I shook my head, quickly wiping away the tears before Corey felt obligated to wipe them for me. “I, uh, am just already home sick, I guess.” I shrugged lamely with a fake smile plastered against my face. I forced myself to also suppress a small chuckle that I hardly meant. Corey, whose eyes only slanted more with worry, wrapped me into his arms once again and held on tight, as if our last.
He did not need to yank me onto the plane but it still took a lot out of me to board. I was choking down on drizzling tears so I wouldn’t make Corey feel bad about the entire situation. It wouldn’t been pathetically embarrassing for him to know that the girl he really likes to be basically screaming and having a fit on not going on the plane with him. Thankfully enough, he was way too excited to turn around and check up on me again afterwards.
There were a lot of things that drove me to not immediately get off the plane.
One of them was reminding me that Nick was probably married by now.
One more was that I had hell to pay if I really subdued myself to resort towards a lifetime of ruined relationships I had to pick up. I knew very well that I wouldn’t and couldn’t do that. Running away was a lame way to hide from all my fear but it was also my only option. I was sick and safe all at the same time which still made me want to throw up either way.
I turned to my right to see Corey fast asleep. He was out before he even made it to his seat. He must have been up all night, rehearsing or practicing his new songs for the recording company. Suppressing a small snore, I bit my lip closed so I wouldn’t let my laughter wake him up.
Was I in love with Corey?
I’ve given it enough thought to know that I didn’t love him in that state of mind. He slowly progressing towards being like a brother to me just like all the guys in my life were. Whether or not he knew that, well, that’s out of my reach. Either way, that completely scratches out the idea that I left for Corey. It wasn’t even though I was happy to know that I did have a friend coming with me. It was time for a fresh start and a new beginning.
No, I have no idea where I’m going, who I’m meeting, or have no idea where I’m staying. Yes, I probably should have thought about this more clearly than I formally did. I probably we going to get my ass chewed out in the end by being enough of a moron of last minute moving decisions. Then, suddenly, the anxiety of just figuring my way around had scared me enough to start up the endless water fountain of tears.
Geez, I’m emotionally pathetic.
I looked away so even if he did wake up, he would at least give a second take on whether or not I was actually crying. I slumped back in my seat, allowing the uncomfortable seat to get acquainted with my back bones. I looked at my phone, automatically seeing a picture of Nick and me from a few years back in Disney World.
Just seeing the happiness between us two just seemed so foreign and unimaginable. Scrolling through more of my photos, mostly all of them were pictures of Nick, all titled, Nick and me, Nicky, Nicknack, Nick and me at beach, endless photos made me rediscover ancient memories that had almost slipped my mind.
I forgot to feel special that I was the only person he confided towards. He acted like a child around me, less mature as everyone perceives him to be. Together, we were immature and pathetically fun. Well, we were like that. Now, we stood nowhere, worlds apart. I didn’t know if I’d even seem again for as long as I shall live. Maybe, it would be the day when I stop loving him. Then looking back, it would be a very long time from now.
I sighed, deleting the “All” button on my phone, letting all the wasted memories dump themselves in the cyber world. One after one had left my mind and heart forever. If I was choosing to move on, I had to let everything I knew go too. I would be heading to nowhere if I didn’t.
Then, suddenly interrupting the deletion of my photos, my phone flashed NEW TXT MESSAGE right above Carly’s name. I knew she was going to tell me how much she hated the wedding or something that no matter how much she would dump on it, it would still hurt. No, I began to shout from within. If I suppressed myself to knowing the unnecessary things such as Nick and Miley then I’m letting myself getting chewed up.
I ignored and deleted the text and shut off the phone completely before throwing it in the trash nearby.
Note to self: get new phone and new number.
This was the new me and no one else.
Excuse me? Maya Kibble who?
Carly waited an hour only to realize that Maya was not going to answer her text message. After trying to calm down both Nick and herself, she felt the only normal way of communicating with her was through her phone. She called several times only to keep getting her voice mail as a response. She was getting frustrated that Maya was completely cutting off any type of communication with anyone.
Shaking her head, she looked back at the text message that still remained unanswered.
Nick called off the wedding because he’s still in love with you.