Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you’re looking for has been here the whole time. And if you see that I’m the one who understands you. Been here all along so why can’t you see? You belong with me.
“Wait so what did he say?” Selena repeated one more time, exasperatedly in her phone. I wiped off the imaginary sweat off my forehead, sat on my bed, settling the phone on my shoulder to my ear, and then began fidgeting to close the straps on my heels. After Nick’s sudden departure from my apartment, something between the two of us left me quite uneasy. It was awkward most of all just thinking about it.
“He just told me I should stay away from Corey then he left.” The word felt so harsh in a way since I had never used it to point at Nick. I sighed hard and I didn’t really want to speak about it any more. Selena understood how uncomfortable I felt about the sudden disappearance and she claimed that she had work to do at 1 when it was merely 10 o’clock. I didn’t mind and shut the phone quickly once the door bell rang.
I picked up my Chanel handbag off the kitchen counter and slung the metal straps on my shoulder. Just before Nick was about ring the door bell again, I opened the door. I smiled weakly as his did the same and slung his head slow.
The moment I climbed into Nick’s car, the overall feeling was, well, quiet. It hasn’t been that way in such a long time, well truthfully quiet because the only reasons we would hold a grudge against each other was for some lame reason like taking his socks. But I knew this time it felt different. Nick coughed a few times quietly while I shifted incessantly during the ride.
I didn’t even think we were trying to ignore each other or purposely make it awkward, but it just happened.
Smart of me to just switch the radio to drown out the silence, Nick nodded and seemed satisfied that he wasn’t the first to take the ‘oh so lethal’ gesture. He relaxed his shoulders but his grip on the steering wheel tightened just a bit more. Man, if he clutched on that thing any harder he would’ve just diagnosed himself Arthritis.
Not thinking about it might help me so it won’t feel so friggin long. I turned my head to the window to see the houses that was only two blocks away from my apartment complex pass by briskly, like a jog. How was I really going to tell Nick that I was bringing Corey to the wedding, his wedding, when for some God given reason he repelled him with a passion? Was I going to tell him at all since at this point, I don’t even know I’ll get passed a simple greeting? Was Nick even going to speak to me at any point today? I mean I am his best girl, aren’t I sentenced to have some type of conversation with the groom?
For some reason, it all felt so confusing. Nothing at all made sense.
By the time Joe and Kevin, who brought along Kimmy, scrambled into the car with the band following behind in another car, they both sensed a bit of tension in the car. But of course, Joe merely thinks before he opens his mouth and says humorously, “Who died in here?” Kevin elbowed Joe in the stomach.
Joe began to pat his stomach by the sore Kevin must have left him.
“So Nick,” Kevin said in a very business-like tone, “Garbo and the rest of the guys are going to meet us at the hotel. I’m sure I gave them the right room.” Nick nodded silently and that was the end of the conversation from there.
Everyone once in a while, Kimmy would ask why we were so unusually quiet. Joe would shrug, wondering the same, Kevin shook his head and ‘shh’ them.
It felt like forever and a day by the time we got to the hotel. Nick parked his car and I quickly unbuckled by seat belt to release myself from this car confinement. Everyone did the same and one behind the other (Kimmy was clutching onto Kevin’s hand) into the hotel and upstairs to the room.
The tension seemed to have dissolved a bit once the boys eyed their blazers all hung up on headless mannequins for show all around the room. A smile finally cracked on Nick’s face as everyone sighed in relief that something at least made him happy today. Michelle in her always styling motif was lint rolling the other suits. “Hey guys just take a look and tell me what you like.”
Everyone smiled began to wander around. Kimmy was making her own suggestions on what everyone should wear. Michelle put down the lint roller and started walking toward me. “Hey Maya, so Ellie handed me the awful looking dress,” She made a gagging sound while saying this, “she told me the whole story and we both want to help.” She pulled me in another spot in the room for what I suppose more privacy.
I sighed. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Michelle, this is not what I wanted.”
“I know, Maya, but when she explained to me her plan; I couldn’t agree more. We both said,” She crouched down to me to whisper, “at least before the wedding you should tell him.” I was ready to oblige but she stopped me first. “And for some God awful reason, he doesn’t feel the same; then wear this dress and he’ll realize how truly beautiful you are with this dress on and those feelings locked up in your heart. Just think about it, Kibbs.”
I didn’t respond. I looked down to the carpet and crossed my arms against my chest. This was so unfair. Everyone in the whole world was seemingly to know what was going on except for me. “Thanks.” I began to tap my fingers on my arms impatiently.
She smiled softly. “Okay, well the dress is in the bathroom. You can try it on at any time while we’re here.”
“Do I have to?” I began to whine as if I was still a young girl. She rolled her eyes playfully and pointed to the bathroom. I sighed and agreed to her demands. I was literally about to meet my doom.
By the time I turned around, the good ol’ band was in the room already gazing upon the perfectly ironed blazers. They incessantly touched it like it was a brand new puppy to them. They whipped their head to see me watching them intently. They smiled and waved me over. I walked over and greeted them all with hugs. As we let go to look at the white and black lined suit, I could feel more than one hand padding my back continually. I rolled my eyes and turned at them. “Don’t even say that you know too…”
They put down their hands and looked away quickly.
“Oh GOD!” I exclaimed as I laid my head safely in my hands. Nick seemed to jump a little to my exclamation. I innocently waved to them and told them to continue with whatever they were doing. They did as they were told and turned around. “Who told you?” I whispered.
“Everyone knows, Maya.”
I didn’t even know who said it but I shut my eyes and began to breathe in and breathe out slowly. I had no other ways to handle it. This was getting ridiculous and I was even surprised that Nick didn’t even know by now. I have some really loyal friends if they are willing to keep a secret from their other friend this long.
“You can’t just let him marry someone he doesn’t love.” Garbo said in an irate voice.
“Well do I have much of an option?” I said at the point of annoyance. Later, I would probably found to be punching a hole in some kind of wall.
“We’re just saying that you of all people should know that he’s marrying for all the wrong reasons. It’s not because of Miley. It’s not because he wants to start anew. He feels obligated for no reason. But Miley just wants to get her hands on him before anyone else does.”
I shook my head nervously and barely looked up at them. “I don’t believe that.”
“You better believe it, babe. The kid’s screwing up his life right before his eyes.” Lawless eyed.
“Stop being such girls.” I hissed.
I sighed and time just seemed to pass by because after however many hours Nick took to pick his tux, he finally choice his top six. Top six.
Tux after tux went by so slowly. I nodded and ooh-ed with the others like I was supposed to. I even gave an extra thumbs up to the groom. It was torture at it's best. I just wanted to bolt out the room faster than a group of alpacas. Finally after he chose his tux with bow tie, Michelle wiggled her eye brows at me.
I sighed hard and wanted to die right there. I didn't say anything but everyone else in the room was confused to what was going on. Michelle cleared her throat. "Uh, Maya would like to show you gentlemen the dress she chose for the wedding. Wouldn't you, Kibbs?"
I didn't respond but gritted a smile. I pushed myself off the bed and to the bathroom to show off myself in a way I never wished to.