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Author's Chapter Notes:

Here comes hurricane Covid!

Theres definitely a storm brewing!

Alena's party was back stage at Wembley, this girl was seriously rock n roll. It was such a ‘Alena’ party with make up, glitter and sparkles; Dani and Kevin had certainly pulled out all the stops. There were visits from her favourite Disney princesses then we played games and had afternoon tea. I put my full focus into spending time with the girls and barely spoke to Nick who was doing his best to ignore me. Thankfully, Sophie and Joe, being their usual hilarious selves managed to take any attention away from us though. I looked at them, it just came easy to them. Why couldn't Nick and I be like that?

 

Alena was so happy I was there. 

'I'm so glad you and uncle Nick are happy again, I love you being my aunty. So when will you have a baby like Sophie too?' She asked. 

 

'Not for a long time yet, but I promise you when we do, you can be the first to know. Ok?' I said putting a brave face on it. 

 

'Yay! I can't wait!' She smiled and skipped off to play on the cool go carts that Frankie and Kevin were racing on. 

 

Nick came over and joined me. 'So, have you made a decision yet?' He asked softly so only I could hear.

 

'About what?' I was confused for a second 

 

'Us or the job?' He hissed in my ear. 

 

'You were serious?'

 

'Deadly serious' he replied and when I looked him in the eyes, I could see he'd meant every word.

 

'And I was serious too, I won't be given ultimatums' he had just got my back right up. 

 

'Well it's just as well the divorce hearing hasn't been cancelled then, isn't it' he all but spat at me.

 

Sophie and Joe heard what he'd said and looked stunned and I saw Denise's face, she'd clearly caught wind of something too. 

 

'Nick and Abbi, this is Alena's party and if you can't be civil to each other maybe it's best if you go Abbi' she

 

'I'm sorry Denise, I'll go and say goodbye to her now' I said, desperate to get out of there. I explained to Alena that I had to go but I'd see her soon and left as quickly as I could. As I did I saw Paul and Joe trying to talk to Nick and he was shaking his head and he threw me the dirtiest look. I was in no mood for this anymore. There would be no ultimatums and no on and off divorces. 

 

I got back to the flat and Carmen was there with Tinderman, our living room looking like a candle factory and seductive music playing, I was clearly interrupting.

 

'I thought you were out all day and night?' She said clearly disappointed to see me back. 

 

'Don't worry, it's all sorted, I'm just grabbing my stuff I'm staying with Sean tonight- In the guest room- don't worry' I explained. 

 

'Ok, just as long as it is only the guest room' she shouted after me. 

 

Sean had the heartbreak supplies waiting for me but strangely I didn't feel sad or like crying, it was hard to describe how I felt, it was like an emptiness. I cuddled into Sean on the sofa and we had a couple of drinks as we watched our old favourite films. 

 

'Do you want to go out to a club or something?' He asked. 

 

'Probably wouldn't look the best if we get papped would it?' I replied 

 

'Why don't we just sing for a bit then, we could try and write another song. The last one has made us a decent amount of money hasn't it?'

 

'True, I wasn't disappointed when I got my share of the royalties' I laughed. 

 

Sean brought out his guitar and we started to come up with ideas. Our song ended up being about when you are in love with the wrong person. Very apt. Writing with Sean again was easy and in about 3 hours we had a song. It was just for Sean to sing this time but my name would be on the credits. 

 

'Saying that Sean, if I'm about to get divorced who knows what name you'll need to put on it' I joked. 

 

'I just wish you still had my name' he sighed.

 

'Why?' I asked puzzled.

 

'Don't you get it Abs? Are you that blind? I still love you, I always have and I always will' he stopped what he was doing and took my hand. 

 

We looked at each other but before I knew what I was doing, I kissed him. Tongues the lot and he was kissing me back. He moved his body on top of mine and I felt powerless to stop it, I wanted him badly, but he pulled back. 

 

'Abbi, this is really not a good idea. Look we're doing really well finding our feet as friends, please let's not complicate that. I know what I just said but if this goes any further you'll regret it forever while you're still with Nick and I don't want to lose you. So I'm going to stop this right now, I'm not letting you make this stupid mistake because you're upset with him' 

 

'I'm sorry, you're right. I shouldn't have done that. I don't even know why I did that but  I don't feel guilty about it when I know I should' I sat up and watched him move away from me.

 

'Abs, we're not doing this, I'm going to bed. Goodnight' and he walked into his room and shut the door.

 

Fuck. What did I just do? I went to the room where I was staying and went to bed. I'd deal with it all tomorrow. 

 

I woke up around 10am and checked my phone immediately, no word from Nick at all. I got up and went into the kitchen of Seans flat. He'd left some coffee in the pot for me and a note to say he'd see me soon. The good old avoidance technique. I sat with my cup of coffee mulling everything over and realised there was a call I had to make.

 

'Hi, it's me. I've been thinking over everything that you've said and I've made my decision'

 

'And...'

 

'Yes I'll take the job Dad' 

 

'And Nick? Is he ok with your decision?'

 

'Looks like that divorce competition might be back on' I said with a sigh, realising the gravity of what I was doing. 

 

'As long as you're sure sweetheart. You've got a big future no matter what you do. If he's the one for you he'll support your decision, and if he doesn't, well you'll know he wasn't' 

 

We said goodbye and I got myself sorted and headed to the hotel where Nick was staying. I let myself into his room with the key that he'd given me. As I walked in he was fast asleep in bed, I stood looking at him for a minute as he slept but he must have sensed me there and woke up. He moved over and patted the bed for me to sit next to him. 

 

'I'm sorry about yesterday, I was out of order' he apologised. 

 

'You were, but I've come to tell you that I've taken the job. I will be in London for those 6 months and if you want the divorce that's fine but I'm not going to be living in your shadow for the rest of my life either way. You need to make your mind up, do you want a wife or a dog that will listen to commands?' I'd rehearsed my words the whole way here. 

 

'You took the job?' He said looking stunned.

 

'I did, and I'm really excited about it, I just hope you can be happy for me too?' I desperately wanted him to say yes.

 

'I don't know if I can be' he replied after a minute. 

 

'Well then, here's your key. I'll see you in LA on the 28th for the divorce that you didn't want last week' I threw the key at him and walked out. He didn't even call my name to stop me. 

 

The next couple of weeks passed by in a blur. Nick had left the UK again, and I’d handed my notice in to the record company. I was slowly getting tv work courtesy of my Dad. Life was changing quickly but I was following news of the COVID virus that was spreading all over China, the news was full of it and it was pretty scary.

 

Sean was still avoiding me since I'd kissed him. We'd text each other the odd message but nothing in depth. It was hard because I really missed him, dare I say, even more than I did Nick. He and I on the other hand hadn't even managed a text message between us, I'd decided it was time to stop fighting for our relationship, it clearly wasn't meant to be. 

 

I was surprised however to get a call from Denise. 

 

'Hi Abbi honey, are you ok?'

 

'I'm good thanks Denise' 

 

'Listen I'm calling because of this horrible covid thing, I've decided it's safer for us all to take a private plane back home and I'd like it if you'd fly back with us too on the 25th? We'll be flying from London and I just would feel better, rather than you being on a normal plane with goodness knows who' 

 

'Are you sure Nick will want me to?'

 

'He agreed it's the best idea too, he doesn't want you getting sick either' 

 

'Then thank you, that will be great' 

 

'I'm just so sad it's come to this for you two' she said with a sigh. 

 

'Me too Denise, I guess it was just too much too soon' 

 

Carmen as ever was my rock through everything. She’d thrown her hands up in despair at Nicks behaviour. She also almost threw her hands up in a punch in my face when I told her I'd kissed Sean. They'd been on better terms since he got clean but she still didn't fully trust him, whereas I did.

 

On the 25th I dropped into Seans before I went to the airport. I needed to see him before I left, I needed to know he was ok. He answered the door and invited me in and I explained where I was going and why.

 

'So you're definitely getting the divorce?' He asked.

 

'Yup, I suppose it was inevitable really' I shrugged. He took me in his arms and hugged me, it was just what he needed.

 

'Abbi, when you come back, why don't we give it another try. We've always loved each other and I was just too much of a dick to appreciate you. Now that my life is sorted out, thanks to you, I can be the man you deserve' 

 

'Let me get the divorce out of the way and then let's talk about it again, okay? I need time to heal from all of this stuff with Nick and if we do try again, I want it to be with a clean slate' 

 

'Just think it over, ok?' He said. I gave him another hug and promised to see him when I was back.

 

I met the Jonas family at London City airport and couldn’t believe the size of the private plane, it was huge because all the band and family were flying back together. There were plenty of empty seats thankfully so I was able to sit by myself and just avoid Nick in general. He didn't seem to be too bothered by me being there thankfully and barely looked in my direction but there wasn't any atmosphere which I was glad of. Alena had different ideas for me than reading however, so I ended up playing with her and Valentina for hours. Until Valentina decided that she wanted to go to sleep and climbed up into my arms and I reclined my seat and slept with her. 

 

'Abbi, Abbi' said Nick, shaking my arm and waking me up.

'Hey' I smiled, thinking he wanted to talk. 

'We're almost landing, put your seat up' he said and walked off without another word. 

 

After we landed Denise explained that as a precaution we were all to be swabbed for covid and have bloods taken. Then awkwardly, she told us that Nick and I were sharing a car, I was staying in a hotel near to his house for ease and I guess it made sense to share. We barely said a word to each other, instead we both spent the journey pretending to be fascinated by things outside of the window, but when the car pulled up outside the hotel, there was a large sign saying 'closed due to covid'. I was furious, I hadn't even had an email to tell me. Now what?

 

'Why don't you just come back to my place until you sort out another hotel?' Nick suggested.

 

'If that's ok with you?'

 

'I'm hardly going to leave you stranded am I?'  He asked me sharply.

 

So there I was, back in the home I'd shared briefly with Nick as husband and wife. We agreed that I'd stay there for the 72 hours it would take to get the covid test results back which took us up to Friday, the day of the divorce and then I'd try and get an earlier flight home. Not the three weeks in LA that we'd originally planned that's for sure. 

 

Those 72 hours felt so awkward. I spent most of them in the pool or on the deck reading. Meanwhile he was in the studio a lot, in the gym or working on his other projects. Finally the call came through with the covid results on the morning of the divorce. Nick answered the phone and got his then passed the phone to me. My results were slightly more complicated. The dr explained my results were negative for covid but they did show that I was positive for something else. I listened as he explained it all and hung up the phone. I felt all colour draining from my face.

 

'Are you ok? Have you got it?' Nick asked clearly seeing in my face that there was something wrong. 

 

'No, I've not got it, but the doctor did tell me that I'm pregnant though so I guess I should say congratulations, you're going to be a father' I explained through my tears. 

 

He was speechless and I couldn't read what he was thinking. Until a massive smile spread across his face. I wish I shared his enthusiasm, a baby threw a spanner in the works massively. 

 

'Abbi, a baby is always a blessing' he said opening his arms to me.

 

'We're literally hours away from being divorced and now I find out I'm pregnant, it's hardly good timing is it? The doctor wants me to have a scan and just check how far I am along. I’ve to go now, do you want to come?'

 

He nodded, grabbing his car keys. His huge smile still on his face, showing exactly how he felt about it, whereas I was still in tears, and not happy ones.

 

We arrived at the hospital, with our face masks on, and went to the OB/GYN who was waiting for us. He was so reassuring and clearly understood that it was all a big shock to us. He took a lot of medical history and even more bloods then took me over to scan me. A baby appeared on the screen immediately. Nick surprised me by grabbing my hand and when I looked at him, he had tears in his eyes. 

 

'Here's your baby Mr and Mrs Jonas' the dr said with a smile. I had to laugh, this was almost the last thing I'd be doing as Mrs Jonas.

 

'This is amazing, I didn't think it would be that big' Nick said studying the screen.

 

'I'd say by measurements you conceived in November so you're at least 17 weeks'

 

November, when we had our night in Seville. I'd still been on birth control but obviously it had failed me. 

 

'But I took a test in January and it was negative?' I asked.

 

'False negatives happen sometimes or it could have been a faulty test' explained the doctor.

 

'November?' Nick repeated. 

 

'Yes, and baby is looking lovely and healthy'

 

I was all but silent for the rest of the appointment and even as we walked out and got in the car, I couldn't find the words. I took out the scan pictures to look at them again, but Nick sat not yet starting the engine, just looking at me. 

 

'What's wrong?' He finally asked

 

'I'm just trying to work out how this is going to work, that's all. I can't get my head around that test we took being a false negative' I explained.

 

'I'm sorry to ask you this again but when the Dr said November, we literally only had that one night together, are you sure the baby is mine?' He asked me. Clearly he still hadn't moved on from his doubts after all. 

 

I didn't answer, I turned away. 'Take me home. NOW'

 

Back at the house I took myself into the guest room immediately and called around the airlines. American was my last hope-

 

'What do you mean there's no flights to London? I need a flight to anywhere in the UK tonight'

 

'I'm sorry ma'am but there's a global pandemic and there are no available flights. If you follow us on Twitter then you'll see when the situation changes'

 

'Thanks for nothing' and I slammed the phone down. I immediately felt terrible, it wasn't her fault that my husband just asked if our baby was his. 

 

After a while he came and knocked on the door to see if I was ready to go to sign the divorce. 

 

'Abbi, I'm sorry, I guess it still plays on my mind that you ran off with Sean first thing that morning, but if you say nothing happened then I believe you' 

 

'We can get a DNA test when baby is born and you'll know for certain. Can we go now?'

 

'I didn't know if you'd still want to go through with this now' he said 

 

'I think we just need to do it and move on now, we don't need to be married to raise a baby together' I replied coldly. 

 

'Okay then, if you're sure' he replied. If I was sure? Was it not him that had made this decision.

 

'I have a problem though, I've called around the airlines and there's no earlier flights at the moment because of this bloody covid but I'll keep trying. I cant even book a hotel because they're all closing'

 

'Just stay here until your flight then, the house big enough that we hardly need to see each other if that's what you want and there's someone else we need to consider now too' 


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