What are you meant to think or feel when you find out that your wife has been married before and didn't think to tell you? Well I felt like I'd been kicked in my stomach and winded. Then of course my Dad had his opinion on the whole thing. Joe called him to tell him what had happened and obviously he'd seen the article online and he couldn't wait to phone me and tell me exactly what he thought.
'Nick, I told you I wasn't sure about her, right from the start, you should have listened'
'Dad, Dad, I get it. I know she's not who you wanted me to marry but I did and that was my choice'
'Well she proved me right didn't she? I knew she wasn't all that she made out she was. You know all this about her now and still want her to be your wife, knowing she hid a marriage from you and then went ahead and worked with her ex husband? And then there's also the issue with the fact you were too stupid to consider a prenup, Nick this could cost you a lot of money to make her go away'
'It's costing me more than money, my heart feels like it's been ripped out and what's worse, I know she's the only one that can fix it'
'Nick, I think you need to stay away from her, she has done enough damage to our name'
'But I love her and I know she loves me too. Believe me I've done nothing but think things over since she told me'
'Love? Don't make me laugh, you barely know each other. She wanted you for your fame and for your money. You were just too stupid to see it. Its time to get our lawyers involved and see what the hell we can salvage from this mess'
'Dad, I want to speak to her first, before we do anything else'
'Fine then, go and speak to her but mark my words, you will not be able to trust a single thing she says ever again. If you're lucky we might be able to get the marriage annulled but if not then it's divorce and that's when it gets expensive. Have you got the Audi back yet?'
'No, why would I? It's her car'
'You paid for it though?'
'That's my decision, not yours'
'I am only doing this to protect you son. I love you so much and I hate to see her destroying you. You've worked too hard to let her take all of this away from you'
'And what if I want to stay married to her?'
'Then obviously Mom and I will support you in that decision, but right now it's obvious, she's not what's best for you and that's all we want. I know I sound harsh on her but it's because I'm hurt too, believe it or not I was actually starting to come round to her and maybe I even thought she was the one for you'
'I still think she is though'
'That's a decision only you can make son'
Since the whole wedding scandal unravelled I've been hearing from everyone what I need to or should do and I'm so sick of it. She lied and it kills me, I feel it eating me up inside. To know she was married to Sean of all people.
Everyone is now screaming about a prenup but she's never once asked me for anything since we've been together and that makes me think that it's not been all about the money. But Dad is so super cautious because we've been hurt before by people only out for themselves.
I replay that day on my couch over and over again in my head and think of all the questions I wanted to ask her but didn't. I've picked up my phone to call her repeatedly, but I get as far as her contact and I have to step away from it. I know I asked her for space and she's sent one text but nothing else in over a week. I don't know what that means, is it because she's respecting my space or because she's been busted. All I know is that she's off work, Evan told me that much, but what is she doing with her time? There's so much in all this that I don't know and she's the only one who can tell me.
After the worst nights sleep ever I realise I need to see her so I get in my car and drive over to her apartment. I can see her car, the Audi that I bought for her, in the secure car park, so she must be home. It takes me a solid five minutes to pluck up the courage to ring her bell, no answer. I call her, her phone goes straight to answerphone so I decided to buzz the concierge.
'Hey I'm looking for Abbi from apartment 6?'
'I'm afraid no one of that name lives here'
'Come on man, I'm her husband and I can see her car is in the carpark. She's not answering and I'm worried about her'
'I'm sorry, she's not here right now, but if you have proof you are who you say you are, she's left a letter for you. I'll buzz you in'
'Here you are Mr Jonas, I'm sure you'll understand with all the current media interest that we have to be careful with our residents privacy. Abbi asked me to pass this on to you if you came by while she's away'
'Ok thanks' I mumbled and left. Once in my car I tore the envelope open. The letter smelled of her perfume and I recognised her beautiful handwriting straight away.
First of all, I want to tell you I love you so so much. Since the day we met, if I'm honest with myself, but I've let you down in a massive way. I didn't mean to lie to you but I realise now by not telling you, I was lying. I made a mistake back then marrying him in the first place, and I made another mistake by not owning up to it now.
If you have got this letter then I am currently in London, I have had to come home to try and deal with the fall out from all of this with Sean. But I know it's too little too late in terms of us. I've broken your trust and hurt your image potentially beyond repair. So as much as this kills me to say, when I get back to LA, I am going to file for divorce. I need to set you free from the shit storm which is my life. Please don't worry, I don't want money or anything from you, I just want you to be able to move on. I'll never forgive myself for what I've done to you, and I'll never ever stop loving you, that's why I'm letting you go. You deserve a lot better than me.
All my love
I read it three times, the only part that would stick in my mind was that she wanted a divorce. After a month, she wanted a divorce. I needed my brothers. I called Joe-
'Joe, can I come over? I need to talk to you and Kevin, I need big brother advice'
'My door is always open bro, I'll call Kevin. See you when you get here. Keep a cool head and drive safely'
He could obviously tell how upset I was.
When I got there Joe was in the kitchen with Kevin and Sophie.
'Do you want me to go?' She asked.
'No, it's fine. Read this' I put the letter down in front of them and they all read it silently.
'So she's talking divorce, but what do you want?' Sophie asked
'I don't. I keep trying to be angry at her, I mean I can understand why she didn't tell me at first and then things moved so fast but I knew what I was doing in Vegas and for me, nothings changed but Dad thinks she was only with me for the money'
'I think you should wait until she's back from London and speak to her properly. It sounds like she's written that letter in a hurry. Maybe with a bit of time and space she will realise that you can get through this. It does sound like she's trying to protect you' said Kevin
'It's clear for anyone to see that you love each other, if you can forgive her then there's no reason you can't move on from this. But can be sure she's told you everything now?' Asked Sophie
'I don't know, I hope so but I didn't even know there was something she hadn't told me before'
'I guess the only thing you can do now is wait until she's back' said Kevin, rubbing my shoulder.
'I thought about going to London to talk to her, what do you think?' I asked, playing with my wedding ring that I'd refused to take off.
'Nick, we're literally leaving for Detroit tonight. You can't cancel shows for her. The best advice is to give each other space and see what happens. Your whole relationship has been on fast forward. She might change her mind while she's away' Kevin always gave me the most sensible advice.
'But you do need to prepare yourself for the possibility that she's made her mind up' Sophie added, slightly less hopefully.
I wasn't ready to give up on our marriage yet. The next day however it was in the English press that she had been seen going into his house in London. There were even pictures, of them hugging on his doorstep, him kissing her cheek, and her wearing a dress that I had bought for her. I wanted to rip his smiling face off. So much for all her assurances there was nothing between them. So it didn't altogether surprise me when a legal letter arrived a few days later telling me she had filed for a legal separation. Dad said it was the best option but it still didn't feel like it.
'A separation is a smart move Nick. It takes immediate effect and stops any her having any entitlement to your money straight away and you can later apply for the divorce later' he explained.
'Sounds Great' I replied sarcastically.
'Nick, this isn't easy, but at least she's being reasonable. A clean break and fresh start are just around the corner'
And to top it off. It was my birthday.