365 Days of Woe by green and yellow by The archive
FeatureSummary:

banner cred to johlee674 :) lyric cred to max bemis of say anything

I know my literature. Shakespeare once wrote, 'Love is blind, and lovers cannot see.'

Not to burst your bubble, Will, but what you wrote is crap. Love sure as hell isn't blind, because the moment I saw Mystery Girl, I was smitten. Now, she's all I see.

My only problem is that she already has a boyfriend. (Also, as a side-note, it's quite possible that she is a lesbian). But hey, that's okay. True love will find a way in the end, if our good friend Billy Shakes knows what he's talking about - and someone so glorified by the English-speaking world for hundreds of years can't be wrong. He just can't.

Don't let me down, Shakespeare. I'm counting on you


Categories: Jonas Brothers, Jonas Brothers > Friendship Characters: Joe Jonas, Kevin Jonas, Miley Cyrus, Nick Jonas, O/c Character
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 33 Completed: Yes Word count: 157123 Read: 197007 Published: 05/13/2020 Updated: 05/14/2020
Day 59: General Asshattery by The archive
Day Fifty-Nine.

I don't think I'd understand if a heterosexual female wasn't attracted to me.

Yeah, okay, that sounds a little arrogant. I'm just being honest. I can figure people out pretty easily, and I know what girls want. They go crazy over guys like me, guys who don't say much but who look like they've got something going on up there. Plus, I have diabetes. I'm not saying it's all fun and games, but come on. A quiet guy with an adorable crutch that doesn't really get in the way like a terminal illness or an amputated limb? I'm irresistible and I know it.

Which is why I found it very hard to comprehend why Mystery Girl had not made yet made any advances. (Side-note: Honestly, was it possible that she was only attracted to females? The hints were getting stronger and stronger). We were in the same room, and I was playing all the right cards, but she hadn't spoken more than a word to me.

The word that she spoke, however, was the most wonderful word I had ever heard.

"I'm sure you know these guys," Jesse told her as Joe and I stood in front of him. He pointed to each of us, saying, "Joe and Nick."

Joe shook her hand and said something mildly funny (it really wasn't funny, but he wasn't annoying me as much as usual, so I'd give it to him), and then she turned to me.

Finally, we had a perfect excuse to stare at each other. I was composed. I had had a lot of time to think about this moment. I held out my hand to shake.

"Nick," I repeated, just to make sure she heard it right.

She took my hand in hers. Her skin was soft and I swear there was a jolt of electricity that passed between us.
"Rainie," she introduced herself with an alluring smile.

Rainie. I don't mean to go all West Side Story on your ass, but God, it was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. Say it soft, and it's almost like praying...
Really, though. Even her name was tragically beautiful. I needed her.

Maybe I held her hand a second longer than I should have. Maybe I held her eyes way longer than I should have. I could've held her under my spell (or vice versa) all day if Jesse hadn't grabbed her free hand and tugged, saying, "C'mon, I'll introduce you to the others."

So I let go and watched her walk away. I gulped, fighting to keep emotion from visibly showing on my face, and Joe commented loudly, "Weird."

I broke my gaze on Mystery Girl - Rainie - to glance at him quizzically. I thought he was going to ask me what kind of strange connection I shared with Jesse McCartney's girlfriend. Instead, he crunched noisily, mouth open, holding a bowl out to me which he had found on the table behind him. "Popcorn?"

No. I did not feel like popcorn. I felt like grabbing onto Mystery Girl's - shit, Rainie's - hand and stuffing her into a car. I'd tell the driver to take us to Mexico. From there, we'd fly to Chile. And then we could live in happiness and peace.

Instead, I watched out of the corner of my eye as Jesse put his hand on the small of her back and introduced her to the general manager of Hollywood Records.

We were at a meeting. A casual meeting, but a meeting nonetheless. A tour rundown. It began in just over a month, and since we - and by ‘we' I mean my brothers and I - were so busy filming our show and promoting our album and being revered by millions of teenaged girls everywhere, we hadn't had time to really think about it. Well, I had a lot of time to think about it. Mainly because I knew we were touring with Jesse, and I was constantly wondering if he would still be dating Mystery - Rainie - and if she would visit me - I mean, him - every once in a while.

Come to think of it, it was kind of inappropriate for her to be here. If I wasn't so delighted, I might have grumbled about it to Joe.

Everyone was here, though, so Rainie was barely even noticeable. All our band-mates, some members of the crew, people I didn't recognize who I could only assume were affiliated with Jesse - and Her. With a capital H, because that pronoun has never been so important to me.

When Joe left me to generously offer his popcorn to everyone, I leaned against the table with my arms crossed, surveying the scene before me. Rainie. I didn't listen to any of the information I was supposed to be hearing because I was so busy repeating her name in my mind. Rainie. What could a girl like her possibly see in a guy like Jesse?

Maybe it was the age thing. Jesse is Kevin's age, I think - twenty-one - and Rainie looked closer to his age than to mine. Damn my parents for my late conception! (Side-note: I was probably an accident. After having a kid like Kevin, I think the rest of us were all accidents).

Really, I didn't think age had anything to do with it, because I knew she was interested in me. I kept tabs on her throughout the meeting - it seemed like she was trying a little too hard not to look my way. That meant something, didn't it? She knew I was pissed off because she deliberately agreed to date someone else even after our incredible staring contest. She had to have known.

As the voices droned on and on, I realized that perhaps this was pathetic. Well, it was either pathetic or the most amazing thing that had ever happened (there is a fine, fine line). This must be what it's like when two deaf people are in a relationship. Or two mutes. I'd repeated her name so many times in my head that I could barely remember what her voice sounded like. We didn't speak to one another, but I'll be damned if we weren't in a relationship.

Yes. We definitely were. She had my heart. And I had direct proof that she was cheating on me.

The meeting ended when one of our band-mates (surprisingly not Joe) threw a piece of popcorn in the air, caught it in his mouth, and choked on it. This caused a crowd to gather around him as his face turned red, and eventually he coughed it up. Once everyone had breathed a sigh of relief, Kevin launched into a longwinded story of how he had choked on a giant pill and almost died when he was a small child.

(The thing about Kevin is that you can never tell whether his stories are true or not, because no one has any recollection of these events aside from him. I had certainly never heard this story before, even after living with him for over sixteen-point-five years.
Also, when we had to take pills for one reason or another, I vividly remember Mom crushing them up into tiny little pieces of powder and hiding them in jam or orange juice, so I would say it's fair to assume on reasonable grounds that Kevin was making this shit up).

Everyone knew not to listen to Kevin. It's something you learn after you've been near him for more than a couple of hours. The only person who hadn't been around Kevin for more than a couple of hours was Rainie.

I stayed in my corner, arms still folded across my chest, analyzing the situation. To discuss matters further with his manager, Jesse left Rainie while she was stuck with Kevin. Poor girl. My plan was to be her escape.

"Nick!" Joe called. He gestured for me to follow the members of our band out the door. In his palm he held a hackey-sack. As usual, they were going to play in the parking lot.

I shook my head. How could I focus on hackey-sack at a time like this? Joe let his shoulders fall in disappointment, but he didn't pressure me.

"So I'm standing there with my hands on my neck like this, and my face is turning blue, and I'm crying hysterically because I think this'll be the end of my life - oh, I want to play guys, I'll be out in a sec! - and my mom is freaking out and my dad's calling 9-1-1, and Joe was just a baby but he started crying, too..."

Jesus, Kevin. He even interrupted his dramatic story to announce his inclusion in the game of hackey-sack. What a fuckwit - his asshattery effectively destroyed my plan of rescuing Rainie from his never-ending stories of deathly boredom and unbearable pointlessness. Now I had to think up something new to attract her to me, possibly something cleverer.

"Hackey-sack, Rainie?" Kevin offered on his way out the door. (Side-note: he didn't even try to invite me. Ignorant shit).

"Maybe in a little while," she told him, fiddling with her sweater. She buried her hands in the sleeves. The shirt was so big on her that one side hung off her tanned shoulder. Appetizing.

Kevin nodded and left in a hurry with only a small wave in her direction. It was then that I realized that I was alone with Mystery Girl. My Rainie. I kept my cool, although I was panicking internally. I expected her to leave the room in search of Jesse, but instead she swivelled on the balls of her feet, pointing her toes in my direction.

Really, if I could explain how my throat went dry and my brain closed up and my heart felt weak all of a sudden, you would probably agree that I had narrowly avoided going into cardiac arrest.

She smiled at me, and I swear it was a seductive smile. When she reached up to readjust her shirt by pulling it over her shoulder, I thought she was going to pull it off, and for a split second I was sure I was about to lose my virginity in the conference room of my record label. As much as I have this little band on my finger symbolizing my promise to God, He was the furthest thing from my mind, and I can't honestly say I would have stopped her.

"Nick... right?" Those were the words she said to me as she slowed to a halt a few feet away.

As if she didn't know. Playing hard to get. I couldn't form coherent thoughts, but I melted a little when she said my name.

"Nick," I repeated. Holy hell. I realized that the two words I had said to Mystery Girl were: 1) "Nick" and 2) "Nick". Dammit. That was so unfortunate.

"So..." she trailed off, using her hands to push herself onto the table beside me. "What's your deal?"

My deal? My deal was that I was basically having an orgasm, and as much as I wanted her to stay within my sight for the rest of my life, it was extremely uncomfortable to deal with fully-clothed and in a public setting.

Nonetheless, even while flustered, I know enough to plan out my words. Stuttering would not make a good impression.

"In the sense of..." I trailed off. There. That sounded smart. It sounded like I had many levels, many "deals".

She smiled again. Jesus Christ, she had to stop doing that. "Do you... like, do you always lurk in corners? You're like... that guy from Lord of the Rings, you know? Aragorn?"

I nodded, pushing myself away from the table. I needed to make my legs strong enough to function again, and the support from the table was not making it easy. "I definitely model myself after him," I told her. "He eventually became king, no?"

She nodded in agreement. "After a lot of hard work."

I was willing to put in the effort. I don't know if she could read what I was thinking in my eyes, but we were having another staring contest. This time, we were only feet away, and I was directly facing her. It was so much easier to get a good look. She had little freckles across her nose, just like Pep.

I didn't have anything else to say to her because I felt like the stare said it all, but I thought that I should open my mouth anyways, if only to let her know what she was getting herself into. She deserved to know, at the very least.

"I don't talk much," I informed her, analyzing her reaction. I liked being able to look at her without worry.

Was she sizing me up, too? Nobody had ever done that before. I had never been so sure that someone was trying to read me as hard I was trying to read him or her in return.

"That's okay," she replied softly.

I shoved my hands into the pockets of my dark jeans, because if I didn't, I would grab her and kiss her. "I like to watch everyone," I continued, a little unsure of why I was telling her this. And why, Nicholas Jonas, why did you phrase it like that, you dumbfuck? It wasn't possible to make myself sound like more of a creep. I had to fix it, even though she didn't look as surprised or horrified as I expected. "Not in a creepy way... I'm just an observer."

Rainie licked her lips. I wanted to lick her lips.
"And what did you observe today?" she asked.

I was a little confused. Did she want to have sex with me, or what? There she was, sitting on a table in front of me, her shirt falling off and her tongue grazing over her lips... am I wrong here? Do people who just want to be friends behave like this? If so, then sweet mother of God, I had to get more friends. Pep just wasn't doing it for me.

Still fighting that impending orgasm, I leaned my shoulder against the wall in attempt to appear casual. Coolly, I answered, "I saw the popcorn incident coming before it happened."

She chuckled. Her laugh was brilliant. "So do you observe people, or do you predict the future?"

"I observe," I told her naturally. I let my eyes slide down to her knees before I glanced back at her sparkling brown eyes. "People aren't too hard to figure out."

Rainie arched her eyebrows in interest. "No?"

I shook my head, smiling calmly. "No." Modern-day Chaucer. Modern-day Chaucer. Be Chaucer, Nick. Geoffrey Chaucer would not jizz his pants in front of the woman he loved.

She was sceptical; I could tell that much by the way she was looking at me. She was uncertain and possibly uncomfortable. "Have you figured me out?" she asked cynically.

I sighed, keeping my smile. Might as well be honest. "Trying to."

Placing her palms flat on the table behind her, she leaned back and crossed one leg over the other.
"Enlighten me," she said, swinging her long, honey-like hair over her shoulder. "What have you got so far?"

Christ Almighty, she was fucking sexy. I don't know how I managed to control myself.

"So far..." I thought about it. I shrugged lightly. "You're hard."

It was amazing to hear her laugh as she returned, "You're hard."

Oh, God. Please, no. Not again. Not here, not now. I looked down at my pants in horror - and as I did so, I realized that she meant I was hard to figure out. Not... well, you know.

I breathed a sigh of relief, silently thanking my hormones for behaving. "I just told you everything you need to know."

She smiled slyly. "Mm... but that's not really everything, is it?"

I knew that I should be focusing on the conversation so as not to appear as asshatted as Kevin, but I just have to set up the scene again for you: she was leaning backwards on the fucking table, legs stretched out, talking to me in that really smooth, sultry voice - am I wrong in thinking that she wanted me? Moreover, that she wanted me to take her right there, on the table? Because if she had said one word, I swear to God - no, not God, God had nothing to do with this - this was between me and Mystery Girl. Rainie. Mystery Rainie.

I had to know. I should have kept my mouth shut, but I had to know. I asked her slowly, contemplatively, "Are you... teasing me?"

She shrugged. "Do you like being teased?"

I paused, chewing on my lip in deliberation. Seriously, what the fuck? I'm an intellectual guy, but even I was having trouble following our conversation. I wasn't sure what she wanted me to answer, because there was no indication in her expression. She was just... different.

"No," I responded after a long period of silence.

She smiled again, her eyes leaving mine only for a second to glance behind me. When we reconnected, she murmured, "That's too bad."

Without another word, she hopped down from the table and brushed my arm as she passed. I turned to watch her go, and that was when I noticed that Jesse had rejoined us in the conference room. When she reached him, she pecked him on the lips and intertwined their fingers.

"Ready?" he asked her from the doorway.

She nodded eagerly.

Jesse gave me a small wave. "Later, Nick."

Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have been able to lift up my arm to return the gesture. Before Rainie left with him, she turned and gave me a smirk. Then she was gone.

Ho-ly. I actually pinched myself to see if I was still asleep. I confirmed that I was, indeed, awake, and the past five minutes had been real. I inhaled until my cheeks were full of air, and then I exhaled as slowly as possible, blinking fiercely.

God, she was tough. Pep said something about an ice bitch. If it was true, then Rainie was by far the hottest ice bitch I'd ever met, and if it was possible, I only wanted her more. But did she want me? That was the true question. If my Chaucer-ness was reliable, she certainly didn't want Jesse. (She'd probably heard Dream Street's rousing rendition of ‘Sugar Rush'. I don't blame her).

Like I said, finding a heterosexual female who wasn't attracted to me would be difficult. So if she really wasn't turned on like she pretended, that left only one explanation for Rainie: she was both a cock-tease and a lesbian, just like her aptly named Lesbian Friend.

Mystery Bitch, I say.

________________________________________
End Notes:
So for some reason, the numbers five, six, and the little dash (-) no longer work on my keyboard. Which is fantastic. I already had laptop problems a couple weeks ago with my laptop breaking (and by breaking, I don't mean I got a virus or it shut down, I mean my laptop actually, physically snapped in half), and now all the keys are slowly dying. So if I never update again, you'll know it's not because I'm giving up on this story, but it's because my computer is giving up on me. Ugh piece of crap.

Anyways! Assuming my laptop survives the next few days, it shouldn't be a long wait for the next update because the majority of it is written, and it is both the longest chapter so far, and my favourite, so I hope you guys like it! But seriously, pray for the life of my laptop in the meantime hahaha.

Also, just because it was mentioned... you gotta give the guy credit for pursuing a career in music after THIS.
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