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"Hey, you know Jesse and Rainie are next door, right?" Joe asked distractedly as he rooted through his bag for something.

We were in New York City, and as it turned out, Pep was right: Rainie did accompany Jesse. This confused me because I thought she had classes to attend, but I hadn't had time to question her yet. Every time we were near each other, she was whisked away, or I was whisked away, or she literally turned away like an icicle-haired, frost-covered frigid bitch. The problem was that she looked so fucking hot that the icicles dripped away and steam radiated from her perfect body, causing my eyes to burn... but not in an unpleasant way, of course. 

I looked up quickly from my spot on the bed where I had been texting Pep about this predicament. Not being able to see my own expression, it's hard to say - but I'm pretty sure my eyebrows were nothing but a straight line as I demanded, "What."

Joe forgot about what he was looking for and bounded towards me, yelling, "Sike!"

I tried to kick him in the groin for playing such a terrible joke, but he grabbed my leg and I flew off of the bed onto the floor. He walked away laughing.

"Wow," I said after him as I rubbed my back in pain, "That joke would have been really funny in 1995." 

Ever since I told Joe about my relationship (or lack thereof) with Rainie, he had been making stupid jokes like this, exactly like I expected him to. It was all Pep's fault for making me talk to him. The only good thing was that he was slowly returning to his annoying self after breaking up with Camilla - in fact, he had been flirting all morning with some girl he met backstage at Regis and Kelly. And of course, as I lay on the carpeted floor of our hotel room while my tailbone began to bruise, it was obvious that our relationship was back to normal. Thank God. (Sarcasm).

"It's funny now," Joe informed me good-humouredly. 

I propped myself on my elbows. "Does it look like I'm laughing?"

Joe's raised his shoulders as he chuckled, taking a few moments to laugh before exclaiming, "That's 'cause the joke's on you, fuckjoy! They actually are next door!"

I took a moment to process this as Joe continued to root around his bag. "Wait. They are or they aren't?"

Joe found what he was looking for (a matching sock) and smirked again. "Wouldn't you like to know?" 

If he were smarter, he would answer my question directly. I had Camilla's number, and I wasn't afraid to use it.

I stood up and walked towards him. "Tell me." 

"Why don't you go see for yourself?"

I bit the inside of my lip and brought my phone to my face, X'ing out of my message to Pep and scrolling through my contacts. "Hmm... Camilla Belle. I was thinking of calling her up for a chat..." 

As expected, the smile on Joe's face vanished. "Come on, that's not funny."

I thoroughly enjoyed retorting, "That's 'cause the joke's on you, fuckjoy." 

"Okay, yes!" he cried, snatching my phone from my hands. "They're next door, okay?"

My face fell. "Are you serious? Why? Who arranged this!?"

Joe shook his head at me, as if I was an idiot. "Uh, you did," he said condescendingly. "Remember? Dad, we always stay in the Trump Hotel. Let's stay in Jesse's hotel. He said it's nice. Come on, Dad."

... heh. I might have arranged this. 

Again, I blame this on Pep. She spawned the notion that Rainie might be here, and for that reason, I needed to be in her hotel. Rainie would stay with Jesse, which meant I had to stay with Jesse.

But I never said I wanted to be next door!

It was too close for comfort, and I needed to rectify this immediately. Before Joe could continue mimicking me in a high-pitched, nasally voice, I stormed out of the room and turned left in search of my father's room. If worse came to worse, I would switch with him.

"Hey, Nick," someone called as I stalked past the door on the left. I backed up a few paces to see Jesse standing just inside the door, hanging up his coat. Rainie was sitting in the corner of the room at the table, purposely fixated on a textbook in front of her. "What's up, man?" Jesse asked me. 

I glared at him for a few seconds before grumbling, "This needs to be fixed."

"Huh?" I heard him ask as I continued on the search for my father. "What needs to be fixed?" 

What a wet blanket. Someone needed to expose this guy as the Dream Streeting pussy he is, or I was afraid I might do something drastic, like drive my car over his face.

That night, Joe brought his newfound lady friend back to our room to 'talk'. Her name was Sam, and she was pretty, but I really wanted to get to sleep. I'd had a long, hard day, and thoughts of Rainie and Jesse sharing a room wasn't making it better.

It astounds me that two years later, people are still asking me about my relationship with Miley. It's like every time I think everyone's finally moved on (because hell, I moved on a week later - a month, tops), Miley writes something in her blog or in her autobiography or she gives an interview or she makes a youtube video that turns heads. Then the issue resurfaces, and I get questioned about it in interviews until it has sucked all the life out of me. I am not amused by these questions. And my eyes do not glisten with the ghosts of my past - I feel your pain, Harry Potter. I do.

Anyway, I'd been asked on two different occasions that day of my relationship with Miley Cyrus, and I also had to parade around as the only known single brother out of us three, which made me look like a little bitch. We don't talk about our private lives, but it's not tough to figure out. Everyone knows that Kevin and Danielle are (sometimes) an item, and everyone knows that Camilla and Joe (used to) date. Everyone also knows that Selena and I broke up, and I haven't gone a-knockin' on any doors since then.

If only I could explain to them that I was in the process of securing myself the most beautiful girl in the whole world, I'm sure fans wouldn't say things like 'Aw, poor Nick. He looks so lonely.' 

I wasn't lonely. Did I look lonely? I purposely did not look lonely on-camera. I laughed at Joe's mindless jokes, I smiled until my cheeks were numb, and I smiled some more. Lonely people don't smile. I've never personally met a hermit, but what would he or she need to smile for?

The point is, when Joe brought this Sam girl to our room to talk, he was seconds away from losing his life as I suffocated him with pillows.

I could feel my cheeks heating up as Sam looked me up and down in my pajama pants. I avoided eye contact as I said through gritted teeth, "Joe, I need to talk to you."

He clicked his gum obnoxiously, replying, "Can it wait 'til tomorrow?" 

I twitched. I actually twitched, I was so annoyed. I was like Sideshow Bob, but instead of shuddering after stepping on rake after rake, I was twitching after speaking to my brother, the human mosquito. Annoying, itchy and an all-around pain-in-the-ass (if the mosquito were to bite you in the ass, that is).

"It'll just take a second," I muttered.

He followed me into the hallway and I shut the door behind him. "Can you do this somewhere else?" I asked, keeping my voice low.

Joe shrugged nonchalantly. "I kind of wanted to do it in a private place. I really like this girl."

"Do you really want to strike up a romance with her while I'm in the room?"

"That's right..." Joe agreed, the thought finally striking him. He smile with a new idea, suggesting, "Hey, maybe you can sleep in Dad's room. Or Kevin's." 

I smiled along as sarcastically as possible, returning, "Or maybe you can go fuck yourself."

His shoulders slouched. "Nick, this is the first girl who's made me forget about Camilla... please, do this for me." 

"It's been like ten days!" I exclaimed. "You're not supposed to forget about her yet!"

Joe clasped his hands together, holding them up as if in prayer. "Please?" he pleaded. 

Fuck. I really needed a girlfriend. Like, really badly. This was terrible.

"Ugh... fine," I consented, and he squealed like a girl and hugged me. I pushed away immediately, disgusted by his behaviour. "No kissing. No touching. Just talking." 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," he said quickly, and I knew he had just dismissed my orders. Twat.

He made a move to open the door, and it was then that we realized that we had locked ourselves out of the room. "Woops," Joe said with a laugh, knocking on the door.

While we waited for Sam to open it for us, Rainie and Jesse turned the corner and wandered down the hallway, hand-in-hand. They waved when they saw us, and I felt my face flush a darker shade of red. Standing there in nothing but pajama pants, locked out of my own hotel room with the stupidest brother anyone could ever have, staring at the love of my life as she held hands and giggled with my mortal enemy.

Fuck my life.

Joe and his precious Sam didn't talk as long as I expected. Eventually, Mom knocked on our door and suggested that we get to bed (of course, at this time I was already in bed, glaring at the clock and feeling incredibly awkward. Seriously, could they not have found a different place to converse?). Sam left with Joe's promise of a call, and a few minutes later, Joe turned out the light. 

Little did I know, my night was just beginning.

Once the lights were out, it took me approximately three minutes to fall asleep. Usually I'm able to sleep through anything, but I think the awkwardness of overhearing Joe and Sam's conversation made me tense and alert, ultimately throwing off my regular sleeping pattern. I woke up a couple of times as Joe muttered things in his sleep. I didn't even know he did that.

(I'm not going to lie: I brushed it off, rolled over and fell right back to sleep, but when I woke up the next morning I was very frightened. I couldn't remember what he'd said, but I started to think about how many nights of our lives we had spent in the same room. How many times had I been unable to hear his thoughts when he slept? I hoped to God he hadn't had any inappropriate dreams around me).

It wasn't even midnight when I woke up to voices. It took a couple of minutes to process where the noise was coming from, but after a while, it was pretty clear that it was taking place in the neighbouring hotel room. And who was in that hotel room? Well, as Joe ever-so-kindly informed me earlier, it was Jesse and my girlfriend. 

As soon as I pieced this together and opened my eyes, I started to listen to what they were saying. The first thing I made out was Rainie as she shouted, "Right there!"

My eyes widened. They were having sex?! No! NO! No with a long string of o's at the end! 

Before I even knew what I was doing, I grabbed a pillow and shoved it over my ears, slamming my head into the mattress. I was not going to listen to this. Why did Rainie have to have a key phrase while doing it? Now all I could picture was her naked body with Jesse. Which was unpleasant, and kind of disturbed me. Really disturbed me. But I couldn't shake the mental image no matter how hard I tried.

I curled up into a ball as I held the pillow over my ears. While I shifted my body, I momentarily let the pillow slack and heard a cry of, "Oh yeah!"

This was the worst thing that had ever happened to me.

I watched as Joe's mouth moved; he was talking to himself again. Why were there so many noises when I was trying to sleep!?

After a while, I realized that all the lovemaking was waking Joe up, too. Rainie and Jesse deserved an award; waking up Joe was like waking up someone in a coma. (I don't know how my mom does it every day. I think she must know his ticklish spot or something). Joe's eyes fluttered, and he stretched in bed. He lifted his head to stare at the wall behind him, and his face broke into a smile.

It would have made me so happy to toothpick his face into that exact expression for all-time, and see how he liked it.

He glanced at me, doing a double-take when he realized my eyes were open. He turned on the light. I scowled, muttering, "Turn it off. And don't listen, you sick fuck."

I couldn't tell what he said in reply. The pillow covering my ears was doing a great job. Joe rolled his eyes, throwing the blankets off his body and swivelling on the bed. He stood up and attempted to rip the pillow away from my ears. We had a tug-o-war for a good ten seconds as I held onto the pillow for dear life and tried to kick him away. Eventually, he tugged so hard that the pillow flew out of my arms and I actually rolled off the bed. 

That was the second time that day I'd fallen from bed to floor. It fucking hurt.

"What are you trying to do?!" I cried, my voice going all high-pitched and girlish. (How embarrassing. But this was actually a crisis. Desperate times call for pre-pubescent, cracking voices). 

"Listen!" he whispered, pointing to the wall and throwing my pillow onto his bed.

"That's exactly what I'm trying not to do!" I retorted. Was he a complete fucktard? Could he not put two-and-two together? 

Joe frowned, shaking his head at me as I stood up slowly. "They're fighting, faggypants. Just listen."

It would have been a much more effective insult if we weren't wearing matching pajama pants, but still, his words intrigued me. Fighting? Interesting. All-too-enthusiastically, I hopped onto the bed on my knees and pressed my cheek to the wall, my palms flat on either side of my head. 

"Well what do you want me to do?" Jesse's voice. I'd never heard him sound angry before.

"I want you to grow up and start acting your age!" Rainie exclaimed. She was more upset with him than she had been with me a week ago. Much, much more upset. 

"I should grow up? Are you kidding me? You're the one who acts like a little kid in this relationship! You're so whiny, you're so needy!"

"Is it so much to ask for a boyfriend to call once in a while? To want to spend time with his girlfriend when he's in town, or when she accompanies him to New York?" 

"Nobody asked you to come!" Ouch. "I don't have time for this, okay? I go through this with every girl I date. I thought you were different."

"Maybe you should get the hint, then! Being a good boyfriend means communicating!" 

"I don't have time!" Jesse repeated. "Okay? Back the fuck off! This is my career. This is my life. This is what I love, and I'm sorry, but I'm not giving it up just so I can spend every waking moment with you. Jesus."

I stopped listening to glance at Joe, whose head was also pressed to the wall.

(Wow. It was a good thing Joe and I had a strong bond and would never release this information to anyone... because if this got out, we'd both look like idiots. And the last thing I wanted was to be grouped in the same intellectual category as my brother).

"But what about the moaning?" I asked quietly, utterly confused. 

"What moaning? There was only yelling," he replied.

I shook my head. "She said 'right there'." Her signature sex-word. I knew it. 

"She said 'Right there, that's why I have a problem with it.'"

Oh. "And 'oh yeah'?" I asked. 

Joe smiled at me like I was a naïve little child. "I don't know. They weren't having sex, I promise you."

It was odd that my brother was promising me something like that. I wasn't sure if I was comfortable with it.

"I never asked for you to do that! You're taking it to the extreme; all I want is for you to acknowledge me once in a while!" Rainie shouted. 

I sighed, leaning back on my knees and distancing myself from the wall. "Why doesn't she just dump him?" I questioned out loud.

"Why doesn't he just dump her? She's crazy."

I glowered. More yelling ensued, and I kept waiting for one of them to say the words: 'This is over'. It never came. What the fuck? Fights like this were supposed to terminate a relationship. Where was the termination?

"I can't listen to this," I mumbled, climbing off the bed and dragging my feet to the door.

"Where are you going?" Joe asked.

"Finding somewhere else to sleep." Neither Dad nor Kevin would be pleased if I woke them up at this hour and begged for a place to stay, but they could suck it - no disrespect whatsoever towards my father, but really, they could suck it. I could not handle this. 

I had literally just stepped into the hallway when the adjacent door was flung open, hitting the wall inside the room with a bang. I was so startled that I jumped backwards into the wall like a coward. Red-faced and livid, Jesse barely noticed me as he grabbed his coat and stormed off. The door remained open. I waited until I heard the elevator button 'ding' before I ventured further into the hallway. I only wanted to peek in and assess the damage; that was all. I tried to be sly about it, but there was really no way to do that if I wanted a good look.

Jesse had slammed the door so hard that it ricocheted off the wall and was half-closed. I couldn't see much of the inside of the room, but as I neared the door, I heard a sob. 

Oh. There was my cue.

Carefully, I placed my hand on the doorknob and the other flat on the surface of the door. I pushed it open just enough to snake my head around and peer inside. Rainie sat at the foot of the bed, her head buried in her hands. Her shoulders shook.

Call me insensitive, but crying girls are so my thing. Not if I make them cry, of course - but there's nothing like pouncing on an emotionally wounded girl. It was the perfect time to lay the groundwork. It was the opportune moment to show Rainie how reliable I was. However, I did wish that I was wearing a shirt, because I suddenly felt vulnerable in nothing but flannel pajama pants.

Too late now.

I didn't want to surprise her, but I was also afraid that if she looked up and saw me walking towards her, she'd tell me to go away. Choosing to remain silent, I made my way to her. It became awkward when I was literally standing two inches away and she still had no idea I was in the room, so I sat on the bed and leaned forward, my forearms resting on my thighs. 

Maybe intruding on her crying wasn't the best idea, because it was brutally uncomfortable waiting for her to stop. I felt like I was giving her privacy by not looking at her, but at the same time, I needed to see her.

She sniffled, and I felt her moving beside me. "You heard," she said quietly. 

I looked back at her. "Yeah." At least she didn't sound surprised. I hated the rare occasions when my mother and father fought loudly when we were younger. Joe and I would go down to the kitchen to see what was going on, and my parents would be absolutely astonished that we were awake. 'You heard?!' they'd say, like it was an inconceivable notion. Yes, I fucking heard. I have functioning ears, for Christ's sake.

For someone who had a few tears falling down her face, Rainie's cheeks weren't puffy and her eyes weren't blotchy. She was beautiful even when she cried. Go figure.

She wiped away stray tears before letting her hands drop to her lap. She bit her lip, suppressing the urge to say something, but then she went for it. "He's just so..." And then she couldn't finish.

"Douchebaggish?" I suggested, placing my hands on my knees and standing up. I wanted to face her. I always wanted to look at her. 

Rainie laughed weakly. I hadn't meant for it to be funny, but okay. "Yeah," she agreed. "Sometimes."

"Are you sad?"

She shook her head firmly, and almost all traces of tears were gone. I wasn't sure if I believed her. Personally, I wouldn't be sad if Jesse McCartney yelled at me. I might be scared, because when I had glanced at him in passing, his face was so red that it looked like it might explode... but I wouldn't be sad if it did, either. It would probably be for the best.

I rubbed sleep out of my eyes as I muttered, "You haven't answered my texts." 

"I know."

"Why?" 

She smiled apologetically. "I think you know why."

I stared at the ground while I planned my next words. I hadn't expected to have this conversation with her today, but apparently it was the opportune moment, so I had to roll with the punches. Grin and bear it. Go with the flow. Y'know, all those stupid cliché phrases that old people tell you, as if they're so much wiser than you and don't know that you're aware of how often they've been recycled. 

Meeting her eyes again, I let out a sigh before saying, "I wouldn't do this to you. I would call you every day. Twice a day. You know I would; I already do. I wouldn't put anybody before you; not my guy friends, not anyone. I would want to spend every moment with you, and I'd never take it for granted."

I hated myself a little bit for that romantic jargon, but at least I didn't spit out something lame, like 'you're the apple of my eye', or 'words cannot explain how much I love you'. 'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?' Pft, yeah. You do that, Shakespeare. While you're busy making those comparisons, I'm gonna go get the girl. Have fun, pal. 

Because I was expecting Rainie to snap at me, I was surprised when she continued to smile sadly. I was even more surprised when she grabbed a hold of my hand in both of hers and pulled me a step towards her.

"I don't really fall for guys," she said slowly. "But if I did, I know I would fall for you." 

Hell yes, you would. I'd catch you on the way down, Rainie. I'd dip you, and we'd tango across the floor and celebrate our love Latino style. (Or any style. It didn't matter much to me. I'm not much of a Latin dancer, anyway).

Okay. Well, then. That was taken care of. I felt like clapping my hands together and breathing a sigh of relief, because we could finally move on to the next step. The only two problems were that it would completely ruin the moment that was perfectly set up, and Rainie had a hold of my hand. But I'm a quick thinker, so I used that to my advantage. 

I pulled her up so that she was standing right in front of me. It was the closest we had ever been to one another, and I remembered that she had freckles on her nose. My heart was beating really fast, and if I didn't get this over with as soon as possible, I was definitely going to get a boner. That would be bad.

So I had to do it. I had to kiss her, and then get the hell out. The problem was that I wanted to attack her with kisses. I wanted to grab her, slam her against the wall and devour her.

I wasn't quite sure how she'd react to that, and I had once told her that I only bet on sure things. Plus, if I treated her the way I wanted, she'd be screaming my name and Joe would certainly hear through the walls. I had heard - and seen - him and Camilla making out more times than I could count, but this was different because it was Rainie, and she was mine. I was not sharing any part of her with anyone. (Except for Jesse McFuckface... but I was trying to push his face out of my mind as I contemplated my next move).

Before I could think of something smooth, she wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me close to her. Well, that I wasn't expecting. Was this a friendly hug? If so, then I objected. Still... I returned the gesture and closed my eyes, because her hands on my bare back felt really nice. She propped her chin on my shoulder. You don't do that if you're just friends, right? Negative. This was a more-than-friends hug.

Oh, wow. Excitement. Boner. Bad. Focus, Nick! Get in, get out!

Instead of having my way with her right then and there, I nuzzled her cheek with my nose. It was a gesture that read, 'turn your head this way, please'. Rainie obliged; she knew what it meant. She lifted her chin from my shoulder and stared at me - I was getting better at reading her, but I couldn't decide what the stare meant - and that's when I decided to go for it. I leaned in and gently pressed my lips to hers. Nothing really happened. 

It was frustrating. Where the fuck were the fireworks? This was all Jesse's fault. He ruined her and made her sad, and even my luscious lips couldn't provide a quick fix. If she wasn't with him, I would have been allowed to display more passion.

Suddenly, her lips started to move against mine. I was so excited that I almost:

  1. a) jizzed in my pants
    b) broke the kiss to shout, "Yes!"
    c) moaned aloud and ruined the moment
    d) all of the above

The key word is 'almost'. I have remarkable self-control, but even as I felt her respond, I was wondering what I could possibly do to mess this up. She was so beautiful; it was almost inevitable that I would make a mistake. Joe would materialize in the room with a camera, and he would laugh at me and tell everyone what a horrible kisser I was, providing photographic proof.

I'm not horrible, by the way; I just have a certain methodical way of kissing girls. When I felt Rainie sucking on my lower lip, I knew that my method was working on her. See, first I trap her top lip between mine. I'm a top lip trapper because it makes me seem taller, you know? Like, my lips are so far above hers that the top lip is the only one I can get without bending down. It's an assertion of masculinity, and I'm positive that it works every time. Girls swoon with my top lip action.

Rainie wasn't pulling away, so... hey, I'm oh-for-three. Ladies and gentleman: Nick Jonas, Master of Kissing. Applause, please. I could hear them cheer.

But I wasn't done yet. The top lip trapping is only the first step. Next, I slid my hands to her slender neck, my thumbs grazing just to the side of her ears. This way I was in control. Guys can take control without violently slamming girls against walls, by the way. I learned that with Miley when she tried to dominate me in large open spaces.

Breaking our lip contact for a split second - maybe it was even less than a second; I didn't want to give her enough time to think this through - I tilted my head to the opposite side and reconnected our lips. I wanted to taste every part of her. Plus, it was the perfect transition to tongue.

Tongues are really disgusting when you think about them. You probably don't think about them too often, but I've spent time pondering it before, and really... they're not all that pretty. But for some reason, tangling tongues with someone else is the ultimate form of pleasure above the waist. (Actually, once I got a massage, and that was great too... but no, no, I'm sticking with the tongue thing).

I paused for a moment as I mulled over my decision to insert tongue... maybe it was too soon. Maybe it was too late. Maybe Jesse changed his mind and was going to reappear in mere seconds. Or maybe if you don't hurry the hell up, Nicholas, she's definitely going to feel your excitement pressed up against her!

Get in and get out before you get an erection. My new motto in life. 

With Rainie's hands travelling up my back and the stirring sensation in my loins, I wasted no time. I was a pro at this, anyway. You have to be gentle about it the first time, because girls might not be expecting it (I don't know why. Whenever a girl kisses me, I always expect tongue). I massaged her top lip with mine and prodded slightly with my tongue, (politely) asking for entrance. And... and...

We were in. Golden. 

Kissing Rainie was like standing on top of the world and looking down at all the people and feeling infinite. It was like getting revenge on all the people who had wronged me as a child. It was like freefalling.

Seeing as I've never done any of those things, I guess it wasn't fair to compare them to kissing Rainie. For all I knew, kissing Rainie could be better than those things. Maybe kissing Rainie wasn't like anything else in the world.

She was wearing a thin shirt, and I wasn't wearing a shirt at all. I could feel her chest against mine, and while it was adding to the wondrous kiss we were sharing, it was not helping me out down below. I wondered if she'd be up for second base... no. Not an option. My body couldn't take it. Sperm production was already in overdrive.

I was surprised that I hadn't screwed anything up yet. Pleasantly surprised, but surprised nonetheless. At least, I didn't think I had screwed anything up. Had I? She wasn't pushing me away, but maybe it was out of politeness. I opened an eye, just to make sure.

(Side-note: have you ever opened only one eye while kissing? I don't recommend it. Winking and kissing are not compatible).

I closed my eye just as quickly. That was weird.

Her teeth were really straight. She tasted like gum. Minty fresh. Thank God I'd brushed and flossed my teeth that night before bed. Flossing is a rarity. It was like God knew I'd be kissing Rainie and wanted to make sure my hygiene was up to par.

It kind of bothered me that Jesse's tongue had probably explored all the places I was exploring now.

I wondered how long it had been since I had breathed. I was running out of oxygen, and as much as I was savouring these precious moments... well, dying would kind of cancel it all out. 

Rainie was probably having the same thought, because we disconnected in a sort of mutual agreement. Still, I kept my hands on her. I didn't want to let her go. This was just half-time, right?

Rainie gulped, licking her lips. I watched her with curiosity. And awe. And lust.

Our eyes locked. "This..." she trailed off.

I nodded, urging her to continue. "Was nice?" I suggested quietly. 

All of a sudden, her face crumpled. She looked like she was going to cry. My eyes widened in horror. No. No! For the love of God, don't let her ruin this for me. How could I possibly recount this story later with pride if I had to admit that she cried after I kissed her!? This was like déjà vu. Harry and Cho Chang (okay, so it technically wasn't déjà vu, but Rainie wasn't my Cho! They don't even end up together!) This was like a story that a fourteen-year-old girl would submit to a teen magazine under the category 'Worst kiss!'

I hoped to God that Rainie didn't subscribe to magazines. 

"I have a boyfriend," she told me.

I can't explain how much effort it took to control myself in that moment. Not that I read Twilight, but I totally know how Edward Cullen feels. It was like Rainie was my Bella, and suddenly, I wanted to kill her.

My hands fell and I took a step back. That was it. She ruined it. All this time, I was worried about screwing up, when I should have been worrying about her screwing up.

I shook my head vehemently. "No. Don't say that." She had ten seconds to take it back, and we could pretend like it was never said. 

"It's true."

Five... four... three... two... one and a half... one and a quarter... 

Dammit, Rainie!

I bit the inside of my cheek, forcing myself not to spew out everything I wanted to say. At first, she had appeared torn, but now she hardly even seemed apologetic. What a fucking bitch. Why the hell was she so hot? 

I don't really know what I did with my arms, but I think I half-shrugged and narrowed my eyes at her as I spun around and headed to the door. I needed to think about this. I needed to make sense of it. She didn't make sense. Why was she the only person who didn't make sense?!

"Where are you going?" she asked, her voice back to its usual tone and pitch. It was like nothing had happened at all. 

If it were anyone else, flipping her the bird as I slammed the door would have made for a great exit. But I figured that kind of behaviour wouldn't get me anywhere with her, so I chose not to respond.

"Nick!" she exclaimed in exasperation.

Oh, I'm sorry, Rainie. Am I annoying you? Shucks. Can't imagine what that would be like.

It took all of my internal strength to ignore her, and I released the biggest breath of life as I shut the door. I walked next door and turned the knob - of course I was locked out of the room. Again.

I knocked. And knocked. And knocked. So much for making a grand exit. If Rainie wanted to make me look like the biggest loser on the planet, all she had to do was open her door and laugh at me.

It took three minutes of consecutive knocking before I grabbed a chair from the hallway with the elevator and slammed it against the door repeatedly. Joe answered the door just as the chair came crashing towards it. A half-asleep Joe was thrown backwards as the door hit him, and the leg of the chair collided with the doorframe and snapped off. I was too angry to deal with it, so I left the broken chair sitting in the hallway and went to bed. 

Needless to say, neither my father nor the hotel staff was pleased in the morning.

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