Have you filed for an annulment yet? X
Why won't you leave me alone, I've clearly moved on.
Because you know fine well I want you back and you know I usually get what I want
Not this time.
I'm sure if Nick knew the half of it, he'd be the one filing for the annulment
Are you kidding? The past is the past Sean, you need to stop living in it.
You were always good to me when we were together, and I've got the photos to prove it. I've got an idea, why don't we spend one more night together and if you decide you don't feel the same way then I'll leave you alone, once and for all.
I've got a better idea. GO FUCK YOURSELF
Don't say I didn't warn you.
The messages had increased from Sean over the next month or so. Ranging from the nasty to the desperate. I wanted so badly to tell Nick about the specifics but there just never seemed to be a good time; the tour had kicked off, I was crazy busy at work and then when I could fly out to be with him, it was always such a whirlwind. This weekend though, he was flying back to spend the weekend with me and I was going to tell him.
Despite my initial shock, I loved being Mrs Jonas. It still gave me a buzz to see my new name written down, and the stunning wedding and engagement rings he'd bought me reminded me of his love constantly. Nick was a fantastic husband. So thoughtful and loving. He paid attention to the smallest things and never let me down and in return I tried to do the same for him.I just hoped that he'd forgive me for what I was about to tell him.
Work was going well, as odd as it was to see Aria dealing with my husbands business and Evan dealing with Sean, I had some great new clients. Evan had been right, I would never have been able to remain impartial; Nick was my world. I just needed to get through today at work and he'd be home. My chain of thought was interrupted by an email from Nick.
Subject: I miss you
Dear my Mrs Jonas
Not long now, I can't wait to see you. A whole weekend with the one I love the most is just what I need
Your N x
Subject: miss you more
You've no idea how much I want to be with you right now. I've missed you so much, I'll show you just how much later.
All my love, Axxx
I was so distracted at work that Evan sent me home early, I was just in the door when Carmen called.
'Hey ho!' I shouted excitedly.
'What's wrong Carmen?' I instantly knew by her voice there was something wrong.
'Are you alone?'
'Im just home, Nicks flying in for the weekend’
'You're scaring me, what's wrong?'
'What's he done now?'
'Well there’s an online exclusive on your wedding'
'What's that got to do with Sean though, I don't understand'
'I meant your wedding to Sean, not Nick. The photos could only have come from him'
'Why???? Why does he want to ruin my life like this? He's fucking with my work and private life now'
'I take it Nick doesn't know yet?'
'No, I was going to tell him tonight face to face but what if he's already seen it?'
'I'll send you the link. At least you're clothed in these ones though, what if he tries to sell the other pictures he has?'
'Honestly I'm about to lose my mind'
'Oh Abs, I dunno what else to say but I'll have my phone next to me all night, call me if you need anything, ok?'
2 hours of me pacing the floor later, Nick finally arrived home, picking me up and spinning me around.
'I've missed you so so much' I said, cherishing his touch, not knowing what was about to happen next.
'I've missed you too' he replied enthusiastically, he clearly didn't know.
I kissed him and hugged him as hard as I could.
'Come to bed, I want to show you how much I missed you Mrs Jonas' he said pulling my arm towards our bedroom.
'Nick, I can't. I need you to come and sit down and listen to me. I know you're not going to like it, but I need to tell you something I should have right at the start'
He nodded hesitantly and we sat on the sofa.
'Please just let me talk, ok?'
'Ok' he nodded.
'So today there's a story in the press at home about me and Sean' I began.
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. 'And? There's been plenty of those, it's all bull, just ignore it'
'I can't, because this one is true, it's about, it's about when Sean and I got married' there, I’d finally said it.
'You're married, what? I don't understand ?'
'We were married but obviously it was a complete mistake. We were young and stupid but we got divorced and he never quite got over it' I took a deep breath. 'I didn't know how to tell you and then I had to work with him and it just got complicated' I didn’t even get the chance to go into the rest.
'For fucks sake Abbi' Nick shouted as he pushed past me and left the house. I knew he was crying but I didn't follow him, I knew I was the last person he'd want to see. I decided I'd wait here for him until he got back.
Well done Sean. I hope you're so proud of yourself trying to ruin my life?
Like you ruined mine when you left me? You know how much I loved you.
Sex doesn't mean love. You'd do well to remember that
Come to London and we can test that theory. If not, I've got plenty of momentos of you to keep me occupied. Wonder if Nick would like to see?
I broke down in tears. This was exactly what I'd feared, I knew Sean would try and use anything and everything against me. This is why I kept men at an arms length, and the worst thing was the only one who I had let in was the last person I wanted to hurt.
After an eternity of sitting in the dark waiting for Nick to get back, I heard a car pull up outside. I ran to the door but it was Joe. He was so ice cold with me.
'Nick thought you'd still be here. He wants you to leave and he will be in contact in due course. In the meantime he doesn't want to hear from you. I can't believe you Abbi, why didn't you tell him. People can forgive things you do, but not if you don't tell them. He's really really hurt'
'I can't explain Joe, I was young and I was stupid and I've tried to forget it even happened. I love Nick beyond words and I'd never want to hurt him. I tried to protect him by not telling him the truth but it's backfired massively and I can't take it back'
'Give him space, it's a lot for him to take in, for all of us to take in'
'It's just one giant mess'
'Yes it is Abbi, it's a huge fucking mess of your making. Now, Nicks asked if you can stay at your apartment for the time being'
'That figures' I replied. I went back into the house and packed a bag, and passed Joe on my way out.
'Tell Nick I love him, and that I'm sorry, please Joe. I'm sorry to you all. There's not much I can do now but what I can I will do, you all don't deserve to be tangled in this mess'
I got in my car and drove off, taking one last look back at the house, I saw Nick getting out of the back of Joes car. I'd not seen him in there because of the tinted windows, and I knew he'd heard the whole conversation. He'd heard me tell Joe that I loved him and I was sorry and he'd stayed in the car. It was obvious to me, I'd all but killed our relationship.
I drove home like a maniac, parked and ran into my apartment past the photographers who were waiting for me, looking for a reaction to the story. I locked the door behind me and that's when the tears began. Once I eventually regained my ability to talk I checked my phone. It had been on silent since I left the house. Carmen had tried to call me several times and there were all sorts of messages from everyone, all except Nick. The one person who I wanted to hear from.
Nick, thank you so much for the last 3 months together. You've showed me what love really is and made me the happiest person in the world and I really hoped that we would make it, but I know how much I've let you down and hurt you by not being as honest as I should have been. I love you and always will x
He didn't reply.
I called Carmen back.
'Oh Abbi thank god you're ok! I was worried when you didn't answer, but I think I've found a way of stopping Sean from leaking the private pictures of you'
'You can get an injunction'
'What does It matter now? Everything's screwed up anyway'
'Well, I spoke to my cousin Edward, remember the lawyer? And he said that you can stop him as it's considered as revenge porn'
'I don't care anymore, Nick knows I was married to Sean and doesn't want to see me. I think it's over anyway and I just want to come home'
'get a flight back and we can sort this out then? Edwards a good lawyer, and you need to get away for a bit'
'I'll try' I promised.
I phoned Evan as soon as I hung up from Carmen.
'I'm sorry to call you at such a late hour, but I really need the next week off, I've got an emergency in London that I need to attend to urgently and I can't do it here'
'I was up anyway, Abbi, are you ok?'
'I really can't talk about it just now, please can I have the time off? I literally need to fly back ASAP'
'I did see the article and wondered what would happen. Take two weeks. Just take care of yourself'
I was straight online and booked a flight for the next day. If this was his reaction to me being married before, what was going to happen when he knew the full extent of what Sean had on me. I couldn’t do that to him.
Congratulations Sean. You got what you wanted.
I knew it wouldn't take long. I've had an offer for my full story though, I wonder how much else I should tell them or show them.
Why though, you've got what you wanted now? My life is fucking ruined and I'm having to come back to sort all of this out. Why drag me through the mud like this?
I'll make you this offer one last time. Spend one night with me and I'll destroy all the pictures. Your choice.
I called Carmen back. 'I'm coming, pick me up at Heathrow at 6pm. Let's nail this fucker'
I spent the whole flight trying to work out my next move. All around me people were sleeping but my mind was in overdrive. Sean had gone too far and I wanted him out of my life once and for all. Carmens plan of getting a legal injunction was technically the best way to stop him but I knew Sean better than that and knew how he worked. He'd never allow the law to get in the way of what he wanted, I needed a better plan, or should I just spend that night with him and it all being over?
As soon as I landed I text him.
I've just landed in London and thought about what you said in your last message, and ok one night. I can come round tomorrow night? x
I knew you'd see sense, come round at 6 and I'll cook. Missed you x
Carmen was amazing when I got back, she'd bought all my favourite comfort foods and made sure my room was ready. I flopped into my own bed and slept right through until lunchtime the next day.
'Edward is going to meet you tomorrow at 2, okay? He’d got the paperwork all sorted, it just needs your autograph’ Carmen informed me.
'I actually don't know if I'm going to go through with the injunction' I said covering my face because I knew what she was about to say.
'Are you batshit crazy? This needs dealt with and right away. Think of Nick, he doesn't deserve a scandal like Seans planning. You two will never work it out if you have that hanging over you' she was shouting at 100 miles per hour.
'Look I've already decided that there’s no future for Nick and I. I love him too much to put him through all of this. But remember I of all people know how Sean works so please just trust me. After tonight the pictures will be dealt with '
'Are you going to fill me in on the specifics? I like a good evil genius plan. Especially when it's yours'
'I'd rather not, not til after’ I sighed, knowing she’d talk me out of it.
I arrived on the doorstep of Seans London flat at 6pm on the dot, took a deep breath and rang the bell. After an age he answered, with an apron half folded over tied around his waist and a joke chefs hat on. Classy.
'Come in Abs, I've made your favourite' he smiled pulling me in for a hug, planting a kiss in my cheek.
I forced a smile on my face 'thanks, it smells really good' I said walking through the door.
'So? What do you think to the place? It's amazing how much money people have thrown at me for my second album already so I did what I knew you'd tell me to do and I invested it in this property'
'How incredibly grown up of you. But yeah, it's really nice, I loves the original features and this kitchen is amazing'
'It's just how you wanted it to be isn't it? I remember you used to tell me when we had our student flat all the things you'd do to it if it were our own and I kinda just went with what you'd said'
Looking again, I could see what he meant. It was slightly creepy now he came to mention it.
'Yeah, it is very me isn't it?' I smiled nervously.
'I thought that if I made it just how you'd like it then maybe you might consider coming and living with me again?' His beautiful blue eyes were huge.
'Oh Sean, don't do this. You and I both know it wasn't the house or the kitchen or the sofa that didn't work, it was us- as in you and me. We loved each other but it wasn't enough. That day we got married, when we stood there and said those vows, we meant every word of it, but we changed. I changed, I grew a pair and realised I didn't want to be controlled by you anymore. I wanted to be my own person. Then you started cheating on me and I knew about it but I just ignored it'
'You knew? All along?' He looked genuinely surprised
'Yes of course I knew, I knew every time and when it stopped bothering me I knew we were done. That's why I left you and that's why I divorced you. Not the cheating but because I felt nothing anymore'
'I always thought it was the cheating' he looked dejected.
'And it was easier to let you think that, but when you've now ruined my marriage and my happiness with your blackmail. I'm not going to sit back and pretend it was a bed of roses'
'It's hardly blackmail, I was just kidding'
'Kidding about what?'
'Kidding that I'd release those naked photos and videos of you. I couldn't do that to you and your family'
'Sean you just released our wedding pictures to the press, you told them the whole bloody story from start to finish. How the hell am I supposed to put trust in you not to share anything now? So you said that if I spent one more night with you, and I'm assuming you meant sexually, that you'd destroy all the photos. Am I right?'
'Well yeah I did say that but....'
'So I'm right?'
'Right let's get it over with then' and I lifted my dress over my head, and stood in my underwear in front of him
'What are you doing?' He asked puzzled, then a smile came over his face, realising exactly what I was doing.
'If by me having sex with you one more time is going to stop you from blackmailing me and ruining the rest of my life then I'll do it. I don't want to, I feel nothing for you, but I'll do it if it means you will leave me and Nick the fuck alone from now on. But after that I will never see or speak to you again, do you understand?'
'Your tits look fucking amazing' he said picking me up and putting me on the kitchen island I'd told him I'd always wanted.