is really the only one of the family who can stand Joe, and so to read about Nick’s (fair) criticisms HURT; I guess I DO have a soft spot for your trashy Joe lol Well played, K, well played. Also, Nick knowing Kelly was there but choosing to focus on his mission (to yell at/get through to Joe) instead of asking questions, is such a power move. Your Nick does it again, becomes an instant favorite character. (You’re no better than the ex-girlfriend you’re constantly slut-shaming. YAS NICK!)
I love the relationship Emma and Logan have so much; they seem really in sync and really in love. It was so cool to watch Joe think Logan didn’t want to show this angry side of him to Emma, but Emma just got angry too instead of her opinion of Logan changing. Really really good. I LOVE the line: She had never seen this side of Logan before, and honestly, I don’t think he had ever intended for her to, either. There’s Joe’s attention to detail in regards to the both of them, and that’s just super insightful of him; I guess it humanizes Joe who honestly seems like he doesn’t have much of a heart at the moment.
Another favorite line is: Trying to rekindle something because you have history isn’t love, it’s convenience.GORGEOUS sentiment and absolutely true. Emma’s so great.
I feel like I remember being worried in the past about Emma and Joe but I honestly don’t know if that happens and so I am just gonna wait for ch3 and hope this trio remains best friends forever.
Love this so much already. Excited to be whisked further down the path of unrighteousness.
P.S. lyric: Don't trust a ho, Never trust a ho, Cause a hoe won't trust me
Obviously a gimmie but c’mon, how fitting?
First off, this: I love getting genuine smirks while reading, and boy is Joe’s internal dialogue just full of laugh out loud lines. <-- YAY! Glad this got a physical reaction!!
The beginning scene with Jogan was honestly one of my favorite things I've written (rewritten?) so far. It's just so...genuine? I was gonna say like a "pure hearted" moment in this story, but it's not pure lmfao. It's just them being normal, dumb dudes. (Also, I think I enjoyed writing this bc it made me nostalgic for like high school, and laughing my ass off at the guys when they would end up wrestling like this. Somehow I would usually get pulled into it bc one of them would try using me as a shield, and obvs the other person didn't care about manhandling me lmfao)
Regarding the end notes: even if no one else takes the time to read them, at least I know that you and Mandy read them haha.
Okay the lines/things you pointed out:
- The "whole damn day" thing was from the original story haha. I cleaned up the sentence a bit, but the fuckboy sentiment is the epitome of Relapse Joe hahaha.
- The Dr. Seuss thing was one of my favorite lines of this chapter too! The "cum-guzzling-gutter-slut" thing is a real thing an old friend used to say, and I think it's the cadence of it that makes it so funny. Which, obvs comparison, right? XD
- Also, the "chivalrous" line was kind of in the original, as well. I'm glad that you're pointing out/enjoying some of the staple things that made Relapse what it is!
Date: 06/16/2020 05:31 PM Title: T W O
I am DEFINITELY here for fuckboy Joe because that is my favorite Joe hahahah I cannot wait for it to get wilder cause girl I am so ready for it.
Oh God, I hate Kelly with a burning passion. Seriously. Who does she think she is??? How could she even do that to Joe???? And how can she just stand there and say all that??? God what a bitch. You had him, you cheated, you RUINED him, YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM. Can I slap her? Pleaaaaseee can I?
Also, Jogan? FUCK YEAH I'M HERE FOR IT. But I really hope nothing is going to happen with Joe and Emma? I don't remember if it did but please don't let it because Logan will never recover from that and their bromance is everything.
I can't wait for the next update!!!
I have to admit that fuckboy Joe is a favorite of mine too. I am glad that rl Joe has such a pure soul, but man is Bad Boy Joe such a thrist trap haha. Also, I fricken' love Depuis Joe so your approval of this Joe just...*smooshes cheeks to keep from grinning*
I actually tamed Kelly down a considerable amount in the rewrite, and the fact that so many people still hate her so intensely makes me laugh. I'm sure Joe and Logan would love for you to slap her lmfao. I feel like that's something they'd definitely just sit back and watch and not interfere with at all. Also, your reaction to Jogan in general was the BEST. They're the only real OTP as far as I'm concerned haha. (Honestly, their bromance being what it is was not my intention when I was first writing this story lol)
Fuckboy Joe is in his absolute prime in the next chapter, so be prepared!
Thanks for reviewing, Sofie!! :)
Date: 06/16/2020 06:30 AM Title: O N E
Turns out, I had read this chapter, and maybe the second too. Wanna know how I know? Because I remember telling you that I thought Logan and Joe should end up together. Alas, we press on, and I am here to let you take me on a ride unlike any other.
Seriously, this story is so different than any you've ever written, then and since. Joe is SUCH an asshole. It's hard to root for someone like this, even with you making his backstory sad!boi tragic LOL
Anyway, I have missed your flowy sentences and rude humor and full-of-life characters. I am so glad to see Joe being brought to life again. Maybe even especially because he's such a dick -- that has got to be fun for you, having not written someone like this since this, right? ah I'm just truly happy to be actively invested this time around. Esp now that you think you have a good send-off for the characters; i'm always in it for the happily ever afters haha
FAVE LINES TIME:
-joe saying the wrong name, getting slapped, and then upping his tally to 13. what the fuck. he's an absolute disaster.
-I could've been a smartass in that moment...but my cheek was still tender. lmao get him, girl!
-logan's girlfriend emma calling joe 'trouble' is cute.
-the relationship joe has with his family sounds so awful, i'm so hype to read about it lol. and i'm suuuuuuper hype to meet your nick because i've always loved your nicks so much. READY FOR IT, let's go. (but i already know logan is gonna be my guy. <3)
I AM READY TO LOVE THIS STORY and also add these songs to my phone too. ah, feeling nostalgic for the beginning of our friendship being exaclty like this moment: me gushing, you being brilliant.
"be safe. be kind." is such a beautiful sign-off. love you lots, k. looking forward to plenty more screaming at the screen because of the sheer fuckery.
p.s. i'm gonna leave a pop song that fits the chapter here for you to guess(/google, let's be honest) what it is: just another typical saturday. wrong name, my mistake, didn't mean to break your heart. did ya get it instantly?
It's hard to root for someone like this, even with you making his backstory sad!boi tragic LOL <-- LMFAO. sad!boi tragic. I don't even have a real comment other than to let you know that it made (and keeps making) me laugh out loud.
I have missed your flowy sentences and rude humor and full-of-life characters. <-- If this is my TM I WILL TAKE IT. XD
I've already told you this once before, but I'm glad that you're actively invested in this story this time around. I feel like I've been able to correct a lot of the misogynistic/general things that I just don't agree with anymore, while also being able to maintain the pure...honestly, no other word than fuckery can justify some of the things that happen. He's a young guy trying to figure his shit out, it's not that unfathomable that he'd be an absolute trainwreck hahaha, but he doesn't constantly need to be calling women "skanks" or "sluts", you feel?
Guess that's the difference between "young adult" K, and "adult adult" (barf) K.
Okay, in regards to your fave lines (which also, THE NOSTALGIA):
- I think the tally line was actually one of the few lines I didn't even think about changing. It was one of the "quintessential" Relapse lines.
- I'm glad you noticed the tender cheek line - that was a change. Joe def lacked that sort of subtlety in the original.
- Emma calling Joe "Trouble" was also a new thing! I love it too. I think it's definitely more suiting to Emma's character. It had taken me several chapters to flesh her out (and then her spinoff to get the actual feel of her), and that ended up with her not being true to herself in these first original chapters. And also, she's just saying what we're all thinking haha.
- Joe's family dynamic in this story is def awful, but it's not irredeemable, you know? And I'm hoping that with my experience writing screwed up family dynamics since, that I'll be able to better tackle that aspect of the story this time around. But also, regarding Nick, his dynamic with Joe in this story is very much how it is in many of my stories, so LEGGO. (Ew, I hate myself lmfao).
Date: 06/15/2020 04:54 PM Title: T W O
This is SO good, I can't wait to see where it goes!!!
I'm so glad you're enjoying this so far, and that you're in for the ride! I apologize in advance for all the frustration these idiots cause you.
Thank you so much for reviewing! I appreciate you. :)
Date: 06/12/2020 03:27 AM Title: O N E
ALRIGHTY! So I wish i knew exactly what was going through my mind the first time I ever read this. Probably shock and awe. And hey! can't say it has changed much lmao
But like it was probably way worse back then because it would have been me going from reading I'm Yours, Idiot and the other stories in the series to suddenly reading something like THIS from you. I wish I had that much growth to my writing back in the day. If anything I was a fluff writer, and a fluff writer only. You... are so much more.
"9.2," he stated with his mouth full, milk seeping messily from the corners. He had a thing for rating the attractiveness of my hookups.
So really, all I wanted to say about this line is that... Will is actually adorable in my eyes. i know! okay, so logan is the be all end all, but Will is just like a little puppy beside these two alpha dogs and I can't help but to like him and want to keep him safe hahaha
shoving Will's foot from the back of the couch on the way. // shoved Will's feet off the couch
Like!!! look at how poorly they treat him. I understand that this is completely normal, and he's probably the most annoying person ever, but he's like a little kid. A little frat boy fuckboy kid. lmfao. Why am I feeling like this towards him?! Cutie.
I stuck it in her ass and moaned her best friend's name.
Nuff said. It's like 'oh hello and welcome back to your scheduled programming.' Because just before this he's going on about Emma and how she's a great girl blah blah blah, and Will lives with them because Joe was a good guy and let his gf's family take the open room blah blah blah and then BAM! We're back to fuckboy dirty Joe. Oh and then soon after this we go on to learn about the ex gf and the Joe who actually used to feel things with flawless transitions too. Well done.
"Hey, Joe," came a purr.
So he's a terrible person. and I know that. and I shouldn't feel anything about this going on...but I do. And this bitch needs to step off. But in the back of my mind I'm just like... how long was she waiting around wearing lingerie in her apartment for him to come out of his door? Pathetic. but joe is joe so... I get it. hahah
Can't wait to read more!
LOVE YOU! Hate Joe, but love Jogan. confusing.
PS - Will is cute.
I honestly don't know if Relapse would've really been what it is without a certain Fuckboy and the other Guy Friend. So I attribute my branching out from "fluff" to them, because the inspiration was not lacking whenever I was around them, lol. (Also, you're not just a Fluff writer, we've been over this before. Your comedic timing is ace!)
Regarding Will, IT'S NOT JUST YOU.
"Will is just like a little puppy beside these two alpha dogs" <-- The actual best description of their trio LMFAO. I felt like Will was puppy-like too! I definitely rewrote some of his lines and calmed the misogyny down (as I will probs have to do with the entirety of this story,) but still, I kept thinking: he's not even that bad, really? Like, not enough to merit the way Joe especially treats him. This sudden sympathy we have for him has gotta be us maturing, right? Like, in that we see through the fuckery of their hierachy -- not in the cougar-y sense, hahaha.
I actually just laughed out loud because I remembered saying this chapter was mild, and you saying: "agree to disagree". YOU RIGHT.
"how long was she waiting around wearing lingerie in her apartment for him to come out of his door?> <-- Not gonna lie, this had me wheezing. This is such a legitimately good question. And I would like 18/19 year old me to explain this as well hahaha.
I think you may be the only other person who has the same appreciation for these fucks as I do, and I am so thankful for it!
Love you! (And so does Jogan).
PS. You right. Plus, his face claim was always Jeremy Sumpter, so...
Date: 06/09/2020 05:56 PM Title: O N E
HELL. FUCKING. YES.
I am so ready for this again oh my God.
The enthusiasm in this review IS EVERYTHING!!
So glad that everyone is excited to see Trainwreck Joe again, even when he's being the actual worst.
Thanks for the review, Sofie! :)