Suffocated by the people and the place she grew up in, Avery thought university would be the chance to start anew. Enter Nick Jonas, the one anchor to everything Avery was trying to escape. Unfortunately for her, he's not a weight so easily removed.
It started out as a joke, telling each other how much they hated one another with 3 simple numbers: 1 4 3. That 4-letter word that she'd expressed to Nick so much was starting to change. It was starting to become a very different 4-letter word.
Previously featured story on JBFA 1.0, and winner of Best Comedy in JBFA awards 2013
Categories: Jonas Brothers, Jonas Brothers > Friendship, Jonas Brothers > Angst, Jonas Brothers > Drama, Jonas Brothers > Humor, Jonas Brothers > Romance
Characters: Nick Jonas, O/c Character
Chapters: 27 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 117088 Read Count: 13236
Date: 06/07/2020 Title: Chapter 1: Ch1
Dude, there are so many things I forgot since reading this story last.
I don't remember what Avery's mom looked like at all. That brief description in the beginning actually kind of threw me? I think because for some reason I've always pictured your mom as Avery's mom, LOL.
Reading this now, I keep finding myself wondering how much of Avery's college experience was based off/ended up being like yours (I know your author's note said you started this when you were 17 -- which, I can't even)? But, like the dorm room description, or how far the school was from home, or the bonfire/pep rally -- was that based off anything, or all you?
"Even if it didn't turn into anything, I'd still like to be his friend." -- Um, how did I not remember this line, or Avery's even fathoming possibly being a thing with Mark. Like, whaaaaaat? And then him being a Good Guy and already looking out for her. The whole, 'come on, sexy' thing had me grinning all over again (So I get it, Ave.)
I forgot how cold Avery was toward Nick in the beginning. And even though I know he's "dufus" and ends up earning that hostility through the pranks, in this chapter, I kind of felt bad for him? HA!
Reading this story now as an adult makes me so nostalgic. Can we go back and be kids like this again?
I feel so rusty with reviewing, christ.
Here's to hoping I can compete with my old reviews, (in a few chapters probs lol).
Love Navery. Love you.
I'm laughing right now because you're mentioning how you don't remember what Avery's mom looked like, and I'm just like: '...me either' lmao. I didn't even know I had given a description about her in this. You pick out some random things sometimes lmfao
There are a few select things that were based off of stuff from my uni experience. Really can't pinpoint a lot right now, but I'll try to remember them as they come up. At this point in the story, I was still in high school while writing it, BUT i had been to see my brothers' dorm rooms and heard a lot about what happens during frosh week and your first night at uni. So although, it's not based on my own experience, it was what I pictured what it was going to be like a few months later when I WOULD be experiencing it lol When reading/rereading this story i STILL picture the dorm rooms in my own dorm building - though slightly better haha The 'pep rally' was different - and not called a pep rally. We did have activities at the football field...in daylight but there was no bonfire and no milling around and drinking there. That would happen in the dorm rooms and still needed to be slightly discrete so we wouldn't get written up by the RAs lol
Oh for sure I put in that off-handed comment about Mark and Avery was solely because I chose that name because of my brother's good friend who I had off and on crushes on lol. Still know him, and no longer crush on him hahaha but he's super nice and hilarious! He's still completely his own character though. Like... in the other fanfic site i posted this to *wink wink, cough cough* the dude who took over Mark's character (the one starting with an 'N') - I thought - really worked rather perfectly. It feels taboo for me to talk about that here LMFAO
Avery being cold to Nick is literally just exactly how I felt towards the dude I based Nick off of. Like... I hated him. everything in the first chapter about Nick is the absolute truth. He did have newspaper articles about him, his mom was the guidance counsellor, teachers did blatantly fawn over him in front of us, he did know one of my marks before I did.... it pissed me right off and I let that out in this story ;) especially the beginning haha
Yes, PLEASE, let's be kids again.
Your reviews give me life. Your author's responses to mine do too if I'm being honest haha
Love you!!!! Navery loves you too. And Jogan.
You do NOT have to review. This is silly. I could just send you the full story.
Date: 06/07/2020 Title: Chapter 2: Ch2
Jesuuuuus, the nostalgia. Not just for this story, but uni in general. That beginning mention of Avery not feeling comfortable enough to walk around the dorm in her pajamas triggered allll the throwbacks.
Even though I know it never gets romantic between Nick and Daphne, when she walked in with him, my stomach got so tense with...dislike? I dunno, just that gut-wrench that them flirting/being a thing was even implied. No me gusta.
"Daphne had definitely lied when she said that this was her favourite movie because she wasn't even paying attention" <-- I don't know why, but this line made me laugh out loud. This is honestly such a pet peeve of mine, lol. Like, what's the point of watching something together if only one person is actually paying attention?
"So you're here to get a degree in business...what else should I know about you?" / Nothing, I wanted to say. He doesn't need to know anything about me. <-- I really like the way this is written for some reason? It's such a simple exchange, but it just reads so...well.
How could I not remember that it was Nick who started the 143-thing?! HOW?! *exploding head emoji*
During their whole bickering part, I couldn't keep myself from grinning. I didn't realize how much I actually missed them being little shits.
Again, love Navery -- but I love you more!
I still never felt comfortable wearing pajamas in public. Except for that one time I woke up with literally 10 mins to get to my final exam lmao. I was a great (read: the absolute worst) student in uni lmao
I feel like it was really common with people in my dorm building (especially in the first couple weeks) that if you ran into someone on campus and you were both heading back to the dorms, you'd both just kinda follow one another to talk and hang out a bit because we were trying to make friends. That's what I pictured happening with Nick and Daphne here. But implying things in a story like this is - you know - just all part of its charm haha
Watching a movie with someone and them not pay attention is also my pet peeve. Or like... when my brother insists on us watching some show and then stares at his phone. Like i could be watching what i want to!!! ugh.
LMAO. Okay. so you picked out the line about her not wanting him to know any more about her, and you liked the way it was written. I grinned so hard. But like... then i went back to find that part in the story and the rest of that paragraph is a big ole mess lmfao. But thank you, though. I'll always be my worst critic.
haha yeah Nick started it. Mostly because he sees the joking side to it, and is already determined to get under her skin. He thinks it's funny. Stealing her phone and getting her number that way is so... immature lol Referring to these two as 'little shits' is so SO accurate.
Oh God. I forgot how much I loved reading your reviews. THANK YOU!
Date: 06/07/2020 Title: Chapter 3: Ch3
I am cackling. Okay, right off the bat, Avery complaining about living on the third floor had me rolling. I lived on the 12th floor my freshman/sophomore year of uni -- do you know how much that BLOWS during fire drills? (Also, I'm sitting here trying to remember if I've ever told you that before?)
closed his flip phone -- Amanda, I am dying. I don't even know why, but this just...*wheezes*
BRUHHHHHHH. I totally pictured Tyler from Vampire Diaries the moment you described his hair(?), and now I can't uncorrelate them. THIS IS YOUR FAULT.
He just had to sit beside me in every one of those lectures. -- YESSS. The "middle school"-like flirting. XD (I am actually loling because I don't know the last time I used that emoticon. That's what they're called, right?)
Avery's like genuine fear that Tyler was gonna kiss her made me lol because that seems like the opposite of you now? (How many people can say they kissed a stranger in a pub in Ireland, I mean, come on.) But also, I FUCKING FORGOT THAT WAS A SEGWAY INTO A PRANK. You genuinely got me, again.
"Hey Avery!" I heard being yelled from one of the fourth floor balconies above my head, most likely where the water had been poured onto little, unsuspecting me. I looked up to the perpetrator with a glare, and I nearly let out a growl when I saw who it was. "One four three, baby!" -- That's a lot, I know -- but when I tell you that I grinned. I grinned, like shit-eating.
It's strange reading our collab, and then coming back to the beginning of Navery. Like, they seem so widdle here. Avery is ruthless, lol. We've talked about this already, but I don't remember most of the pranks, so this is genuinely fun to read again.
Love Dickolas. Love Avery. Love you.
(PS. I had to legitimately force myself to stop reading halfway so that I would finally fold my laundry, lol. I had to force myself.)
I think I sort of remember you living on a higher floor. I lived in the fucking basement for crying out loud haha We called ourselves dungeon dwellers haha. There were fire doors right outside the doors of our dorm room that led outside but you weren't supposed to use them (obviously). We used them ALL the time. and would often prop them open with a rock when we knew someone was coming over. It was also a way to sneak people into the dorm building without having to sign them in at the desk. It was fucking annoying to have to climb upstairs just to go out the door to class so we obviously never did and used these forbidden doors all day everyday. Turns out the university put alarms on them the year after we moved out. We were the last to use and abuse them hahaha.
On a similar note, you mentioning fire drills. GOD. We had so many of them. After the first couple months we legit would sometimes close all of our blinds, shut the inner doors and wait them out so we wouldn't have to go outside at 2 in the morning in the middle of a fucking snowstorm haha.
I'm still giggling about the flip phone. I haven't changed much in this. I won't change this because I want it to follow the timeline. Like... Nick is 18 here, and people still had flip phones when Nick Jonas was 18. So it is what it is, but it's so funny to think about how things like that change.
Tyler was a name I chose because of an NHL player who I had a huge crush on. So huge that family members and friends literally referred to him as my boyfriend. I referred to him as boyfriend too lmao. Ugh he was SO hot. He's a happily married man with like 3 kids now and a Stanley cup but i still love him haha. But yeah, that's who I based Tyler's features off of. He's kinda like Tyler from Vampire Diaries so I get that. (literally watching right now and that hottie is on screen as I type this lol)
Middle-school like flirting. GENIUS way to put it. And another instance where these two show off their immaturity towards one another. Okay, but i FEEL you when you mentioned using the 'XD' emoticon thingy because I've been feeling the same way! When writing reviews for you or responding to my own, I use them and i'm just like... 'whoa 2008 flashback' haha!
DON'T GO SPREADING THAT AROUND KARISSA! You can't just lay out my past like that LMFAO. Yes i kissed a stranger in Ireland...and chicago, and Vietnam BUT that doesn't mean I don't still feel the way Avery was here. Like last summer I had this fear with the first dude i dated... the one who always talked about drinking if you remember him. I knew he'd try to kiss me and I tried to like run for it (it didn't work) but I felt like she did here.
This was honestly probably the best prank in the whole story. It was carried out SO flawlessly. And like I can actually picture it happening. I laughed out loud when you had the moment of realization that the almost kiss Tyler moment was the whole set up. Gotcha! (Well... 17/18 yr old Amanda got you lmao)
I call them immature, you call them 'so widdle' lmfao but both are so accurate!
Thanks for reviewing and rereading. It's hilarious to hear your thoughts. Some of them match mine when I reread my own fucking story hahaha
LOVE YOU! and good job finishing your laundry.
Date: 06/07/2020 Title: Chapter 4: Ch4
Your Shadows promotion has been insane. What did I do to deserve such a supportive BFF? *cries* Seriously though, thank you. It means a lot to me. <3
Okay, review time:
"Fuck off." / "Maybe later." -- I still die. Just, the whole beginning bickering part was entertaining. The fact that some random dude in their lecture even commented on it was the cherry on top.
"She doesn't think I'm sleeping with randoms. She knows that they're yours." -- I CAN'T.
"...and explaining to my brother that, no, he couldn't see a picture of you." -- (Honestly, this review is probably just going to be lines that made me laugh out loud). At this point, I don't think he was supposed to be Relapse Joe (right?), but it still made me snort with laughter. I feel like this is such a "guy thing", lol.
"That's my brother," Nick spoke from his spot on the bed, "he loved your prank." / His brother nodded at me, keeping the smirk on his face. -- WHY IN THE FUCK AM I GRINNING SO HARD. Just the mention of Joe and it happened. I dunno, Bromances are such a fave trope for me though.
BLONDIE!! Gah, I can't unassociate that with the collab now. Like, I know it originated in 143, obvs, but I feel like Jogan took ownership of it in the collab haha.
It's endearing how evident it is that their relationship is changing, and everyone sees it but Stubborn AF Avery, lol. And in regards to whether or not Avery's prank was too cruel -- no. I still think Tyler/Nick's water prank was the most...brutal? So far, at least.
I'm so glad you're reposting this story - it's been such a welcome distraction from everything going on right now!
Lol... the promotion. What the fuck else would I do? If I read something awesome I'm obviously going to tell other people to go read it! Then they'll understand the difference between fluffy high schooler writing (143) and legitimately great story-telling (anything you put out ;) haha)
I really wish I knew where I was when I posted this chapter. Like was I already in university? Because this bickering... well not necessarily this flirty or innuendo driven, but the relentless teasing and annoying sort of reminds me of my friendship with the guy in uni. You used to think I'd date him, but I didn't. We were good friends though (like good friends but always annoying each other), and it was my roommate who dated him. Then when they broke up we never really saw him again. Kinda sucked. That happened with another dude she dated before him too. We were friends with the other dude as he lived a floor above us (actually both of these guys did) and we'd party with them all the time. She dated them and then boom. No more hang outs or anything. I do have the dude on facebook and instagram though. Coincidence, but it's his birthday today and i posted on his FB wall for it .
Nick's mom in this was more lenient than mine would ever be lmao. Finding underwear in the bed?!? That'd never go down smoothly. Although lucky for Avery she doesn't actually see his mom in person after this incident because that would be embarrassing.
He was not Relapse Joe here. He was definitely just doing the 'guy thing'. But it's hilarious that people used to come back to this moment and compare it. Like I don't even know that Relapse Joe was a thing when this chapter was posted! Maybe, but the collab definitely hadn't even been thought of yet! I loved every second of it though. Let's be fucking honest here, the collab and Relapse Joe is what made this story even slightly suspenseful for people to read. Because they had a hard time differentiating between the Joe's after that and I made Jersey a whole big thing because of it. I used you. lmfao. I used the FUCK out of you and your character. I'm sorry.
Okay so I gotta be real with you here. I changed it so he would call Avery blondie hahaha. I don't remember what it was that I changed it from, but blondie fit so much better and I'd just read the collab and it just NEEDED to be in here so I changed it lmao. I'm using you again!!! So no, I don't actually think it DID originate in 143. If it did, it was probably just Nick calling her that. I need to go see. Okay i checked. It only appears once in 143 lmfao. And it wasn't even Nick who called her that! So yeah, it's definitely a Jogan thing that I just maybe accidentally unhinged the balance of the stories with by putting it in this chapter! whoops?
Well at least their relationship is starting to slightly change. I have a feeling they do a LOT of forwards and backwards with this though. So don't get caught up in that too quickly. They're bound to ruin it lol
Happy to be a distraction! That's definitely what I'm using this site for too.
Date: 06/08/2020 Title: Chapter 5: Ch5
AMANDA, another pimping of my story?? <33
You were right about this being a tame chapter, but that's okay, because it was good for my heart and made me feel all the feels, lol.
"If you join us, I just might give you back your underwear." -- I dunno why, but this is kinda hot? Like, obviously he's being a shit, but if someone said that to me? XD
The fact that Nick pretended his mom was there, and it was him and Joe instead made me laugh (and grin like the teenage fangirl I still internally am). Manderzz, for real. Your comedic timing is ace. Why the FUCK ARE YOU NOT WRITING.
You know I'm a Joe Hoe through and through, but damn, Nick's uncharacteristic nervousness at the diner was so endearing. He was more Nick than Dick in this chapter.
(How many chapters are there again? Don't they end up taking a while to actually go on aforementioned "date"?)
LOVE Navery. LOVE you.
(PS. I'm snickering at the irony of you promoting my heavy-ass story in your lighthearted, adorable one.)
I won't stop the pimping. And now I have another of yours to pimp so be prepared for that.
SO TAME. I mean... stuff happens to set up things for later buuuuuuut their banter is much tamer here and it's almost giving readers false hope of them becoming cute hahaha
If someone said that to you.... who's taking your underwear?! HAHA I liked it better near the end where Avery makes a condition for Nick's proposal of dinner. I can literally hear her whisper yelling in his ear: "My one condition is that you give me my fucking underwear back!" I probably didn't describe it right but i can hear it when I read it lol Packs a punch.
This whole site coming back and me watching the documentaries and concert videos has had me turn into the teenage fangirl all over again and I am living for it. It's probably because I want to go back to that simpler time, but STILL! As i say this watching Damon Salvatore on my TV.......... okay wow. I want to be a teenager again so i can fawn like i did back then.
My comedic timing was ace. was. past tense. I don't know how to do it anymore D: Not that I've tried but like... it scares me! I want to try but ... I don't know what else to say other than 'it's scary'
Nick is actually often more Nick than Dick. Or he was in my mind when I think back. I think Avery blows things out of proportion a lot. He has his moments but she's just a bitch. lmao
I had to actually go check how many chapters it is. There's 27. I remember I'd origially planned for 30 but things just didn't end up that way. I always am scared that I rushed things at the end or didn't tie everything up. Or just wrote it so haphazardly that people weren't satisfied? Though i was NEVER satisfied with any of my stories endings so (insert shrugging emoji here).
But yeah the next chapter starts 2 weeks from when this chapter was... so it'll take a while for things to... proceed, if you will ;). I almost don't want to say too much because i don't know how much you actually remember haha It's super exciting seeing your reactions again though!!
Date: 06/26/2020 Title: Chapter 6: Ch6
Okay, first, I wanna start by saying: THAT BANNER. Gross. I don’t know that I have that banner saved anywhere, and I’m honestly glad bc I can so clearly tell that it was made when I was first starting-ish. *cringes into infinity*
“The dude is hooked” ← That in regards to Nick and Avery’s rivalmance gives me all the feels. Especially if it’s enough to be noted by another guy friend.
he's hooked on phonics is what he is ← DUDE. Does Gen Z even know what this is, or were we the last generation to use this? (Note: I googled it, and it’s still a thing, apparently, but do that many people use it bc I swear your story is the most “recent” time I’ve even heard it referenced lmao).
THE PANTY-NAPPING BEGINS. In hindsight, like knowing how expensive nice underwear is, I’d be way more pissed at that little undie-klepto. Like, what is even doing with them? Where is he hiding them? Does he just have like a little shoebox of Avery’s underwear? (Also, I was being a smartass, but I’m now cackling at that mental image.)
I love how everyone at this point is so cavalier about Nick and Avery’s prank war. Like I get that it’s uni, and these sorts of shenanigans happen, but the fact that none of their friends even are phased by like, Avery running into the room looking like a tomato? LMFAO.
He began darting his eyes around the room again just as he had done earlier, and he pulled his arm from around me when his eyes focused on something behind me. I turned around to see what he was looking at and grinned when I saw Nick... ← The most guilty behavior ever. Like, if you’re gonna make a move Tyler, don’t do it in secret like a backstabbing pos, ya know? I have no probs with a Love Triangle, but him being hands-off when Nick’s around and then hands-on when he’s not? Not cool, bro.
I love it almost as much as I love you. ← Yeah, yeah “sarcasm”. But like, for real, the fact that he said “I love you” to her at all out loud. I’d be overthinking the shit outta that, not just laughing. Fricken’ Avery lol.
Also, I know Friends is a generally massive pop culture thing, but I def associate it most with you haha. (It’s kind of ironic bc this was like your “binge” show in uni (about “adults), and now as an adult, your binge show is TVD (about “HS” kids) -- which also, why they casting hot ass 20-something’s to play high schoolers?! We didn’t look like that in high school! lmfao.)
Sorry for the tangent.
All this is to say, “Navery 4 eva”. <33
(Okay gonna try and play catch up now).
LOVE YOU. Love Navery. (Tyler is in timeout).
(PS. Also snickering bc I’m so far behind on 143 that the two stories you’ve recommended in this chapter, I’ve since taken down. And I oop! But I love my Supportive Queen. <33)
Wow okay so I did this wrong. I just responded to you ch10 review and now I'm going back to respond to this one on ch6 lol
The banner is so nostalgic though! I have another one too that I think I posted at the top of ch14 LOL
You just picked that line because it's your favourite character saying it :P But really, going back to look at ch6 I realize how Mark and Daphne really haven't been all that present in more recent chapters, but here they are! being their nice teasing selves for Avery's benefit lol
I doubt Gen Z know what hooked on phonics is but that's the thing about this story! I am NOT changing it to suit a more modern day feel. It was written and posted in the early 2010s and it's meant to be set in the early 2010s. It is what it is ;)
omg. "Panty-napping". am i the only one who thinks back on this prank I made up and just facepalms? What a CREEP! It's so... gross lmao Honestly.. you mentioning him having to hide them... I almost want to say that he might keep them on his person because he knows Avery has access to his dorm room and he doesn't want her to find them and take them back! LMAO imagine!!! Nick just strolling around campus with his bookbag and a little pocket on it full of panties. I'm cackling!
The pranks were definitely a thing for this friend group. A thing that started out with everyone involved and turned into just a Navery thing. Navery didn't even mind the rest of the group getting off, they just wanted to annoy each other anyway lol
OKAY so I've been waiting to say this ever since I first read this review (and the others) but you calling Tyler a backstabbing POS and probably other names in later chapters.... I'm DYING because... you know that you freaking loved Tyler back when this was first written, right? LMFAO I remember you always being on his side and me being all ugh about it because obviously he's not Nick or whatever and you couldn't help to like him, but NOW here we are and you very much DISlike him. I love it. It's like a whole new reaction because your feelings are so changed from last time around!
Avery letting the sarcastic I love you pass right by her is very... her. She's a dumbass remember?! Seriously in ch16/ch17 she learns how much of a dumbass she is and I live for it haha
I still watch Friends. Almost everyday. It's just the go to when i need background noise or just something to kill a quick 20 mins lol It's still on Canadian Netflix . I binged TVD in uni too though! Up until like ... season 6 at least. I'm just... never growing up I guess haha I was a fucking troll in high school and here I am watching Elena Gilbert and Caroline Forbes be all freaking pretty/sexy as 17 yr olds. ugh. lol
Thanks for all the love! Always love your reviews. And you. so much.
your supportive queen
Date: 06/26/2020 Title: Chapter 7: Ch7
This chapter made me super nostalgic for actually doing stuff on Halloween? This is one of those instances that I’m envious your roommates were so social and encouraged you to get out an experience these things lololol.
the backpack that was supposed to be a turtle shell, but really it contained the beers he would be drinking tonight ← I know this is supposed to be like a “funny” costume, but this is actually ingenious? Lmfao.
It was kind of revolting, but, for some reason, I think that's what he was going for. ← Picturing Nick being this much of a troll, to the point of trying to make himself look unattractive? *snickers*
I bit my lip, seeing Nick's eyes locked on my face with a subtle smirk etched on his lips. He'd been so quiet since Daphne opened that door, and now I knew why. ← The fact that the immediate next line is Avery assuming it’s bc Nick is enjoying her discomfort, LOL. I mean, I’m sure that’s a little of it, but he’s a guy that’s into her. That’s not why he’s looking, Ave.
(Also, how come Daphne and Tara ended up coordinating outfits, but didn’t include Avery? Or like, AVERY and Daphne match? How rude. No, but really, I don’t know why that thought had never occurred to me before lol).
Tyler not recognizing Avery made me facepalm for him, lol. Although, the two of them reaching to help Avery at the same time immediately had me smirking. I went on a tangent in the last review about not liking Tyler making moves behind Nick’s back, but if they’re both there, I feel like it’s fair game. *smirking emoji*
The entire party scene, I couldn’t help but actually picture you and your roommates, lol. (Reality just struck me with how old we are/this story is bc I just remembered you telling me your roommate, E, is pregnant. BRUH.)
...I wish you could see my face when I read Tara’s “look there’s Nick” line. I get it, she’s Ave’s friend, and Avery is “cool” with it or whatever. But, GIRL. NO. BACK. AWAY. SLOWLY.
it wasn't until Nick quickly stepped forward and grabbed me by waist to pull me to his side, that I saw it was a guy who was barrelling down the hallway on a skateboard. ← Holy shit. This just unlocked a memory for me. I remember walking back to my dorm after a lecture and I had my headphones in, and right in front of my building, I got fucking nailed from behind (cackling bc that’s the worst wording) by a dude on a long board. It had hit me directly like in the achilles/ankles, and I’d like lurched forward but I don’t think I fell completely? ANYWAY. There hadn’t been anything cute about that moment. I WISH NICK HAD BEEN THERE FOR ME WTF.
I just wish I had a Dickolas to actually be sweet and take care of me, (though I probably wouldn’t be drunk, I’d be something else lol).
What part of this chapter was actually based off your RL?
My love for Navery is only growing stronger. (Also, GO TO YOUR CORNERS TARA AND TYLER).
K, love you, bye.
(Also, thanks for the Relapse shout out! You are everything.)
Halloween is the bomb. It's really depressing when I can't find somewhere to dress up for it. Halloween parties are so fun! Just to see what everyone dresses up as!
I feel like I definitely remember seeing some TMNT with backpacks full of beer made into their turtle shells haha Wasn't my idea alone :P
Nick dressing up as a nerd... i feel like I just had a flashback of when Nick Jonas was on some show where they disguise celebrities and put them in random stores and shit to see if people will recognize them. Nick was dressed in a button up plaid shirt with glasses on or something and this is what I picture him as in this chapter haha
Nick smirking at her in her costume. hah yes he's smirking because he's totally checking her out, but he's also smirking because he immediately knows it's her whereas Tyler is stupid and doesn't recognize her haha He'll take any victory he can get the competitive MOFO
lol I feel like the only reason I didn't have Avery match with Daphne and Tara was because I wanted her to be unrecognizable in a wig. Why the FUCK i chose Lady Gaga though??????? seriously. lmfao
See now I feel like you DON'T hate Tyler here... if only for the purpose of urging Nick on to making more moves on Avery haha. He serves his purpose well!
I totally pictured one of the other dorm buildings at my university that I didn't live in when picturing this scene. It's crazy to think of the random moments I get back from reading this. Also... the part with Tara and Avery teasing her about touching Nick or whatever.... lmao actually happened. I stood next to Nick inspiration dude at prom party and did this exact thing to erika I think, who thought he was hot lmfao
AHA! I love that this story somehow unlocked a memory for YOU! Glad it's not only me having all these flashbacks haha but also, that sounds awful? I'm glad you didn't actually fall! Sounds like it would've been painful. Nick must've been there in spirit haha
Your love for Navery is growing... slowly. Just how I intended it. lol
Love you and your stellar reviews!
Date: 07/16/2020 Title: Chapter 8: Ch8
Oh my goddddddd. “You love candy too much to have lived ‘healthy' all your life.” ← I forgot how bad your sweet tooth was!!
Whenever I read about the girls in this story (Daph/Tara, etc) I can’t help but think of your roommates, lol.
"‘Honey, I'm home! I've got a surprise for you!' ← BRUH. If I got that text from Nick, I would not be scowling lolol. (Yeah, yeah, I know, you didn’t remotely feel this way about the real guy). Still. STOP FIGHTING IT AND KISS, AVERY. *Shia voice* JUST DO IT.
He didn't even have many real friends," I continued in a much calmer tone, "like, despite his popularity, no one really knew him. ← This made me feel really bad for him?? Like, I don’t remember actually pitying him like this the first time around? I was blinded by Avery’s hate, lmfao.
Where are you? I checked your room but no one is home. Sad face ← AGAIN. Nick being a fucking cutie and Avery hating it. XD Just read the next line and what Tara said about it being ‘precious’ and I cackled. SAME, girl. And then Ave mentioning Tyler and them rolling their eyes. SAME SAME SAME.
Avery just outright calling Nick ‘dickhead’ and him not even being fazed made me laugh so hard I put my head on the table. Those two shits. Smh. ALSO, them having keys to each other’s rooms? And napping together? HMMMMMM?! GIRL. How you gonna claim you hate him.
"Looks like my first surprise is here," Nick chuckled, ← That smug fuck. I COMPLETELY forgot about this part, jfc. I’m DYING. I would probs actually die if that had happened to me.
...just got to the Daphne part and my grin instantly went away. First off, SHE SHOULD KNOW BETTER! Why would you instantly think so little of your roommate when you KNOW the shit she’s got going on with Dickolas? ALSO, you KNOW Avery’s not like that. JFC. Second, the Tyler thing and him ‘not enjoying’ finding her underwear in his bed? Yeah right. How you gonna flirt with her to her face, and then diss her behind her back, dickhead.
And then Nick having the nerve to keep sitting there after Daphne blew up on her, and not explain that it was him? WTF, DICKOLAS?! I would’ve instantly kicked his ass out of my room.
I’m going Mama Bear right now. Don’t you FUCK with Avery.
Ooooooh, I just...fndljkfsdhlkjfvhdljfcas. Fucking Dickolas.
I don’t have anything else to say, I’m too mad. K BYE.
I still love sweets though it feels downplayed. Well not yesterday :P I told you i ate literally everything sweet in sight
LOL the girls are definitely like my roommates but for some reason - specifically Tara - after writing this in the other fandom i can only picture Jade Thirlwall as Tara! haha so weird. It still astonishes me how it fit fucking perfectly into that fandom. like perfect amount of characters and kinda their personalities. weird.
Okay but everyone knows that the surprise Nick has waiting for Avery is NOT something nice. So her scowl is warranted. Though the first part of that text you could argue.
Nick had friends, Avery just... didn't really ever see that side of him. She really only ever saw him at school, and Nick wasn't huge on hanging out with people in the hallways and whatnot. We learn later that they actually had mutual friends, so don't be too sorry for him lol
Literally, Daphne, Mark and Tara are meant to be the voices of reason. Also sort of turned into the voices of the readers lol They're always trying to smack some sense into Avery the way that the readers (and I) want to haha
Honestly, how often does Avery actually call Nick by his name? 9/10 times it's dufus or some other rude name haha She's just trying to annoy him as much as he annoys her!
I love that you forgot about this panty part too! Shit son. The surprises are just still so real haha
Come on, now Daphne only had a limited bit of the evidence for the panties and her and Erik are still new so she's obviously just letting her initial emotions blind her from reason about it. I felt like the Tyler comment Daphne said was likely more to try to hurt Avery back a little bit. Who knows if he actually said it. .... I - the writer - should know but I can't make a decision haha
Nick had NO IDEA what the fuck he was doing. He didn't think this prank would turn out as badly as it did... becuase he's a dumb boy who doesn't think things all the way through. Keep that in mind later haha
LOVE the review, and love your emotions!!
Date: 07/16/2020 Title: Chapter 9: Ch9
Right off the bat, Avery’s mom calling her ‘baby’ put a smile on my face. I know she hated it, but my mom calls me that all the time, and I just warmed my heart. Especially right after reading the last chapter. *glowers*
Also, when her mom was mentioning how lonely she was, it made me realize there hasn’t been any mention of her dad?? Like, was that ever something that was elaborated on? I don’t know how I never thought of that/paid attention to that before. (Or am I just dumb?)
The things she had said to me the night prior weren't something one changed their mind about easily. ← Avery being more concerned about how Daphne feels than how terribly Daphne treated her just...smh. I would be hella bitter if I were Avery. That was it? What the fuck? ← SAME, Avery. Daphne saying that she ‘kind of knew’ Avery didn’t do it. Like, what the actual fuck then, Daph?!. Rude, rude, rude. *huffs angrily*
Nick knew how to push my buttons, sure, but he pushed the wrong fucking button. ← I really, really like this line? Even if I don’t agree with what she’s doing because of it?
No one can imagine how fucking dirty I felt when I heard the whistles coming from a group of guys I had to pass on my way to the library. They even had the nerve to ask me for another pair of panties. ← They’re trash, but also, it’s kind of a compliment that so many people are aware of who Avery is though? I dunno, I’m conflicted.
“It says that I'm failing three of my classes, and that they're going to put me on academic probation.” ← Holy shit, this hit me like a suckerpunch. Like, I know Avery did it and he’s not really failing, but JFC, this just unlocked a personal memory. I was technically on academic probation right before I dropped out, so I know how gut-wrenching that is. Especially as a perfectionist. Jesus. I completely forgot about that.
Anyway, I completely forgot about Nick’s family (read: his dad and Kevin / Joe dropping out of business) and the company?? Like, what? I had just completely forgotten he came from money, period. I appreciate the distraction from my rage at these two knuckleheads though, lmfao.
I know I should have been paying more attention in class, but all I could focus on was you! / It seems like whenever you're around, my heart beats a little faster ← Way to fuck with my heart, Amanda. Jesus. Me feeling all sorts of bad for Nick, and then these cute little heart-wrenches, and ugh. You suck.
Nick did handle it like a champ though. And then this: He leaned in, touching my chin lightly with his fingers to hold my head in place and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. ← BE STILL MY HEART. How, after all these years, am I still a fluttery, grinning mess? (I AM LITERALLY A DECADE OLDER THAN THESE TWO. WHAT THE FUCK. *BARF BARF*)
Love to love/hate these two fucks. And you, you fuck. LMFAO.
I love how i have the exact same reaction as Avery to her mom calling her baby, and you have like the complete opposite reaction haha. I cringe, you coo haha
Her dad IS mentioned. Just not until ch13. Avery opens up a tiny bit more and we do learn about her family. So you're not crazy.
Oh come on now, we knew Daphne would realize when her emotions calmed down after the initial shock. Daphne's too much of a bubbly person to stay mad with Avery anyway. She likes to take her under her wing, and she needs to be there to guide her sometimes too.
How do you not agree with what she's doing? Like i said last chapter response, Nick didn't think his prank through.. Avery on the other hand has totally thought it all through. She knows what she's doing and all she wanted was to get a reaction from him. In my opinion, I don't even think she did the revenge justice haha But she does continue to pester him and push his buttons too so *shrug*
Word travels fast in a dorm room! haha The people cat calling her obviously know someone who knows someone who got a pair of undies haha
I don't think I ever was on academic probation (fucking close to it though) but this just goes to show you how FUCKING TERRIFIED i was over it lmfao. I'm a perfectionist too and that... would have ended me. I remember I considered dropping out in 2nd year, but then decided to do my degree in 5 yrs instead. Fucking fabulous decision. Still don't know how I fucking faked it til I made it but it was fantastic to spread it out haha
Yes we learned more about Nick's family in this chapter, so it's only fair that we will soon learn more about Avery's ;)
Nick drops some LINES doesn't he?! Talking about not being able to focus around Avery and shit. What a little stud haha
This story is so fluffy, I'm glad it makes you flutter haha. They're so so mean, but so so cute at the same time. sometimes haha
Love to read you yelling at me/my characters about making you feel things! :P
Date: 07/16/2020 Title: Chapter 10: Ch10
I hated him with a passion in high school, but now - well - now I didn't know what to make of him. / Instead of scowling at the back of his head every time I walked past him, I was usually the one walking beside him, laughing and talking animatedly with him. ← Look at the progress. It only took ten chapters. XD
"Aww, Ave. Thanks, bud." He said, keeping the stupid smirk on his face. ← The stupid grin on my face. Smh. Such a troll. (Also, Avery then proceeding to sleep for the entire six hour ride? HOW? Must be nice. Fuck motion-sickness, lmfao).
I froze, watching as his hand came up to brush a loose strand out of my eyes, and then continue speaking casually as if nothing had happened ← I CANNOT. It’s not even that far into the chapter yet, and I’m already quoting up a storm. And then, and then, and then him being all shy when he asked her out?? STOP BEING CUTE, Navery.
Doug...didn’t you guys have a cat (or two)? Like, you and your roommates? I completely forgot their (?) names though? For real. 143 is making me hella fucking nostalgic, and unlocking a ton of memories lmfao.
It was few moments later before she finally replied. "That's cute." ← Maybe it’s just me getting older, but I have so much more appreciation for Avery’s mom this time around. Like, she’s one of the most underrated characters? (Just like you with Will -- what is happening to us? lmfao)
Okay, there was finally another mention of Mark in this chapter. I kept forgetting to mention it in the last two reviews, but WHERE’S MY BOY?! XD
Avery playing “video games” LOL. The Sims don’t count!! (*cackles* bc what a stupid thing to be a snob about). Seriously though, the whole scene/description of Avery’s first day home, I straight up just pictured you, lol. Jesus. This is making me realize how long/well we actually know each other haha.
Seriously, though, when are you getting it on - I mean getting together with our dear Nicholas? ← I just started laughing manically bc I can’t remember Navery really getting that physical? But now I want to write them getting it on, just to selfishly make it happen. LMFAOLMFAOLMFAO.
FUCKING SHIT. I forgot that Avery stood him up. WTF. I was actually glad that he tracked her ass down?? (And then her realizing that he’d dressed up. My lower lip is legit protruding. Poor BB.
I absolutely hate how you always resort back to the way things were in fucking high school! It's done, Avery! Get over it. ← YIKES. But also, same? And then with this line: He suddenly brought his hands up to grab onto both sides of my face, and made me face him once again ← I dunno how she didn’t just straight up kiss him right then. What a fool.
Goddamn these two punk-asses and playing with my feels. Gah.
Love them and you anyway. *siiiiiiigh*
PS. fan-fucking-tastic take on a huge super-douche Joe ← made me laugh. Thank you, as always, for your constant pimping of my story.
LMAO yes! Nick and Avery have progress 10 chapters in. I'm laughing because you more often than not are queen of multi-chapter stories and/or keeping the stories under like 15 chapters, and you even suggested that my next story idea I shared with you could be like 10 chapters... and here I am... always thinking like 20-30 chapters! haha. SO yes... because I stretch stories out/plan them to be 20+ chapters the progress doesn't happen until 10 chapters in XD
I do really like that line you picked out though. Sometimes when I reread the chapters I'm all like - wtf Amanda, you wanted it to flow so nicely and be subtle but apparent about the progress through the chapters and it's not, but then I find the lines like this one and I'm happier about it because I DO see what I was trying to do there lol. It happens more in the next few chapters. It's more the stuff that is kinda in Nick's head so it's hard to pinpoint and pick out the lines that actually reveal some of that stuff because it's all in Avery's POV
Well obviously I'm sure Avery already knew Nick would try to sit with her on the bus. So Nick had to tease her a little about it lol Also now that you bring up the 6 hour nap she had...likely not possible haha I think i could probably sleep for 1-2 hours but probably not on a public bus. I just hate sleeping in public lol I can't imagine having to travel this way if you get motion sickness though!
And then, and then, and then him being all shy when he asked her out?? STOP BEING CUTE, Navery. - LMAO they are kinda cute sometimes, but reading this line brought me back to the movie Dude, Where's My Car? when Ashton Kutcher is ordering chinese food and the restaurant keeps going: "and theeeeeeeeenn" SO fucking random, but i'm still laughing
143 makes me SOOOOO nostalgic too! I included the stupidest tiniest little teensiest things in this story that I experienced in real life and when I read them it just brings me right back hahaha. The cats names were Frank and Gunther btw lol. But i think I wrote this before them... I also had a cat named Kevin probably at this time so I was already into these kind of pet names lol. My little cousin's cat is named Gary :P
LOL i think it's hilarious that you like Avery's mom. The way I picture her is kinda a version of my mom but with some of my friend erika's mom's tendencies. Like more laid back and lax with some of the rules. haha Avery's mom is my attempt at a 'cool mom' but also still annoyingly lovey to her kid haha
Mark will be back I promise. There's still an iconic scene with him to come in like... ch16 or 17 or something. I just read it last night. I really hope you forget it just so I can hear you rediscover it later hahaha But yeah, Mark comes more into play when Avery goes back to school after Christmas break and gets into more trouble lol
FUck you. the sims count
Daphne and Mark always tease Avery about getting it in with Nick. Just like real friends do haha And Navery won't always be so innocent. to an extent lol YOU GO RIGHT AHEAD and write them. Holy shit I'd read the fuck out of that lmfao. I don't know if you realize how fucking awesome it is to make characters and then read someone else writing them? It's one of the biggest reasons I love our collab so much. How fucking insane would it be if you wrote the.... scene near the end of the story that I do not go into detail about? ahem. ;)
I KNEW you would forget she stands him up!!! SUCCESS!! I freaking love it when something like that happens and you have forgotten about it. It's awesome to read the reactions again. Yes, yes poor Nick boo hoo. This is probably better revenge for the panty prank than her actual revenge prank was lol
the Get over it line was definitely needed. Avery sucks at moving past things... hint hint. She holds onto things forever and keeps it in the back of her mind. High school is one of those things. Nick needs to say things like this more often.
Thank you so much for the awesome review. I'll say it again - you don't have to keep reviewing. you could just text me. I still love hearing the new and old reactions though haha
Date: 07/17/2020 Title: Chapter 11: Ch11
Ugh, Tyler. *rolls eyes*
This exchange made me laugh though: "You were going to leave without saying goodbye to your favourite guy who lives upstairs?" / I rolled my eyes at his exaggeration, "No, silly," I said growing amused, "Mark will be down any minute ← bc SAME. And also, FINALLY.
As much as they loved him as a friend, Daphne and Tara weren't pleased with how Tyler was acting towards me. ← SAME SAME SAME. I don’t remember being so irritated with him the first time around? Again, maybe it’s us getting older, but I SEE YOU FUCKBOY.
I know I was still bitter with Daphne from chapter nine, but this one made me insta-love her again, bc YES SAME AGREED 100% with her feels about Tyler/Avery. (I refuse to give them a ship name.) And then Avery being naive about his intentions/how Nick would feel. *sigh*
"It doesn't look good." He responded, "I think you broke something. You might have to check - " ← INSTANT SHIT-EATING GRIN. I said it once, I’ll say it again: *Shia voice* JUST DO IT!!
"This is kind of sad. Now who's going to wake me up in the middle of the night because they're pranking each other?" ← I CAN’T. I fucking love Mark. (Maybe even more than Nick looooool).
"Squeeze harder! I think she's still breathing!" Mark shouted, chuckling. ← AHA! The infamous line!! Also, as much as I don’t want Tyler there *grumbles* it was a cute scene. I’m kinda jealous of their friend group.
I began to snicker at his cockiness, but was soon silenced when he allowed his head to lower until his lips brushed against mine. His lips were soft, but firm against mine as he left them there for a short moment, before pulling back with another wink for me. ← FUCK NO. Fuuuuuuuuuck no. My head literally reeled back when I read this. The fucking nerve. BRUH. What’s about the Bro Code?? Like da actual fuq?
I’m kinda hyperventilating in my rage, and also smacking my forehead with an open palm bc WHAT THE FUCK AVERY HOW ARE YOU THAT NAIVE.
I’m about to go Mama Bear over Nick lmfao.
Jesus fucking fuck. FUCKING TYLER.
You LOVED HIM! I'm just gunna yell that everytime you bitch about Tyler lmao
You'll always love Mark though... understandable. I wrote him to be the favourite I think. Daphne is such a girl best friend, but Mark is just so goofy. I love him too.
I don't think the term 'fuckboy' was even a thing back when I wrote this lol (oh! here's me yelling again: YOU LOVED TYLER! hah). Tyler is just shooting his shot. He's not all that terrible... until later. Or maybe I've just dealt with enough fuckboys now and Tyler's fuckboy...ness is just so downplayed compared to real life fuckboys? LMAO
Like I said, Daphne is the girl best friend through and through. Every pair of friends who are girls have their little fights, but work through it and the true ones are always so loyal. She's gunna tell Avery like it is... random but reminds me of how I was with my friend when she was seeing this pretty much alchohlic dude and I'd just repeatedly tell her how disappointed I was or how much better she could do. He was something else though...
Avery needs to open her eyes though, definitely
the "i think you broke something" line is just such a ... such a late teen dude thing to say. His immaturity is really showing here, but thankfully he's actually a decent guy and not just a regular old pervert lmao
I enjoy reading about your Mark love haha... multiple times in one review. new record! haha
I'm wondering now how far we were into the story when you actually made the banner? I feel like there's another line still in 1 or 2 chapters that is on the banner. Crazy. It feels like most of the story had been posted with this banner, but maybe not. Or when I really think about it.... it just took me too damn long to actually write this story so it WAS the banner for most of the story... time wise haha
The bro code! It was a thought at one point... like 10 chapters ago.. Tyler got inpatient though *shrugs* haha
I don't know how I wrote someone this naive either lmao Naive and SUPER in denial. Wow.
ahem, YOU LOVED TYLER!!!!!!
Thank you. LOVE YOU!!
All things may change, in the summer, spring, or fall.
But she is the air. She is the wind; she is the spark.
She is the hope, and the guiding light.
She is everything I will ever stand for.
In which Kevin lives, and loves, and loses, and learns, and lives (again).
A JBFA 1.0 re-post.
Categories: Jonas Brothers, Jonas Brothers > Family
Characters: Joe Jonas, Kevin Jonas, Nick Jonas, O/c Character
Chapters: 7 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 16388 Read Count: 30026
Date: 06/07/2020 Title: Chapter 1: I. It begins with the North Star.
Oh nooooo. I can already feel that my heart is gonna be absolutely destroyed by the end of this. But my goodness, your prose is so dang pretty!
This line in particular: She'd just rise and fall like the tide along with every heave and descent of my chest. -- WOW. That's all I can really articulate about this.
And then this one: Some things don't change. Even when everything else does. -- You know how some books/stories are defined by a handful of their iconic quotes? I kind of already feel like this might be one of them for this story.
I remember seeing the banner for this when you'd posted it on the original JBFA, but I'd never gotten around to actually reading. I'm already kicking myself. Also, there were/are very few Kevin stories, so I'm so excited to have a chance to finally fall in love with him in a fic.
Thank you for sharing a piece of "you" with us! :)
What a surprise when I came back to find your reviews. I wanted to repost this story because it's one of my favorite things I wrote while I was here, and the response to its original run is one of the main reasons why I continue to write today. I'm so glad that all these years later - almost a decade, I think - it still can resonate with new readers.
I'm glad you are able to check Remembrance out this time around. You're absolutely right - Kevin has often gotten the short end of the stick in fic, and despite him being my original favorite, I didn't write a whole lot of him here. With Kevin, I was more particular about the stories I wrote for him, I guess, and when this one came to me it just...felt right.
I am humbled by your words about my prose, and giddy that you seem to be enjoying this so much despite how ominous that second quote you pulled out may be. This story can certainly be defined by that line. Kevin's journey isn't an easy one, but ultimately his story is one about how life can throw us many, many unexpected curveballs and we still have to keep going. Even when it hurts. Even when we don't want to. Even when the anguish and anger we feel is so great that it stops us in our tracks. Eventually, we have to pick ourselves up and keep on going. And we have to learn from what we go through along the way.
Anyway. I'm rambling. I'm happy as hell to be here, sharing this story again for old readers who might happen upon it, and for new ones like you. Thank you for taking the time to review. I really, really appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me.
Date: 06/07/2020 Title: Chapter 2: II. Only the foolish fail to believe.
Honestly, with the prose. I mean, *chef's kiss*
This story is so easy to read in that you get lost in it, and it passes so quickly. I genuinely respect your ability to hit emotional beats and maintain such quick pace.
I applaud your attention to detail, because they flesh out the world so realistically and so beautifully. And your dialogue, jesusssssss. (Apologies if this is offensive?) Your. Beats. Are. So. Good. The way it reads is so real, and I love it.
The magnet/name thing was so damn clever. Wow.
I told her I was pretty sure I had known, too. <-- How is it possible that this confidence is endearing? Honestly, the hopeless romantic in me is so satisfied with this.
However, God and I were not on good terms. I damned Him, and cursed Him, and wished upon Him the same pain His thievery of Andrew had inflicted on me -- another WOW line. Seriously.
Remember what I said about 'iconic' lines in the last review? Here's one from this chapter: I know that while life is unfair, and cold, and dark, it is beautiful, and giving, and wonderful all the same, even if at times it feels as if your heart is being slammed into a thousand layers of concrete.
While God may take one life from the world, He always grants it with another. -- CHILLS.
Little bit of a story on my end: my mom ironically was talking to me just this morning about her uncle who ended up passing and taking his last breath as she had gone into labor with me. Damn. This line hit me hella (lol) hard.
Okay, in regards to your author's note: thank you for sharing your mother's story. This is generally such a tragic and private subject, and I appreciate you sharing the intimacy of those struggles with us. <3
You. YOU. YOUUUUUUU. ARE MAKING ME CRY ON THIS SUNDAY NIGHT.
STOP SAYING NICE THINGS! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE COMPLIMENTS EXCEPT TO CRY ABOUT THEM BECAUSE I FEEL UNWORTHY!
Everything you have said you like about my writing is everything I love about writing, so like...as a writer, I feel so validated knowing that the things I spend so much time on and put so much of my heart in are shining through. I'm glad you appreciate the attention to detail, and the dialogue, and the beats. Writing is an art form, and it's something I've worked on for many, many years now but I am still so insecure about sometimes that it's wonderful when someone lets you know that the work you do is appreciated. I really, really feel honored and grateful to have you reading.
I'm glad that the story reads easily. At the time I originally wrote it, I was super nervous about posting it in such short snippets because I knew that people liked long chapters. But I'd been reading another story on the site at the time that was told in short bites as well, and it was written in such a way that word count wasn't even a thing to worry about. Every small bit carried such a great punch - there was SO much said in so few words and that inspired me. I wanted to be able to say so much with so little, too. I wanted to know if I could do that. If I could write something so impactful.
Yesterday was a really hard day because of some family stuff. I cannot begin to tell you how much needed the smile you've put on my face is. Your reviews are like rays of sunshine.
And THAT! THAT LITTLE PERSONAL BIT YOU SHARED! That was the most special thing about originally posting this story and it's happening AGAIN! People shared their personal stories with me throughout in their reviews, and it made me feel so close to them and so happy to be connected to all these people in some small way. And here you are, continuing that trend. It's interesting how things like that happen, isn't it? How there really are moments like Kevin speaks about, like your mother lived in. Where we lose one person but gain another.
Miscarriage IS such a private and tragic thing and I didn't want to be especially descriptive about Laura's experience because that wasn't the goal. But I did want to be sensitive. I wanted to do her grief justice. And I wanted to do my mother's story justice, so that even if she never read this, someone knew what she went through. Because without it, I wouldn't even be here.
Thank you again, so, so very much for all of your kind words and comments. I am so deeply grateful and I can't wait to share the rest of this story with you.
Date: 06/07/2020 Title: Chapter 3: III. A lesson in mastery.
One particular morning, Laura took it upon herself to teach me how to braid Poppy's hair. Insisting it was something I needed to know how to do... -- I DON'T TRUST THIS*, even if it is adorable. Why do I feel like I'm gonna be done dirty soon?
If there was ever a sight to steal my heart, it was that one. -- My heart can't even.
Then, she picked Poppy up from the floor and lifted her above her head, twirling around on the soles of her feet and smiling up at our baby girl as she grinned and giggled and stole my breath. -- WOW.
With Laura, I had everything, and with Poppy to brighten our days with her smile, I felt invincible. -- *refer to comment from first quote. (And just that lower section altogether).
Your focus being elsewhere right now is understandable! I kind of feel like you shouldn't even have to apologize, tbh. Thank you for another chapter, period.
Hope you're doing okay mentally and stuff. <3
(PS. I hope you're down with the novel-like reviews, because I generally type it up as I'm reading. So they're kind of play-by-play reactions lol.)
First. The length of your reviews is FINE. WELCOME. You obviously never saw the ones I left on fics I read because there were paragraphs. PARAGRAPHS. I don't know how to shut up when I read things most of the time. I worry I'll forget to say something that needs to be said and then the next thing I know, I've written a page-long review. Whoops.
So do not worry about the length of your reviews. Long or short, I am happy to receieve them at all.
Second. The world is kind of on fire right now, and as a black woman I have been feeling a LOT. And as I said in my last response to your previous review, my personal life took a punch in the gut yesterday. But something that's been giving me small glimpses of joy and pulling me out of the darkness has been writing. I am rereading (or rather, listening) to one of my favorite series on audiobook and it's been so soul-soothing for me. Words are giving me comfort in this stressful, anxious time, and I am grateful for them. I continue to share my writing here in hopes that if someone else is looking to find comfort in someone else's words, perhaps they'll choose mine. And then this whole thing will be bigger than me, as it should be.
I don't blame you for not trusting. In fact, my goal with this part was to make sure you didn't trust me. I wanted you to feel comfortable, loved up, warm...but wary.
The invincibility part, from the last section - ominous and foreshadowing, but also the truth. Invincibility IS a fleeting emotion. When we are at our happiest, we truly feel like nothing can go wrong, that nothing can hurt us, that we are indestructible. But in reality, we're only human. And we can only bear so much.
I won't be able to stop thanking you for taking the time to leave me these. Thank you endlessly for sharing your thoughts, for connecting with me, for spending your personal time reading something I've written. It means the world to me.
Date: 06/08/2020 Title: Chapter 4: IV. The cards we are dealt.
I was just reading through your responses to the previous reviews, and I'm so glad that I could help lighten the darkness of what's going on in the world, even if just in little bursts! I’m so very sorry you're dealing with some difficult stuff in your personal life, especially on top of the all hurt/anger, injustice and heartbreak going on right now in general. If I could give you a giant hug in real life I would.
Okay, review time:
She cradled my head against her chest as I cried in her arms, already fearing the worst. / "Now, how dare you give up hope so fast, my love," -- This was an absolute suckerpunch to my heart. How dare you for making me feel all the things!
And then this one: There was only one time that I saw her break down. It was a few weeks before she passed, on Poppy's third birthday, and she was upset because she was too weak to make her a birthday cake. -- HOLY. SHIT. I think there's just an empty cavity in my chest now...
The whole Snickerdoodles thing, and this: The simple act made Poppy giggle endlessly, and the light in Laura's eyes was always there, even when she was tired. <-- Not gonna lie, there were tears. I especially love that it's such a personal sentiment for you!
Laura fought the cancer as long as her body would allow her, but she was gone in less than a year's time, leaving me and our little girl behind in a crushing realm of sorrow. -- STUNNING, and absolutely devastating. The following two paragraphs too. There are actual goddamn tears streaming down my face right now. I am heartbroken, but jesuuus, WELL FRICKEN DONE!!
I opened my eyes to find my mother with tears in hers, but she blinked them back as she made her way towards me, placing a hand on my head and trailing her fingers through my hair. <-- I know I've mentioned my appreciation for your attention to detail in a previous review, but DAMN. This is such a simple gesture, but the affection and support are so blatant and powerful, and real.
While God may take one life from the world, He always grants it with another. <-- Ughhhhhh, my heart. The poetic beauty of this line coming around again. You are brilliant.
I am ready (I think) for the final three parts!
Sending you endless love,
(PS. Can I just add that I laughed because even your responses have incredible prose to them? You are an incredibly gifted writer - thank you for sharing that gift here on this ole' site again!)
Your reviews are truly wonderful to come back to. Thank you for leaving them.
The line about the birthday cake always gets me, too, and I wrote it! It's one of those details that is so small but packs SUCH an emotional wallop - because through Kevin's eyes he sees Laura do nothing but stay strong and positive, but it's the one moment where the reality of what they're both facing hits in such a way that Laura can't bear to hold up that image. She lets a crack show, lets Kevin see through to her own fear and anticipated grief.
My mom and I have always been very close, and Snickerdoodles were just a part of that closeness for us growing up. There can be such a strong bond between parents and their children, and the one that Kevin and Laura have with Poppy is that kind of bond. I wanted to show that, in a way, with Laura and Poppy sharing something sweet that my mom and I used to share.
The thing I liked about writing this chapter was diving into what grief looked like for Kevin. He is very lost and unable to make sense of what is happening in his life, but he has his family and his daughter to keep him going even when he doesn't want to. Grief can be all-consuming, and when we're in the thick of it, it's not always easy to see the way out. But his family stays close and present, keeping him tight within their circle. They let him grieve but try not to let him drown in it.
And then, of course, there's Joe and Deanna's news.
THAT was something really important to include here. I didn't want to wash over Kevin's grief, but I also wanted to show that even when we ARE grieving, the world keeps turning, and there are good things that can make us stop and go, wow. Yes, I'm hurting, but look at something great STILL happening despite that. And that's Deanna's pregnancy for Kevin. Finally, after months of not being able to see which way is up, a burst of good news makes him feel happiness without even questioning or resisting it. He just feels it, warm and overwhelming, and it makes sense.
And yeah, you know I had to bring that line back around. :)
Thank you for all of your compliments about my prose - even in my reviews, haha. Writing is the one thing in the world I feel like I know how to REALLY do, but I also have a million insecurities that still smack me upside the head from time to time and try to convince me to downplay my talent. It's nice to know that this story, despite being almost a decade old, has prose that is still nice to read. I've written even more since then and feel like as a writer, I'm always growing.
Thanks again for coming and leaving me reviews! I appreciate you so, so much, and I'm so glad that you've continued to love this story.
When Esmé Warner travels to the beautiful city of Barcelona in place of her boss, she has no idea what to expect. The task was simple; redesign the interior of a world-famous club. But what she hadn’t counted on was Joe Jonas, the handsome and charming owner.
Everything about him screams danger. And though Esmé knows she has to stay away, to keep herself from getting too close, her curiosity gets the best of her. He ignites a fire in her that hadn’t burned in years. And soon enough, he’s all she can think about, all she wants, all she needs.
But what happens in Barcelona sadly doesn’t stay in Barcelona. And when word of their passionate love affair gets out, things might just take a turn for the worst.
Categories: Jonas Brothers, Jonas Brothers > Drama, Jonas Brothers > Romance
Characters: Joe Jonas, O/c Character
Chapters: 27 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 130619 Read Count: 9651
Date: 06/24/2020 Title: Chapter 5: Cinco
“You’re doing this for yourself, not for us. It’s selfish and I don’t support selfish decisions.” ← OH. MY. GOD. What a biiiiiiitch. Fuck that guy, and not in the good way. AND THEN THE OTHER WOMAN. *makes high-pitched tea kettle sounds* I wanna kick the guy between the legs SO. HARD. Like Esme said, the AUDACITY.
I didn’t trust Margarita from the moment we met her. Her wanting Joe for herself is understandable, but also, know your place, hoe. (Also, I really hope that she hasn’t hooked up with Joe before. Like, nooooo. I don’t wanna picture that.)
And the fact that you can see the club, but they can’t see you makes it a little exciting… naughty even. ← Ohhh god. I sense some sexy-time foreshadowing haha! [Edit: got to the actual scene and it did not disappoint.]
“Three fingers, Miss Warner? Or would you like to try four tonight?” ← JFC. Your Joe is becoming my favorite.
When he traces my bottom lip with the pad of his thumb, he licks his own lips and slowly brings his eyes up to meet mine. ← The way you’ve managed to take this gesture and make it so sexy…? *chef’s kiss*
“Looks like I’m about to have some wet pussy,” ← I. CANT. I CANT I CANT ICANT. I mean, let’s be honest, that was me the entire scene. I just...jesus. I’m scared for Esme. That’s gonna be like crack lmfao. All the dirty talk leading up to this in the previous chapters was absolutely well-timed and well-fucking-played.
I still...I can’t process anything anymore. But I can’t wait for the next chapter!
(Also, fuck Damon! I WOULD REGRET NOTHING. K BYE!)
You hereby have my permission to kick Damon in the nuts and THEN SOME. Cause he is literally the worst. Sadly though, men and women like that really do exist and Esmé hasn't really known any better for a long time. Until now ;)
There's definitely something fishy about Margarita huh?
I'm really glad you enjoyed their first sexual encounter ;) trust me, there is a lot more where that came from.
THank you so much for your reviews! I hope to post the next chapter this weekend!
Date: 06/15/2020 Title: Chapter 1: Uno
Damon, pfft. What an asshat. I don’t know if you’ve watched 365 DNI yet, but I can’t not picture Damon with Massimo’s dominant demeanor. Like, I appreciate Esme’s commitment and follow through on her promise, but honey, the guy sucks ass.
“I can see where those thoughts of yours are heading.” Raquel’s voice pulls me back into reality. “Don’t you ever, for a second, let him think that everything you do has to be for him...” ← HALLE-fucking-LUJAH! I am so Team RaquEsme (?) *cringes*. You haven’t even introduced Joe yet and I’ve already found my Ship, haha!
Girl, I remember seeing your banners on the site before it went down, but I wasn’t all that active on at that time. Now I’m kicking myself for not reading your stuff sooner. I love the voice you have, and your attention to detail is so goood!
(PS. Low-key, I used to get paid to essentially watch porn a few years back, so I think I’m pretty well-prepared for this story, LMFAO. Also, I’ve never shared that on this site before, so hey, look at your story bonding us! XD)
I mean, right??? Damon is such an asshole lol
I never watched that but now I'm definitely curious and will need to check that out!!
Thank you so much for your review and the fact that you're enjoying it so far :D
Oh my God whaaat??? That actually sounds like a cool job hahaha I'm kinda jealous! Hook me up girl
Date: 06/15/2020 Title: Chapter 2: Dos
God. Damon is such a fuckboy, but I still find this line: He nods his head, looking up at the ceiling as if deep in thought. And when his eyes find mine again, he is looking at me with the same passive expression from seconds ago. ← So attractive? I just really like this little detail/exchange. I also liked the brief mention of Esme watching him for a moment while he slept, because it’s so subtle, but you can so obviously tell that she loves him way more than he does her. And that ability is *chef’s kiss*
Your Spanish, your details and names of specific places -- I’m assuming you’ve actually been to Barcelona? I appreciate those touches of reality; they really help solidify the world. But I especially appreciate that you tied Esme’s history to it so closely. I love me a real character!
Okay, regarding the part I was waiting for: holy mother of jesus. Joe speaking spanish?? *fans self* Also, Bartender Joe is such a trope for me. I can’t, Sofie.
““Well, first of all, I don’t see a ring on your finger.” He reaches for my left hand and strokes my bare ring finger.” ← Like, just fucking take me now! Again, another subtle detail that works so well.
I’m gonna give you a crown because: Queen of Sexual Tension.
Esmé is definitely more involved in the relationship than Damon is, that much is for sure.
Yes I have been to Barcelona and I can recommend it to everyone! It's such a gorgeous city and I fell in love instantly.
Right???? Joe speaking foreign languages just gets me all hot and bothered.
Thanks for your enthusiastic reviews!!! They're the best!!
Date: 06/18/2020 Title: Chapter 3: Tres
I did put two and two together about Joe being both bartender and boss, but it didn't take away from the reveal at all. But more on that later.
“...so you better not try any funny business. I’m not opposed to reporting you for sexual harassment.” / One of his eyebrows shoots up and he leans forward on his arms. “Is that a threat, Esmeralda?” he whispers, staring directly into my eyes. ← I am grinning so stupidly right now. The tension, ugh. Joseph, UGH. (Knowing he’s the owner during this exchange makes it even more amusing!)
He winks at me and pulls his bottom lip into his mouth. ← Fuuuuuuuuuck. A single damn sentence and I’m giddy and grinning.
And while I am feeling like the biggest idiot ever, Jay is laughing. / He is actually laughing. And not just a small chuckle either. It’s an actual head-falling-back laugh. He’s enjoying this. ← *clutches chest* Happy/Smiley Joe is my favoriteeeee. How tf did you get me from hot and bothered to swooning at his adorableness in so few sentences? You’re giving me emotional/hormonal whiplash, woman!
I will have you before you leave. ← I...wha...WHEWWW. Jesus, JOSEPH, and Mary.
Not just the streets, but also the club looks different in the daylight. No flashing neon lights, no swarm of people waiting to get access. / Just an empty sidewalk and an unlit sign that reads Pulse. ← Okay, I know this isn’t necessarily that exciting or scandalous of a quote to pick out, but I just want to acknowledge how much I appreciate your attention to detail. This is so subtle but so good, and it does such a fantastic job of setting the scene in a whopping two lines. *applauds*
When Joe revealed himself in his office, I was grinning so stupidly big. And then you hit me with these lines: “How many fingers do you like, Miss Warner?” / “You look like a woman who can handle three.” -- and I lost it. I CAN’T with your Joe and your clever lines, and dear god. I swear, I could quote that whole last scene between Esme and Joe, it was GOLD.
Sofie, we’re only three chapters in and I’m already like a giddy schoolgirl in the palm of your hands!
After seeing your tweet about the next chapter? I don’t know if I can contain myself!
I LOVE your reviews. For real. They are so great and amusing to read.
Joe is SO swoon-worthy, am I right? Ugh, this version of him is making me tingle all over when I re-read the chapters hahaha
Oh just you wait, it's gonna get a lot, and I mean A LOT, better soon ;)
Date: 06/24/2020 Title: Chapter 4: Cuatro
Holy mother of Jesus, this chapter had me sweating like a hooker in church.
I honestly tried so hard not to quote the entire chapter, but all of this was pure gold.
I lift my head back up and stare at the wall where I know Joe’s office is. / I have somehow locked my eyes on his through the glass ← Hitting us with the sexual tension right off the bat, eh? Whew. Like...voyeurism might low-key become a kink lmfao, especially if it’s Joe watching.
Convincing Joe that he can’t do everything he wants? ← Ohhh boy. I have a feeling this is gonna be applicable in a very different way here shortly lol.
“Well, what can you offer me?” / “I can offer you a lot,” he answers on a chuckle. “How about I start you off with a screaming orgasm?” ← SOFIE. I CAN’T. I would be choking too…(and hopefully not just on spit...LMFAOOO. I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Kind of.)
A screaming orgasm is quite good. Creamy. I snort and roll my eyes ← When I tell you that I laughed out loud, I laughed out loud. Also, the Blue Balls part? GENIUS. I can’t drink without getting sick so I’m so naive about different cocktails -- if this is how you really make those drinks, just *slow claps*. Yet another dimension of realness to blow my mind.
“Do you know how to give me that?” / “Do you want me to teach you?” ← JFC. I am so giddy and giggly right now. This is sooo fucking good.
“...he still is even though I told him that if we have to work together it has to be strictly professional but then he gives me a screaming orgasm and starts asking for creamy nuts and–” ← I am DYING. I am actually cackling. I will never be able to commend you enough on your ability to shift between sexy/cheeky to downright funny/clever.
The part from Joe mentioning the screaming orgasm again when the waitress arrives to the “hot pussy” thing made me lose my damn mind again. I seriously cannot articulate the things your Joe and his/Esme’s sexual tension does to me. You are very, very talented, my friend.
Also, thank you for the shoutout! I am humbled to be associated with this masterpiece of a story in any way haha!
You’ve gone and blown my mind again. And now there’s another chapter for me to immediately dive into so, HELL FUCKING YES. K BYE.
Your reviews GIVE ME LIFE. Your enthusiasm is EVERYTHING. I probably already said this but seriously, I love how you get so into it :D
This entire encouter had me giggling and blushing at the same time when I reread it because of those cocktails and how well it all worked. Sadly never tried any of those myself, but thank God for Google hahahaha
Oh you are going to love the next one, trust me ;)
A gang is a group or society of associates, friends or members of a family with a defined leadership and internal organization that identifies with or claims control over territory in a community and engages, either individually or collectively, in illegal, and possibly violent, behavior.
For 13 years, Nick Jonas had known one thing and one thing only; Family comes before everything. Becoming part of the 603 gang had never been a thought that crossed his mind but when his world fell apart and he was left with nothing, they saved him. They made him. And he was loyal.
Even if it killed him
Categories: Jonas Brothers > Crime, Jonas Brothers > Family, Jonas Brothers > Angst, Jonas Brothers > Drama
Characters: Nick Jonas, O/c Character
Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 8200 Read Count: 1209
Date: 06/15/2020 Title: Chapter 1: The beginning of the end.
"If I would have known that night that I was going to die, maybe I would have stayed just a little bit longer.
If I would have known that night that I was going to die, maybe I would have kissed her just one more time.
If I would have known that night that I was going to die, maybe I would have told my little girl that I loved her more than words could have ever imagine a thousand more times than I already had.
If I would have known that night that I was going to die, maybe I would have just given into Hayden's pleas for me to stay." <-- HOLY. SHIT. Court! What a goddamn suckerpunch to the chest.
I was so enthralled by this prologue that I was whizzing through the chapter so easily, and these lines hit and I had to stop to take in each one, and appreciate it.
What an idea! I mean, the gang thing is unique in itself for this platform, but the decision to start it with Nick dying? Bravo.
I'm so down for this ride!
Author's Response: Ahhhhh! See this is exactly what I wanted! Iím 100% for the heartbreak and this story will be full of that for sure. I find it crazy that there havenít been that many gang stories (save for a few amazing ones) on the site! This one is going to be a doozy and full of betrayal all around. Hoping to have everyone sobbing by the end of it haha! Thanks again for the review pretty lady!! Also.. update relapse.. Iím dying haha Xoxo court
Who would've thought it would take not sleeping together to become this vulnerable with each other?
A group of close friends make a pact that sets them on the trajectory to be terrifyingly honest with one another, maybe for the first time. Also there's a wedding.
Categories: Jonas Brothers > Family, Jonas Brothers > Friendship, Jonas Brothers > Angst, Jonas Brothers > Drama, Jonas Brothers > Romance
Characters: Joe Jonas, Nick Jonas, O/c Character
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 2859 Read Count: 539
Date: 06/16/2020 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
BRUH, I literally had to refrain from just outright starting this with A************T!! But I did refrain, bc I want you to keep your anonymity, if that's what you want.
"Persistence was strong in Rose from birth though, so she actually says, "sigh," dragging out the vowel dramatically. / She sees the corners of his lips quirk up" <-- MY GRIN. I love this little detail/exchange.
They move slower across the page now which means she has been given unspoken permission to break his attention away from the book. <-- And then this? I mean, COME ON. *applauds*
MOTHERFUCKER. I just read what she said next and I wanna quote that too. It's so good, A. Really.
"Dick, please, a shopping spree I could have handled. This wasn't that; this was a rampage." <-- I die. XD
"I mean, you should have seen her pick up every item in the store and try on each like twenty times over before deciding that her soon-to-be betrothed would like her better naked anyway." <-- *spits coffee* The way you worded this, fuck, lmfao.
"Why must you make our no-sex-because-we-just-want-to-be-friends policy so difficult to uphold?" Nick shakes his head like it's some great mystery instead of Rose just being a bitch after spending the entire day listening to Elle gush about Joe. <-- And cue the record scratching bc WAIT WHAT?? Up until this point, I had assumed Elle and NICK were together. Was that intentional, or did I just read that entirely wrong? LIKE...I mean...what? Hahaha.
I'm so genuinely thrilled now at this change in dynamic between Rose/Nick, but I am also so genuinely like, stunned. Bc of the above.
Nick and Rose had been sleeping together on and off for about a year. In that time, Nick dated one girl, who dumped him as soon as he revealed what transpired between the friends, and Rose had been out on a date only twice. Joe thinks that there's deeply emotional feelings that Rose and Nick won't admit, and Elle thinks they're both just lazy and like the convenience. But they do both agree that it wasn't healthy and needed to stop. <-- Fuck, I quoted a novel, but. FUCK. This is so good, and smart, and well written? But also, the bolded part of that quote especially is my fave and made me laugh at loud bc, like...kind of same? *cringes*
And if Elle knew how to command, then Joe knew how to persuade. Elle made the bold statement, but Joe was the one who managed to convince them all to embark on this <-- Need I even at this point?
Three more months of Rose asking Joe if oral counted, only to always receive a "yes" in response. <-- I just laughed so. fucking. hard. A****! I'M DYING. This from you is everything I never knew I needed.
Breakfast, schmeakfast. <-- I snorted when I read this. Solely for the reason bc I thought of you, (not Rose,) reading this. You and your hard boiled egg and handful of almonds...
I love how the jacket did end up coming back around. And I appreciate this line: "Which... wasn't Rose's plan at all, she would swear" even more.
I am already enthralled by this story, A. And I can't believe you kept a secret all this time! I CAN NEVER KEEP THESE SORTS OF THINGS SECRET. But if you can't tell from my enthusiasm, I'm kinda low-key thrilled you did, bc this is so fun for me!
I love you. I'm so proud of you. <3
PS. It was this line: "It's a story about love and friendship and how the two mix and clash and shift and last" that give it away. (And also your play on the lyrics, bc that is such a you thing.) ;)
"There are two kinds of sparks, the one that goes off with a hitch like a match, but it burns quickly. The other is the kind that needs time but when the flame strikes... it's eternal, don't forget that."
Categories: Jonas Brothers > Romance
Characters: Joe Jonas
Chapters: 7 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 10577 Read Count: 2694
Date: 07/30/2020 Title: Chapter 4: Four
“I had sex in the park yesterday morning,” Nick said casually, breaking the awkward silence. ← I legitimately laughed out loud. Joe and Courtney’s reactions proceeded to make me laugh even harder bc HOLY SHIT were they the perfect way to respond. Just picturing Nick as the one to say this? I can’t.
"How does a Jonas Brother manage to have sex in the middle of park, in broad daylight?" / "If you keep hanging around us a little longer, you might just find out," ← OH SHIT. I don’t think I realized/remembered that they were actually famous in this? And then, again, Nick. JFC. He’s on a roll! I really like this saucy version of him, lol.
And then Denise scolding him for being hungover and passed out on the couch? Knowing he’s the mama’s boy makes me giggle even more. So scandalous, Nicholas. I’d love for this to be what he was really like.
When Joe was having his little heart-to-heart with Denise and he told her that he was cheated on, my heart. POOR BB. (I genuinely wonder how she’d react in real life? Like, obviously she’d be consolatory, but I kinda wonder how she’d be if ever she encountered the girl? Like, if she’d be the vengeful mother and say something, or just handle it with ‘grace’?)
Joe had knocked on every apartment door on the ninth floor, hoping to find Courtney easily. ← !!! I have two things to say about this. One, that’s so endearing, and like, the commitment! I mean, obviously he’s still heartbroken and grieving his failed relationship (even if he’s better off without it) but the fact that he likes Courtney enough to track her down like that? Be still my heart.
Second, CAN YOU IMAGINE JOE JONAS CASUALLY JUST KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR? Jesus, I’d probably shit my pants, lmfao. (Okay, back to being “lady-like”).
Obviously there’s chemistry here, but my god, I just want them together already!
(On to read your new story! Glad I get to read more of your work! <3)
Date: 07/08/2020 Title: Chapter 1: One.
I remember seeing your banner on the last JBFA, but I don't think I ever read this story?? Now I'm facepalming so hard bc damn, have I been missing out!! What an intro!
Joe was such an unbelievably thoughtful boyfriend, like why on earth would you jeopardize that relationship? Angelina is a mother-effing dipshit.
Your attention to detail and the voice you have when you write are so immersive. I adore it! This line is the perfect example: Joe slotted the key into the lock and jiggled it, until he heard it click. He hummed a random melody to himself as he walked into the messy apartment. <-- I feel like your word choice and minor details make your voice so distinct, and it's just. so. smart.
At first he thought it was an intruder, but the sound of a loud moan caused his heart to stop, and all the blood to drain from his face as his brain slowly registered what was happening. <-- Such a suckerpunch. Jfc. As soon as I read this I was audibly going, "nooooooo".
This man was fucking his girlfriend, his hands on her hips, urging her to go faster, resting on the exact same place as Joe's hands had rested the night before. When Angelina threw her head back in ecstasy, signalling that she was close to her spine-tingling orgasm, Joe suddenly saw red. <-- Again, the power of your details. Holy shit. This made me almost sick to my stomach. (Also kind of cackling bc this review is pretty much just me copy/pasting your story back to you haha).
When Angelina had the nerve to say, "please don't hurt him". Bitch. Are you kidding me. Your priorities! NUH-UH. And then her proceeding with the, "Joe, wait". Like what could you have possibly said to him in that moment?
Also, Joe could've done a lot worse than the eggs, and I would've found him wholly justified. Just sayin'.
"Fuck," the girl swore, "My heart," she yelped as she dropped to her knees, trying to desperately push the splintered ceramic remains together. Joe laughed darkly at the irony of the situation. <-- I love this. How fucking clever!
I'm genuinely amazed at the intensity of the rollercoaster of emotions you managed in like, a thousand words. *bows in reverence* You've got me crazy invested already. I can't wait to meet this new character/love interest!!
Bravo, my dear, bravo!
Karissa!!! You have no idea how much you just made me smile!! This review is intense! I'm so glad you liked it! I wrote this so long ago, but I got all sorts of emotional as I re-read it recently!
Thank you so much for all your kind words, I really hope that the next chapters are just as good!
You're the best! Thank you!
Date: 07/16/2020 Title: Chapter 2: Two.
Woof. That scene with Joe as soon as he got into his car? My heart. POOR BB. For as much as that hurt though, the immediate scene after, with him calling Nick? AGAIN, my heart. But for good reasons. I kind of imagine their relationship actually being a lot like this in real life, and that just wrecks me in the best way lmfao.
(I’ve also been watching a lot of Kingdom lately, so seeing Nick being all brotherly and shit is just...sigh. I’m such a sucker.)
I said it in the last review, I’ll say it again: Angelina is a mother-effing dipshit. The fact that he had a picture of her sitting on the side table, and that it was the first thing he saw when he walked in?? I’ve got my lower lip out and everything, bc BB is such a good boyfriend. (Low-key kind of wish I’d thought to throw away my sheets and stuff when I got cheated on.)
“I was just going to bring a six pack,” Nick mumbled, “But it sounded like you needed more than that.” ← JFC. Refer to the above comments. MY HEART.
Nick followed suit and together they hurled the bags unceremoniously across the room, laughing in satisfaction when they heard the contents shatter. ← Picturing them drunk and doing this is legitimately making me LOL.
“We have got to stop meeting like this,” she laughed, reaching out to stabilise the teetering boxes, causing Joe to snicker slightly at her cheesy joke. ← I ALREADY SHIP THEM SO HARD. But also, if them literally running into one another wasn’t a sign, idfk what is.
The alcohol had lowered his inhibitions and he had spilled his guts out to Courtney, who listened graciously and offered profanities where necessary. / “Despicable,” she muttered, “What a dickhead,” ← For real. A girl after my own heart. What a champ lmao.
I love your Jick bromance. I love Courtney.
Yet another wonderful chapter, Aisling! <3
Oh my god your reviews are everything!!!
I aboloutely love Joe and Nick's relationship, and I imagine them to be a lot like this in real life. But who knows hahaha
Aaaaahhhh, so glad you ship Joe and Courtney, I think she's definitely my favourite character I've written. I've had a lot of fun re-reading all about my previous characters lately.
Thank you so much for reading and thank you for the kickass review!! You're amazing!!