Seans stay in rehab was over before I knew it, thankfully it had gone well and I was in Seville to pick him up. When he walked through the door, I burst into tears and ran to greet him. He looked like the old him. He'd gained weight and had lost the grey tinge to his skin. We grabbed each other and held each other tightly, unable to speak.
'I'm so so sorry for everything Abbi, I've spent so long thinking about the way I've treated you and I wish I could take it all back'
'It's ok, I forgive you. I'm just so glad you stuck this out, I know it can't have been easy'
The manager filled me in on Seans progress, he'd now been clean for 10 weeks and had fully engaged with all aspects of the rehab. I was so proud of him.
This time I'd hired us a far better car, thankfully, and Sean and I caught up on our way back down to civilisation.
'So tell me, are you and Nick all sorted now?' He asked happily.
'Erm if you mean by getting divorced at the end of next month then yeah, he served the papers as my Christmas present'
'What happened?' He was shocked.
I explained what had happened, that because I had left early to take him to rehab that Nick had thought the worst and called it off completely because I'd refused to tell him where I was going.
'You should just have told him' he sighed.
'No, you wanted confidentiality, and I promised you. I will admit I told Carmen, because I needed someone to talk to but she's kept it to herself'
'How are we going to fix this?' He asked me, his face showing his was going through options in his mind.
'We're not. I've started to accept its over. Ive also pledged not to get married again, I obviously make a terrible wife' I shrugged.
'Are you kidding, you make a fantastic wife and I'm not giving up hope for you two yet'
'It is what it is. Now change of subject, hows the writing going? Everyone is asking about a second album, maybe we could write a song together for old time's sake?'
'Maybe we can work together after all, unofficially, but if you ever make me sing in public again, I will kill you' I wasn't joking.
As we exited Heathrow we were photographed together, but I didn't care anymore, Nick was divorcing me anyway. This time however it was Sean who didn't want them to take our photo, he got really worked up but I eventually managed to usher him into a car that was waiting for us and after dropping him at home to his parents I went back to my flat.
'How is he?' Carmen asked
'It's like the old him, I just hope it's a permanent change. He's back to my Sean again, I didn't realise how much I'd missed him'
'Oh Jesus, don't tell me you two are back together!' She shook her head in despair.
'Do I look stupid? In fact don't answer that! I'm moving forwards, not backwards. That's what my meditation cd tells me anyway'
After a cup of tea and a biscuit with Carmen, I headed off to bed, happy for the first time in ages. My friend was getting better.
Carmen woke me first thing the next morning after she came back from her run.
'You need to see this, wake up, Sean's got a story in the press again' she said waving a newspaper in my face.
'Oh no, read me it, my eyes are still glued shut it's Sunday for gods sakes' I took a deep breath expecting the worst as she cleared her throat and started to read.
'Exclusive- Shane O'Leary reveals his secret drugs battle and how a rehab stay saved his life thanks to the intervention of his ex-wife Abbi.'
I sat up, 'what the...?' She had my full attention as she continued to read.
'Shane reveals his descent into a drug fuelled downward spiral that left his life in danger, but after Abbi's intervention and finding him a place at rehab he's happy to be starting his life over again.
Shane said 'Abbi took me to rehab early in the morning after the EMA's, despite having to lie to the people she loved the most because I'd insisted on total confidentiality. If it wasn't for her doing that, I wouldn't be alive today. I didn't appreciate her when she was my wife and I was a terrible husband to her but she's been my rock and the best friend I could have hoped for.'
Shane also told us that when he was at his worst he went out of his way to ruin her relationship with Nick Jonas, who is due to divorce Abbi next month for irreconcilable differences. He also added that 'Abbi and I haven't had any other kind of relationship than friendship since we divorced. The claims of a love triangle are ridiculous. She's always been faithful to Nick and I know for her it's not over between them, I pray they get back together'
Oh my God!'
My eyes lit up 'Carmen, I know exactly what he's doing. He asked me how to help fix things with Nick and I and that's his way of telling him what happened that day' the idiot had actually put me first for a change. I knew how embarrassed he'd been by his drug problem and how he didn't want his mum to know. I phoned him straight away.
'Abbi, it's 8am, if your house isn't on fire, can I talk to you later?'
'No you can't, I've just seen what you've done for me. Thank you so much'
'I told you I wanted to help fix things, it's the least I could do for you after what I've done'
'Sean, always know that I'll be here for you, but never in your bed again' I laughed, wiping my tears away.
'I know, now fuck off and let me sleep' he laughed and hung up on me.
London always had a terrible winter and this year was no exception, today was a disgusting snowy day and to top it off, it was Monday Morning and I'd slept through my alarm. I eventually strolled into the office, with my Costa in hand, just after 9:30am. The perks of being the boss! I was about to log in to my computer, when my secretary Lana popped her head in to my office.
'Abbi, your 9am is still in the boardroom waiting for you!'
Shit, my 9am, I'd forgotten I had a meeting and now I was late. Too late to prepare anything so I grabbed my notepad and pen, I'd just wing it. I opened the door to the boardroom.
'Hi, Sorry I'm late...'
then I realised who it was sat at the table playing on his phone.
'Nick? What are you doing here?'
'Well hello to you too! Punctual as ever I see' he said tapping his watch, 'I just wanted to talk to you but I wasn't sure if you'd agree to see me'
I shut the door behind me and sat down at the table with Nick. This was the first time I'd seen him since our last night together in Seville. The 11th of November. The date carved into my heart forever. He looked tired but I knew that they'd been touring like mad so it was no wonder. He still smelled the same unbelievable way though.
'So why are you here then, what is it you want to talk about? The divorce?'
'Yes and no. I'm here because we need to talk about a lot of stuff. I saw Seans article and that's why I flew over immediately. I'm owe you an apology, I'm sorry I doubted you that day'
'It's okay. In your shoes I can see why you thought what you did. Believe it or not, I was coming back to try and talk to you again when the car Id hired broke down and I got stranded in the mountains '
'Look, i know you're at work right now and you're busy. I'm in town today and tomorrow, then we have a show in Birmingham on Wednesday. Please can we have dinner tonight and just talk?'
'Okay' I said.
'Okay? Okay, that's great' he looked shocked I'd said yes.
'Do you want to meet me here at 6pm when I finish? Or will I meet you somewhere else, just in case we get spotted? The last thing we want is people getting the wrong idea'
'Come to my hotel then?' he suggested
I raised my eyebrows.
'No, not like that. I just think it's the best place we can go to talk in private, unless you want me to come to your place?' he explained.
I couldn't help but remember some of the times we'd spent together in hotels, but tonight would be different. Just talking.
'Your hotel is better, Carmen will be home tonight and I think it's best we do this alone'
He nodded in agreement.
'I better go and do some work anyway' I said. 'I'm kinda the boss round here now and like you pointed out I'm already late'
We both got up to leave at the same time and ended up almost nose to nose. We stood for a minute, just taking each other in. I so wanted to kiss him, I wanted to touch him, I still felt the same way about him but I didn't know if he did.
'I'll come to the hotel as soon as I finish work' I said breaking the moment. I didn't know if I should hug him or shake hands or what, I just knew I needed to get out that room and get some air. I went for a platonic pat on the arm instead and led him out the room and to the lift.
'Promise me you'll be there tonight, here's the details for you' he scribbled down the hotel name and room number and handed it to me.
'I promise' I replied, and watched him get in the lift and leave.
Carmen, Nick just came to see me. Can't call now but can you be free at lunch? I need to talk to you, I'm meeting him tonight. xx
OMG! WTF!!!!! Are you ok? How was it seeing him again? I'll be at the office for 1, I'll bring lunch xx
It was so good to see him, I just wanted to grab him and kiss him but you know I can't. I'll tell you everything at lunch.
I spent the rest of the morning working as hard as I could to put him out of my mind but he was all I could think of. It had been so hard to try and put him behind me after Seville and I was just back on my feet and now here he was back in my life.
It was such a relief when it was lunch time and Carmen arrived, she came and sat in that same boardroom that Nick and I had been in hours before.
'Are you ok? I can't believe he just showed up like that!' She said, eyes massive.
'You can't believe it, I'm still in shock. I knew I'd see him when I go back to LA and finalise the divorce next month and all that but seeing him here in person, unprepared, has messed with my brain so much'
'So, what are you going to do?'
'I'm meeting him at his hotel after work to talk'
'To talk yeah? you know that doesn't involve getting naked don't you?'
'Shut up Carmen'
'And make sure no one is going to rehab this time will you, just so you don't have to run out when you fix things'
I shook my head at her
Nick sent me an email that afternoon and it felt good to see his name in my inbox again, rather on court papers.
Can't believe you were late for our meeting this morning, it took me back to when we visited our album launch venue for the first time, remember?
It was good to see you today, and I'm really hoping you keep your promise and come tonight, just come up to my room. My brothers aren't here yet so it's just me.
I promised I'd be there, so I'll be there.
I realised after I pressed send I'd put a kiss at the end but to be honest, I wanted to put a kiss on more than just the email.
Work lasted for forever and a day, at least that's how it felt. I decided to call it a day at 5pm and go to see Nick early. I was so conflicted, I wanted to see him so badly but I also knew this wasn't going to be a walk in the park.
I took the tube to his hotel, and was surprised to find no fans camped outside, like there always were in the states, he must have come off the grid. A doorman opened the door to me with a nod and I went right into the elevator and up to the top floor, where Nick's room was.
I stood at the door poised to knock, took a deep breath in and knocked.
I knocked again.
I decided to knock one last time before I walked away.
This time Nick answered, with only a crisp white towel around his waist and water still running down his body.
'You're early for a change! come in' he smiled
'I'm sorry, I've caught you in the middle of something, do you want me to come back later'
'Don't be stupid' and he gestured to the open door for me to go in.
I followed him in, removed my wet jacket and shoes, then took a seat on the massive couch as he headed to the bedroom to dress.
'I went to the gym for a while to kill time then I came back up to my room for a shower before you got here. I didn't think you'd be here for a least another hour' he shouted to me.
He reappeared a minute later in black loose under armour shorts and a tight white base layer T-shirt. He'd obviously reapplied his signature scent because I could smell him instantly. He was rubbing his hair with a hand towel. I couldn't stop looking at him. I noticed his hair was longer than before and his natural curls were coming out, just as I loved.
'I like your hair like that' I smiled.
'Thanks, and you look beautiful as always'
I blushed despite myself.
'Thanks' I paused. 'I still can't quite believe you're here'
'Yeah, it's the UK leg of our tour starting in Birmingham on Wednesday'
'I know, I work for your record company remember? I didn't mean like that though. I meant here right now with me. I thought after Seville that was it'
'Abbi, I owe you a massive apology. That interview that Sean did really explained everything'
'I know, he did it on purpose for your benefit. When I made him promise to go to rehab, he agreed on the condition that I try to make things work with you again and that it was completely confidential. Then when he got out and I explained what had happened he did that interview so you would know why I'd behaved the way I did'
'I don't like the guy but I have to say it did work. I'd written us off, but now, I don't know'
'You don't know?' I questioned him.
'Yup I don't know. That's why I'm here now' he replied
'So how are your family?' I asked needing time to take in what he'd just said.
'Everyone is good, it's not public yet but Sophie is pregnant, she's due in the summer. Joe's the happiest man alive, you should see him. Mom and dad are fine, looking forward to the new baby. Dani, Kevin and the girls are good too. In fact, when I told Alena I was coming to see you, she asked me to give you something'
He went into his Tom Ford work bag and pulled out an envelope with my name on. I ripped it open excitedly, I'd missed those girls.
It was an invitation to Alena's birthday party in London on the 2nd February before their O2 concert. Just weeks before our scheduled divorce hearing. She had written it herself and at the side was an extra note.
'Please come Abbi, we all miss you'
A couple of tears rolled down my face.
'Would It be ok if I do go Nick?'
He nodded, 'I think it would be better than ok. At the start the girls wondered why you'd gone and I had to explain you had work and stuff but you know it was hard for me because deep down I wanted to know the same thing ' .
'So why are you really here Nick? It's a long way to come to apologise. We were due to see each other next month anyway, for the divorce'
'I don't want us to go through with it' he said
'Sorry, What?' I spluttered.
'I want to put a stop to the divorce' he said clearly.
'So where do we go from here?' Can you forgive me after everything I told you about me?'
'That night I was expecting you to tell me you'd killed someone or something truly horrible. Look I'll be honest, the thought of you with any other person but me kills me but that's the past, before you met me and that's that'
'I was ashamed, I never wanted you to find out, so how could I tell you, I didn't want to hurt you. Your parents already thought badly of me'
Nick stood up and started pacing back and forth shaking his head as it started to sink in
'Those are bullshit excuses Abbi, all I ever wanted, no needed from you was the truth'
'It's not bullshit at all, I went to hell and back trying to protect you'
'But in the end you hurt me more'
'Believe it or not I’ve regretted that every day’ I admitted.
'Well as you know, I'm here in the UK for the next couple of weeks so let's spend some time together and see how it goes'
'And of course I now have an invitation to the party of the year on Sunday. How will your family be with me coming though?'
'Honestly? If they didn't like it I wouldn't care. But they've all been telling me to come and see you so it will be ok'
'Okay, I'm actually so looking forward to seeing everyone truth be told. I didn't just miss you, I missed them too'