13: Unca Ick, Unca Evin wuvs Anwelle and Unca Oey wuvs Kiwi? What?
Keeley was sitting on her bed doing homework while Cara played on the floor next to her. Joe was on the other end of the bed, with his guitar and on speaker phone with Kevin and Nick. He’d asked if he could stay with her and Cara, even though she would be doing homework and he’d be working. Of course, he also amended that if he’d distract her from her homework, he completely understood. Keeley told him she’d kick him out if he started bothering her.
“Man, this is so much easier when we’re all in the same room, much less state,” Nick complained over the phone. They were currently working on a new song Kevin had written, but without actually seeing the lyrics with the notes written on them and everything, Joe was having a hard time. They had emailed him the lyrics, which were open on the laptop in front of him, but it was still difficult.
“Joe, just move back to LA so we can get this done!” Kevin exclaimed, sick of hearing Nick complain.
“You guys know why I don’t want to be in LA right now. And you’re moving to Texas in like a week. Moving back to LA would be pointless, don’t you think?” Joe replied.
“So, move back to Texas then!” Nick cried.
Cara, who recently learned how to climb on things, tried to climb up next to Joe, but the bed was too big. She was also trying to climb with Jonas in her hand. “Unca O?” she looked up at him with her arms raised. Joe smiled down at her and picked her up, setting her in his lap. His guitar was laying on the bed next to him, being neglected again.
“Who was that?” Kevin asked curiously. “Was that the baby?”
“Yeah,” Joe answered, his voice having a different tone than it had. Keeley watched in amazement as Joe suddenly went from frustrated musician to soft and caring ‘father’.
“Hi… Cara, right?” Kevin asked.
Joe laughed, “Yeah. Cara say hi to Kevin.” She looked nervous and shy for a moment and gripped Jonas. “He’s my brother,” Joe explained softly.
“O-bro?” she asked with wide eyes.
“Yup. He’s a Jo-Bro,” Joe chuckled.
“I, Evin,” Cara said quietly, still shy.
Kevin laughed heartily at the small child. “She doesn’t say the first syllables does she?” he asked.
“It varies. Sometimes it’s the first, some times it’s the last, sometimes she just says different letters. She says w instead of l’s, so Keeley is Kiwi,” Joe explained.
“Why does she call you uncle?” Nick asked, finally saying something. An ow resonated through the phone, indicating that Kevin must have hit Nick. “I mean, it’s… cute. I was just wondering why,” he paused. “And hi, Cara.”
“Say hi to Nick, little one,” Joe instructed.
She looked nervous again, but spoke softly, “I, Ick.” Joe and Kevin, and even Keeley chuckled at that.
“She calls me Uncle Joe… because it kind of just slipped. It’s easier for her, I think. Because she calls Key, Aunt Kiwi. It distinguish a role to her. She calls Mommy, Momma J, or… at least we refer to her as Momma J…” he trailed off.
Keeley was bent over her text book, laughing quite hard. “What is that?” Nick asked impatiently.
“That would be a Keeley laughing hysterically. Key, dear, what is so funny?” Joe asked.
“You said Mommy… you really are a Momma’s boy,” she spoke through her laughter.
“Wait, so you’re hanging out with them while we’re supposed to be doing work?” Nick demanded.
Joe rolled his eyes, and he knew Kevin probably did, too. “Keeley’s doing her homework, and Cara wasn’t bothering anyone. She just couldn’t get up on the bed because it’s too high and she wouldn’t let go of Jonas.”
There was a moment of silence before Nick’s voice came through again, “What, pray tell, is Jonas?” he asked in a tone that indicated he clearly wouldn’t like the answer.
“The bear we bought her…” Joe replied.
“Ownus?” Cara asked, looking up at Joe.
He kissed her hair. “Yeah, Jonas.” He turned his attention back to his brothers. “She wanted to name him Joe, but Keeley wouldn’t let her. So we compromised on Jonas.”
Nick groaned. “I knew it’d be a bad idea for you to go out there! Not exactly what I expected, but damn.”
“Nick!” Keeley, Joe, and Kevin all snapped at him for his language. “Dude, the baby can hear you,” Kevin pointed out.
“Whatever. You better be willing to work while we’re out there in two weeks. No distractions,” Nick said, his tone making it impossible to miss the implications.
Kevin sighed, “Man, I thought we’d get to hang out with Keeley and Cara and get to know them. Joe seems to like them a lot.”
“Yeah, well, Joe’s not always the best judge of character,” Nick mumbled darkly.
“Excuse me?” Keeley finally included herself in the conversation except for the Momma’s boy comment. “You don’t even know me or my daughter to make such comments. You may be a celebrity, but that doesn’t make you not human. And right now, you’re being extremely rude. I’m sorry Joe didn’t call yesterday like he was supposed to, but ask your mother I flipped out at him when I found out he was supposed. And I’m sorry that it’s kind of hard to work on music in two different states, but he’s kind of got a point, you could come out here, too. He’s not the only one not willing to leave. You aren’t exactly hopping on the next flight out to help your mom. You should really know all the facts before you assume things about people,” she ranted.
Joe stared at her wide eyed with a open mouth, though a grin was hiding behind it. There was silence on the other end as neither Kevin nor Nick spoke.
“Ewwo?” Cara asked. “Evin? Ick? Where you go?”
Kevin, obviously the first to break out of his shock laughed and said, “She’s got a point, Nick-o. That’s on Joe and all three of us.”
“Joe didn’t have to go,” Nick argued, refusing to admit he was wrong.
“Would you want to be alone taking care of Frankie and trying to help a teenager raise a baby?” Kevin asked.
“No,” Nick admitted. “Fine. I was wrong. I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I can’t believe you yelled at me,” he chuckled, now that some of his anger towards her was ebbing away. “None of Joe’s girlfriends have ever had the balls to do that.”
“I’m not his girlfriend,” Keeley replied. “And don’t say balls in that manner around my daughter.”
“Oh, we knew that,” Nick stuttered slightly. “I meant, that you’re… normal. You have a back bone. I mean, if you were to date him… that’d be cool.”
“Riiiiiiiiiight,” Keeley replied. “Oh! I should go help Denise make dinner. Am I taking my daughter back or are you taking her hostage again?” she asked Joe.
“Oh! Can we talk to her on the webcam?” Kevin asked excitedly.
“I’ll take that as an I’m-not-getting-her-back. I’ll see you at dinner,” she said, kissing his cheek and ruffling Cara’s hair as she left.
“Dude, did she just kiss you?” Kevin asked.
Joe grinned but answered honestly, “Just my cheek, Kev. Just my cheek.” Though he added, “We aren’t allowed to kiss in front of Cara.”
“Woah, wait, what? Mom knows about you?” Nick demanded. “I though you liked her… you didn’t say that you were… together… wait, I thought you weren’t together?”
“We’re not,” Joe sighed in frustration. “She’s not ready for a relationship. Though we basically are dating. And yes, Mom knows. She knew about both of our feelings before we told her. Keeley promised her that she wasn’t trying to date Joe Jonas. That a boyfriend would be a distraction. But… Mom walked in on us kissing.”
“Ooooh. That sucks man,” Kevin replied. “I mean, stinks. Wow, I haven’t had to watch my vocabulary in so long.”
“Right, like you ever did when Frankie was little,” Joe scoffed as he accepted the video chat from his brothers. As they appeared he directed Cara’s attention away from Jonas to the screen. “Cara Bella, say hi to Kevin and Nick.”
“Cara Bella?” Kevin laughed through both the phone and the computer. Realizing this, he hung up the phone. Despite himself, Nick found himself smiling at the confused looking baby, who was trying to figure out why Kevin and Nick were on both the phone and the computer.
“Cara Isabella,” Joe replied. “Keeley and I are still debating over whether it’s going to be Mariano or Jonas.”
“Huh?” Kevin and Nick asked.
Joe chuckled. “The first time Key told me her full name, I said Cara Isabella Jonas, I like it. She snapped at me and asked if I had thoughts of marrying a 17 month old baby, because that was the only way she’d be a Jonas. Well, said argument has ensued a few times in the last couple of days, but I have a feeling, or hope, that one way or another, you’re looking at the newest addition to the Jonas family,” he explained.
“Um, why?” Nick asked confused.
Joe shrugged slightly, and explained, “Well, if Keeley proves to be an unfit mother, which is highly unlikely as she’s already gotten two bonus strikes somehow, Mom’s going to adopt Cara-”
“Really?” Kevin cut him off. “That’d be so cool.”
“Option two?” Nick asked impatiently. Joe looked away from the screen and his brother’s shared a look. “Joe?” Nick asked, less impatiently and more worried.
“You won’t believe me or you’ll laugh, or something,” Joe replied.
“Come on, Joey, tell us,” Kevin coaxed.
“Do you remember how I said there was this unexplainable connection between me and Keeley? How I’ve never felt like this before?” Joe asked. They nodded. “Well, I dunno. I just, have this image in my head… of me and her… you know…” he began mumbling towards the end.
Nick began laughing hysterically while Kevin looked at him oddly. Joe glared at Nick and ignored Kevin’s questions for clarification.
Nick, being the jerk that he can be, started singing, “There she goes again, the girl Joe’s in love with. It’s cool they’re just friends. They know it’s casual. It’s cool they’re just friends… He’s not leading her on. No. The truth is he’s grown fond. Yeah, Everyone knows it’s meant to be. Fallin’ in love just Joe and Key, ‘til the of time, ‘til he’s on her mind. It’ll happen. He’s been making lots of plans. Like a crib and a play pen.. He just keeps on dreaming. But it’s cool cause they’re just friends… If he had his way, they’d talk and talk all day. Yeah… Everyone knows it’s meant to be. Falling in love just Joe and Key, ‘til the end of time, ‘til he’s on her mind. It’ll happen. He’s been making lots of plans. Like a crib and a play pen. He just keeps on dreaming. But it’s cool cause they’re just friends. Thinking about how, they’re gonna say their vows. It’s cool, they’re just friends. She walks down the aisle, seeing his face smile, cause now they’re more than friends. Everyone knows it’s meant to be. Fallin’ in love, just Joe and Key, ‘til the end of time, the he’s on her mind. They’ve been making lots of plans, like a crib and a play pen. He’ll just keep on dreaming, just keep on thinking about how they used to be just friends…”
“You missed a few lines. But clever with the crib and play pen,” Kevin commented, trying to hold back his laughter and failing.
“Did you have to sing the whole song?” Joe asked, glaring at his younger brother. Despite the fact that he related to their old song quite well at the moment, he didn’t need it spelled out like that. Though, Joe did like the fact that he used Key instead of Keeley.
“I was going to stop after the first chorus… but Cara was getting really into it,” Nick nodded toward the baby hugging Jonas tightly and looking up at Joe with really big eyes.
“Ore?” she asked softly. “Pwease?”
“Oh, you did it now, Nick. We can‘t say no to a fan,” Kevin laughed.
Joe smiled down at her, kissing her curls again, forgetting that his brothers could see. However, neither missed the adoring look he had while he interacted with her. They could clearly see the change that took place in the brother over night. And, they decided, that wasn’t necessary a bad thing.
“Does she have a favorite song?” Kevin asked, picking up his guitar.
Joe smiled again, “That’s just the way we roll.”
“Ing! Ing!” Cara clapped excitedly.
They spent the rest of the time until dinner serenading the baby in Joe’s lap. She was the happiest Joe had seen her yet, which made him happy.
Keeley had felt bad about snapping at Nick on the phone, but he was out of line, and clearly wasn’t holding a grudge. She was, however, slightly nervous about the boys coming out in two weeks. When she voiced her fears to Denise, she dismissed them, claiming Nick to be a work-a-holic and that she’d yell at him later for her.
They made pleasant conversation while they made dinner. Keeley actually had to help a lot more tonight because they were cooking for so many people. She didn’t mind as she liked to cook.
“Joe was freaked about the whole Protestant-Catholic thing wasn’t he?” Keeley finally gained the nerve to asked Denise.
Denise paused what she was doing and looked at her. “Yes. He doesn’t have a problem with people of other faiths so long as they believe what they believe. He hates people who claim to be atheists and then say Oh my god every other sentence. And he’s dated girls who weren’t our brand of Protestant and I think he did date a Catholic girl once… but he’s never been serious about them. The religious conflict never effected him because it wasn’t a part of their relationship. But, a serious couple, the way Joe has dreams of you two having, religion is a big deal. You have to decide whether or not you’re willing to worship two different faiths or one is going to convert to the other. Sometimes, neither is an option and it makes things difficult. But I think it was a wake up call that there are things that Joe has to think about before he decides you’re the one and he’s going to marry you,” Denise explained as best she could.
“He thinks I’m the one?” Keeley asked with fear written all over her face.
“He thinks there is a strong possibility that you could be,” Denise amended. “Though I think he’s serious about wanting Cara to be a Jonas. I think he wants to adopt her himself if you don’t get custody of her.”
“Wow. I don’t know if I could handle knowing he had custody of my daughter and I didn’t,” Keeley admitted.
Denise smiled. “Well, I think he’s hoping that won’t be an issue.” She was just vague enough to not be direct, but Keeley caught her underlying meaning.
“Is it bad that I found myself totally considering converting if he asked me to?” Keeley asked, looking down at the pot she was stirring.
“Really?” Denise asked, mildly surprised.
“Well, I was really enjoying the service and thought that even though some of my views were a little different, I could easily convert without a problem. Then that little voice in the back of my head mentioned, if Joe asked me to. And I kinda had to agree with it.” She groaned, “Man, Denise, why is this happening to me? All I wanted to do was get custody of Cara. Not fall for someone so out of my league so quickly. It’s only been 4 days and I’m contemplating converting my religion for him! I mean, I’ve been think about branching out and seeing what other religions there are, but I seriously thought the words, if Joe asks me to.”
“Honestly, I have no idea. But, you’re not the only one falling. And at least you’re trying to stay levelheaded about it. As long as Cara remains your main priority, just let everything run it’s course,” Denise advised.
“That’s another reason why I like him so much. Cara doesn’t have to be my main priority by choice or by force. It’s natural… to both of us. He helped me get her dressed this morning. He changed her diaper while I picked out a dress. And he sings her to sleep. And right now he’s talking to his brothers on the webcam with her. He let her eat off of his plate at breakfast. Sometimes I really wonder if Amber didn’t lie to me and hook up with your son,” Keeley gushed.
“I highly doubt that. Joe’s the most serious about his vow, shockingly enough. Nick and Kevin both abide by it, but with Kevin’s age and Nick’s previous girlfriend, it’s very trying on them,” Denise answered smiling slightly.
Keeley shrugged. “I can tell. He doesn’t try to feel me up while we sleep,” she joked.
“He does act very fatherly towards her, though. He reminds me of Kevin Sr. when Kevin Jr. was born,” Denise smiled, thinking back 21 years. “I can’t believe my baby’s 21 already. It seems like just yesterday I was giving birth to Frankie and Kevin was only 15.”
“They grow up fast, huh?” Keeley asked, thinking of Cara.
“Right before your eyes,” Denise agreed. The door bell rang, interrupting the conversation. “Would you go get that? It‘s probably the Deleasa’s.”
Keeley nodded and went to answer the door.
When she opened it she was greeted by the Danielle in a friendly hug. “Hey, Keel,” she smiled.
“Hey,” Keeley replied to Danielle before turning to her parents. “Hello, I’m Keeley. I’m staying with Mrs. Jonas with my soon-to-be-daughter, Cara.”
“Yes, Denise informed us,” Mrs. Deleasa replied. “It’s very nice to meet you dear. I have to say I don’t know of too many teenage girls who would do what you are.”
“Though many would probably find it better to just give custody up to someone like Denise,” Mr. Deleasa commented.
Keeley bit her lip and refrained from commenting. It was quite evident that the two shared different opinions on the matter. “Well, Mrs. Jonas is in the kitchen, finishing up dinner. Danielle, Joe’s upstairs with Cara,” she said before turning to go back to the kitchen. Danielle followed her into the kitchen anyway though, as did her parents.
“Oh, you girls go bug Joe or talk and get to know each other,” Denise shooed them out of the kitchen. They smiled and headed upstairs.
They felt themselves grinning as they watched the impromptu concert that Cara was being given. She was dancing with Jonas as she sat in Joe’s lap still. Danielle walked up behind Joe and looked at the webcam. “Work my butt,” she teased Kevin.
“But… she asked…” Kevin pouted. Danielle smiled at him letting him know he was off the hook.
“Hi, Cara,” she smiled at the baby, who shied away into Joe’s stomach. “Aww, she’s so shy.” She knelt on the floor so she as eyelevel with Cara. “Do you like the Jonas Brothers, Cara ?” she asked. Cara nodded. Keeley sat on the bed and watched. “I like them, too. They’re fun aren’t they?” Cara nodded again. “Who’s your favorite?”
“Unca Ick,” Cara finally answer quietly, though they all heard.
Nick exclaimed, “Uncle Nick?” at the same time Joe exclaimed, “What?!”
“I thought I was your favorite, little one?” Joe pouted. Keeley shook her head no.
“Wuv you?” she asked looking up at him and smiling adorably.
“Why Uncle Nick?” Nick asked, referring to the use of Uncle in his name, but received a different answer.
“Ick ing bout On Kiwi ‘n’ Unca Oey,” Cara explained.
‘Joey?’ Keeley mouthed to Joe, who glanced at the screen as an explanation. Keeley stifled her laugh as best she could while Joe glared at her.
“What about Keeley and Joe?” Danielle asked. Joe’s eyes widen in panic as Nick and Kevin tried to contain their laughter.
“In wuv,” Cara answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She was still hiding close to Joe when she’d speak to Danielle, but Keeley was happy she was talking.
Joe winced when Keeley replied, “Uncle Nick did what?”
Kevin intervened for his brothers and explained, “Joe said you were just friends, and Nick started singing Just Friends: Joe and Keeley edition. He adlibbed a picket fence and a rose garden for a crib and a play pen.” He chuckled, “It was pretty impressive.”
“Is that how you ended up singing to her?” Danielle asked.
“Yup,” the three answered. “Nick’s fault,” Kevin and Joe added.
“Lucky you. Getting them to sing to you like that,” she continued trying to get Cara more comfortable with her.
“And this is why I love her,” Kevin commented gesturing to his girlfriend trying befriend the baby. Everyone smiled at him and Danielle winked.
“So, how did Nick become Uncle Nick?” Nick asked, again.
“Obviously, she’s comfortable with you,” Keeley rolled her eyes. “She doesn’t know any guys except Amber’s landlord. So, because she calls Joe Uncle Joe because she’s comfortable with her, she probably thinks that guys who she’s comfortable with are her ‘uncles’.”
“Oh. Okay,” Nick said, sounding slightly odd.
“I can correct her if it bothers you…” Keeley offered, not wanting Nick to feel weird.
“No! No, it’s fine. No, Uncle Nick’s cool,” he stammered as he shared a look with Kevin.
“Okay. Kevin, do you have a problem with it if she calls you uncle?” Keeley asked, while the subject was out there.
“Not at all. I’d be flattered,” he replied honestly.
Cara stood up in Joe’s lap and leaned up into his ear. Joe laughed as she whispered. He turned to Danielle. “She likes you, but she doesn’t know who you are so you still scare her,” he explained. “She doesn’t remember you really from earlier. She was probably in super shy mode.”
“That tends to happen,” Keeley added.
Danielle sat on the bed next to Joe and looked at Cara. “I’m Danielle, Kevin’s…” she looked at Keeley for the appropriate answer. Keeley shrugged. “Girlfriend. I’ve known your… uncles since they were little. We grew up together. Am I still scary?” she asked.
“Anwelle?” Cara asked skeptically almost. She turned to Joe again and whispered in his ear.
“Kevin, do love Danielle?” Joe asked chuckling.
“Yes, I do, Cara,” Kevin answered.
Cara nodded and finally faced Danielle head on. “Unca Evin wuvs you. Not scary,” she decided. Danielle smiled and giggled a little.
“She is precious. I want one. I mean, um, not really, but can I borrow her from time to time?” Danielle asked.
Keeley chuckled. “That would mean Joe would have to let go of her,” she teased.
“Oh, Danielle, I’m forcing Keeley to go shopping sometime this week. You wanna come?” Joe asked. “As much I’d love for it to be just me, her, and Cara, I know she’ll never trust my opinion.”
“Shopping with Joe Jonas… how can I resist?” Danielle smiled. She turned to Keeley, “Did you know he really likes to shop? You would not believe the number of times that my girlfriends would cancel on me and I’d take Joe shopping with me.”
“Again, I question your sexuality,” Keeley told Joe while the others laughed.
“Thanks, Danielle…” Joe scoffed.
“No problem, Joey,” she pinched his cheek.
“Kids! Dinner!” Denise called up the stairs.
The three older ones looked to the door and then back at the screen. “Time for dinner,” Joe said. “I’ll talk to you guys later. Cara, say bye.”
“Bye Unca Ick, bye Unca Evin,” she waved at the camera.
“Bye Cara,” they said together.
Keeley said goodbye as well, while Danielle told Kevin to call her later. Then the four made their way down to dinner.